Submitted by ThrowRALauraa t3_10q8bjt in relationship_advice

Some background information: my fiance (30M) and I (28F) have been together for 4 years, and we’re getting married next year. We both have a very high sex drive, and I’d say we match perfectly sexually.

So, a few weeks ago I suspected he was cheating, I had my reasons to be suspicious and I confronted him a couple times about this. I found out later that he really wasn’t, we had a talk, I apologized, and he said something like he wouldn’t dare cheating on me because he will never find someone that likes sex as much as I do.

Now I’m wondering if he really likes me, or if what he likes is my high sex drive and just wants to be with me because of sex. We had a talk yesterday, he said he just tried to make a joke and that I need to stop overthinking things.

Idk what to think about this and I’d like other people’s opinions and advice

0

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

trishsf t1_j6og04v wrote

Wow. He can’t do anything right. You wrongly suspect that he cheated which means you don’t trust him and now because he made an offhand humorous compliment, he only wants you for sex. Poor guy.

14

[deleted] t1_j6ogncu wrote

Him: I like the fact that you have a high sex drive just like me

You: So you're saying you only like me because of my sex drive?

🤨

11

wigglebuttbiscuits t1_j6og98v wrote

You sound like you’re seriously insecure and need therapy before you drive him away. First you falsely accused him of cheating, he forgave you and made a harmless joke about how awesome you are, and now you’re holding that against him. Seriously, you need to stop this behavior.

9

cloneketsuji t1_j6oipac wrote

4 years is a long time to not know the answer to your own question.

Maybe YOU are the one not ready for marriage?

6

PoorCorrelation t1_j6oh1yf wrote

Nah, he’s fine. But I’m worried this nitpicking might be you trying to find reasons to break off the engagement. Is this really the person you want to marry or are there actual issues?

3

throwawaybrokenh34rt t1_j6okq7v wrote

You sound like anxious attachment. I’d work on that as this is your biggest issue.

He told you “You need to stop overthinking things” and now you’re going “Idk what to think about this”. Of course you don’t because there’s nothing to think about. Stop making problems where they’re aren’t any.

2

AutoModerator t1_j6ofd3s wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.


#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

ckent_11 t1_j6ofvuw wrote

What do you believe? If we are simply judging off of what you told us, your overthinking and insecurities made you believe he was cheating too. Take a minute to reflect on the totality of your relationship. Otherwise, how could we randos know what your fiance really wants?

1

yowen2000 t1_j6ofzf0 wrote

Do you feel this way because of the comment he made.

Or do you feel this way because when you thought about your relationship as a whole and this is the conclusion you came to.

If it's the former, you can drop this, if it's the latter, then it's a problem.

1

Indecks9999 t1_j6oigrq wrote

Overthink again for 1000 Alex

1

SecretHoliday1752 t1_j6oj4qj wrote

You’re still not sure if your fiancé likes you after 4 years? Not even loves you, you’re not sure if he likes you? This is a bigger problem than overthinking.

Why are you planning to get married to someone who’s feelings you’re still questioning ?

1

saclayson t1_j6ojgiu wrote

What are you doing? He must be cheating, nope… He must want me for sex, he likely appreciates your matching sex drives… Keep trying though, you’ll find something…

1