I [M22] have fallen in love with someone [F22] who doesn't feel the same way about me, and It hurts. I don't know what to do. I need advice.

Submitted by Dummkopf_Idiot t3_10pv8og in relationship_advice

Urequited love hurts. I've never dated them or anything, so I know people will say I'm being stupid for being in this much pain over someone I've never even dated, but I don't agree. They just don't understand what it's like.

It hurts so much that sometimes I actually cry. I know it's kinda sad and cringe, but it's whatever.

When they expressed that they didn't see me in that way awhile ago, I was heartbroken, but I thought I'd get over it with time. But the feelings have only gotten more intense since then, and it's clear that they'll probably never go away.

These aren't some wishy-washy highschool feelings that you get over in a few weeks; I'm genuinely deeply love this person. I was imagining myself in a full relationship with this person. Marriage, the dating phase, eventually moving in together, growing old together, yada yada all of that stuff.

Just knowing that that won't ever happen is kind of a lot.

I just don't know what to do. It hurts so much.

I need advice.

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celestina047 t1_j6mgft2 wrote

You are hurting this much because you made up that whole idea of you two together. You kinda did is to yourself. You can't really know anything unless you try and since you two never been together you really can't know that she is the one and that you were meant to grow old. I've been through it all. It's different once you date and then once you move in together and sometimes you see some things that your partner does that you don't like.

My advice is to don't be close to them for a while. Focus on something else. Date. Learn more about nes people and if they like you back then imagine things cuz then you can do that together. It's better.

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Dummkopf_Idiot OP t1_j6mhywe wrote

Replying to celestina047 (#1,654,083)

I can't date. I'm not the type of person who can just move on and date other people. I rarely am even interested in people anyway.

Plus, I don't know if you've noticed, but dating isn't really something I can just do.

−2

angradillo t1_j6mmlr8 wrote

Replying to Dummkopf_Idiot (#1,654,518)

You can either continue to throw this pity party for yourself and suffer, or accept that something you only perceived as true never really existed in the first place. That is adulthood, welcome to it.

Do some hobbying, go for a walk, hit the gym, or read a new book. Then, get back into the game.

3