Submitted by Dummkopf_Idiot t3_10pv8og in relationship_advice

Urequited love hurts. I've never dated them or anything, so I know people will say I'm being stupid for being in this much pain over someone I've never even dated, but I don't agree. They just don't understand what it's like.

It hurts so much that sometimes I actually cry. I know it's kinda sad and cringe, but it's whatever.

When they expressed that they didn't see me in that way awhile ago, I was heartbroken, but I thought I'd get over it with time. But the feelings have only gotten more intense since then, and it's clear that they'll probably never go away.

These aren't some wishy-washy highschool feelings that you get over in a few weeks; I'm genuinely deeply love this person. I was imagining myself in a full relationship with this person. Marriage, the dating phase, eventually moving in together, growing old together, yada yada all of that stuff.

Just knowing that that won't ever happen is kind of a lot.

I just don't know what to do. It hurts so much.

I need advice.

3

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

celestina047 t1_j6mgft2 wrote

You are hurting this much because you made up that whole idea of you two together. You kinda did is to yourself. You can't really know anything unless you try and since you two never been together you really can't know that she is the one and that you were meant to grow old. I've been through it all. It's different once you date and then once you move in together and sometimes you see some things that your partner does that you don't like.

My advice is to don't be close to them for a while. Focus on something else. Date. Learn more about nes people and if they like you back then imagine things cuz then you can do that together. It's better.

3

Dummkopf_Idiot OP t1_j6mhywe wrote

I can't date. I'm not the type of person who can just move on and date other people. I rarely am even interested in people anyway.

Plus, I don't know if you've noticed, but dating isn't really something I can just do.

−2

angradillo t1_j6mmlr8 wrote

You can either continue to throw this pity party for yourself and suffer, or accept that something you only perceived as true never really existed in the first place. That is adulthood, welcome to it.

Do some hobbying, go for a walk, hit the gym, or read a new book. Then, get back into the game.

3

AutoModerator t1_j6mbon6 wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.


#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1