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stereonix t1_j6o2mu6 wrote

> I haven't put anyone on a pedestal like this in the last 10 years

That was a huge mistake. She's a human being just like you and has a life—you made it worse by overreacting to her absence and deleting her when you didn't seem ready to let it go. Once you do those things, you don't get to undo them especially since you haven't known each other long on top of her showing signs of disinterest. I'd say you fucked this one up a little too much, just move on.

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BoomTheBear86 t1_j6o56ey wrote

You take the L here and learn from it.

Don’t idealise people, and don’t let your feelings run away with. What you feel isn’t what she feels.

To you, this was a once-a-lifetime-opportunity and perfect connection. To her it could have been a guy she seems to be clicking really well with but she’s just got out of a relationship with a really neurotic guy so she’s a bit wary.

You let your projection of feelings for her cause you to overplay your hand because you were largely thinking of what the interactions meant to you instead of balancing that with what they may mean to her. Take people as they come, not as you feel they might be. She told you she’s bad at texting and you still went for her over her lack of texting after that and ultimately sabotaged yourself because you got in your head too much (like being aware of her activity on socials whilst tracking her text progress with you, that signals you were really giving a lot of attention and thought to what she was doing).

Loosen up a bit, learn, and use the lessons to handle the next time like a champ.

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stereonix t1_j6p74s8 wrote

Putting people on a pedestal is a textbook toxic behavior—if you're excited about someone, you have to remind yourself to take it slow and still treat them like any other potential partner.

Don't reach out to her and don't expect her to reach out to you. Live and learn

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