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Crystal010Rose t1_j6m43la wrote

There are 3 issues that I’ll address separately:

  1. His current ultimatum: Yes this sounds like he plans on using you to pay the rent, this has nothing to do with you. I wouldn’t do it. Such moves need to be planned.

  2. Money: imo it’s not fair that he wants you to pay 50/50 or actually even more than that due to electricity when he earns more. It sounds also like you currently can’t afford it. Tell him, state clearly that you can’t and won’t and you two need to figure out a fair and doable split.

  3. Moving in: Do you actually want to live with him? Do you like his current apartment? Think about what you need and tell him your needs. Do you need a home office? If yes, ask where you can set it up and see if the solution is acceptable. Same for space for your stuff, is there enough? It might happen that you both need to move to a different apartment in order to move in together.

And one important question for the issue at hand: has he brought up moving in seriously before the rent was raised? If not, you have your answer and also a lot more info on the relationship. Do not rush this. But if he seems receptive of the 3 issues above and ready to compromise then I’d say you can start making plans to move the relationship forward if it feels right to you- however not with his current conditions. Talk to him.

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Odd-Sock2486 OP t1_j6m5bw1 wrote

I will respond

Yes thank you,

  1. I agree

2.i definitely can not offord it, he lives in a 1 bedroom 1 bath apartment. They are asking $1,400 for a 12 year new lease. I still have my car payments, my health insurance, phone plan, etc. etc.

  1. Do I want to live with him right now? No, Do I want to live with him down the road? Yes, his current apartment is only fit for 1 person, not 2. He does have a full grown Sheppard that sleeps in a huge kennel (takes up alot of space) he never keeps food in his apartment, due to him working alot and never home. If I were to bring all my clothes/furniture/essentials, there would be no where to put any of my stuff. I've had a conversation with him about finding a apartment that is a bit bigger for his needs also, because he does have his family over alot and its super cramped, but ofc he can't offord anything else but where he is at now.

This is the first time I've heard him Brought up this altimatum. The first year we started dating the only serious conversation was that he wanted me to stay over more, and I did.

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