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triaxisman t1_j6mdz3x wrote

Reply to comment by incrediblydope91 in I'm (f29) completely in awe of my fwb appearance (m29) by [deleted]

See my other comment, what you say here proves that point even more.

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incrediblydope91 t1_j6medh6 wrote

Haha I hear you but also I didn't have much physical attraction to my partner before so it kind of just feels like a nice novelty. I respect what you're saying but If I don't want a relationship I'm not scared of being hurt I'm happy just having fun. Everyone thinks being emotionally unavailable is a bad thing based on trauma but I just don't want a boyfriend it's that simple. Yes casual allows me to be close to someone without getting emotionally invested in a relationship but I'm good with that. I had a very secure relationship before this in terms of the guy so I wouldn't settle for less. I know that because it's casual physical is more important to me right nowww because I don't really have to worry much about if their personality fits mine as I don't want a bf! So it feels important to be physically attracted to the person I'm sleeping with for sure. I'm quite reflective on how I feel and I'm very happy being an avoidant while I focus on me and do my thing! I respect everything you've said though , makes sense but yeah I wonder if there are any other perspectives to look at

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triaxisman t1_j6mf7xa wrote

Who said anything about scared? And YOU were the one that said you had disorganized attachment, not me, but now you’re claiming to have secure attachment? Which is it? And I never said any attachment style is bad, thats you projecting your assumptions onto to me, each attachment style has its pros and cons. It’s only bad when it gets in the way of your goals in life or hurts people you’re in relationships with.

Seriously you asked why you’re so physically infatuated and you literally said your last relationship drained you and you want just the physical right now, so seems rather obvious why you’d be more focused and drawn to the physical. But if you want to go on a wild goose hunt for other reasons, I guess more power to you.

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incrediblydope91 t1_j6mjcah wrote

Yeah I do have disorganised attachment and I said when I'm ready for a relationship I'll work on being more secure lol. Ooookaaay thanks for your input!

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triaxisman t1_j6mk4a8 wrote

> and I said when I'm ready for a relationship I'll work on being more secure lol

Lol, oookaaay, not sure why you’re telling me, I really don’t care what you do, I was just answering your question, you were the one taking it like it was criticism.

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