How do I(m20) apologize to my girlfriend(f19) without making it seem like I'm trying to get her to say "it's ok"

Submitted by WaltzLeafington t3_10qe1n5 in relationship_advice

I've been a pain recently because I get extremely stressed and my brain goes into crisis mode. (Maybe she doesn't like me. Maybe she's sleeping with someone else etc. etc.) I don't share all these thoughts. But it still bleeds through.

Basically I want to apologize for being a pain, and adding stress to her already incredibly stressful life. But I don't want to say that because then she'd probably be like "it's ok" or something along those lines. When it's not and I don't want her to say that or feel bad for me.

What should I say?

Edit: She has flaws of course but it doesn't justify me being even mildly toxic to her. She's wonderful and doesn't deserve me making her feel guilty

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Stark_as_summer t1_j6pgldj wrote

Instead of just apologizing, why not do something nice for her?

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WaltzLeafington OP t1_j6pgr8t wrote

I want to address the problem.

I fear that might push off the problem and make her think that I think what I did was ok.

But this is also good advice

Edit: my only issue is the "instead" part.

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Mandrake_Muffley t1_j6pfwlp wrote

Never apologise

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WaltzLeafington OP t1_j6pgdkr wrote

She has flaws of course but it doesn't justify me being even mildly toxic to her. She's wonderful and doesn't deserve me making her feel guilty

I feel like I should add this to my post to clarify

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