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ContentedRecluse t1_j6m2b1g wrote

Don't give in to ultimatums, it sets a precedent. He is threatening to end your relationship if you don't do what he wants. That does not sound like love, it sounds like manipulation and coercion.

Do not let him dictate terms to you. A relationship is supposed to be a partnership. He has no right to control you so that he doesn't have to deal with financial hardship. He can find a studio apartment or a trailer to rent.

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Odd-Sock2486 OP t1_j6m2lkq wrote

How can I go about this with him? I know when I told him I can't move in right now, he said he can't wait for me any longer, at the same time the "altimatum" was the first time I've ever heard this from him. I feel under pressure since i only have 2 months to figure it out wich is a big step/stroll on alot of stuff.

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GlacierView8 t1_j6m72md wrote

Consider just telling him that your finances cannot support that rent. And that you are not yet ready to take the step of living with him full time. He will then do whatever he chooses. You have to live a life that works for you.

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ContentedRecluse t1_j6mr2vq wrote

Tell him no. If he is able to threaten to end the relationship if you don't do what he wants and it works. It is likely he will use this tactic again. If he ends the relationship over this then I don't believe he loves you.

You moving in with him is in his best interest, not yours. He is being very self-centered. Everything is about him and what he needs.

His plan to spit the bills is also not fair. It sure does benefit him though. Here is a fairer way to split the bills. https://adamhagerman.com/share-expenses-living-together/

Call his bluff on moving out, if he breaks up with you over this then he doesn't love you. Don't let him put you in a position where he calls the shots because you are desperate to keep the relationship at all costs, and he can throw it away whenever he feels like it.

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