supertaquito t1_j6otxis wrote on January 31, 2023 at 9:09 PM

How anxious do you feel about having sex? Do you think this is some sex performance anxiety, insecurity, or something else making you worry obsessively about sex?

WestGoblin OP t1_j6ovnia wrote on January 31, 2023 at 9:20 PM

I’ve always felt very insecure that I wouldn’t be able to satisfy a woman, and before we had sex i didn't really know if i was ready but i didn't want to hurt my girlfriends feelings. So I would say it’s most likely both insecurity and anxiety.

supertaquito t1_j6oww4x wrote on January 31, 2023 at 9:28 PM

Look, both of you are likely very inexperienced and have super high expectations about what sex should be. This would make anybody nervous, I like the suggestion someone made below about spending time together naked without sex, just getting used to the idea of being vulnerable and curious around each other.

Your girlfriend may be just as anxious as you are. It's very likely that what she does to you may not feel as good as your hand, and vice versa. How would it? Neither of you know what the other one likes and how they like it.

Talk about it, make it something fun. Sex is meant to be fun rather than a chore or a negative experience.

WestGoblin OP t1_j6oyu1l wrote on January 31, 2023 at 9:40 PM

Thank you, I will definitely try this and update within the next month or so.

Northlumberman t1_j6ow7il wrote on January 31, 2023 at 9:24 PM

There’s your answer. Talk to your girlfriend and work out ways to take the pressure off. Maybe just spend some time together naked without having sex. Just so you can get more relaxed.