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DistraugtlyDistractd t1_j6pby6q wrote

Reply to comment by quality_username_ in I (22M) broke up with my gf (f21) and I wanted to text her one last thing by [deleted]

I know its a bad idea, I didn't want to end things but I did because she didn't seem to prioritize me and I felt like I was losing her to other guys.

I pretty much said this during the break up, she didn't want to fight to make things work, she said she felt the same way about it not working out for a while. I love what she could be, and maybe if we communicated better it would have worked but that scenario is a make believe one.

I told her I love her and she said the same, she said there is a good chance we get back together. I just miss her man.

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Aussiealterego t1_j6pgt5p wrote

You are in love with your dream of what the relationship could be, not what it was.
You've cut a clean break, let it rest.

DO NOT SEND IT

It's wishy-washy and full of "poor me" and drama. It makes you sound like hard work. Just don't.

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quality_username_ t1_j6pgyb8 wrote

This is a maturity moment. You wanted her to chase you so you felt important. She didn’t. You now want to make sure she knows the ball is in her court. What when she doesn’t make the play the way you want her to?

Many people don’t want to fight to make things work. They want to enjoy their lives. Nothing happened. You felt you weren’t a priority. She probably did feel like you were but you didn’t feel prioritized enough. So- you’re at an impasse.

If you want her back you have to accept who she is and how she loves. And then the ball is in your court. Nobody with self respect will chase someone who dumped them. That being said “I love what she could be”… don’t love for potential. People are going to grow into who they want to be- not who you want them to be. At 21 she still has a lot of growing to do (you do too)… love her for who she is or let her go.

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