Op. Let me emphasize:. It is not your fault you were abused and assaulted. It is not your fault you had a miscarriage. It is not your fault you had a bad experience with an IUD. You are not a bad person. You are a normal person experiencing a lot of pain that you don't know how to handle. Your boyfriend may have trouble understanding you, and it's wrong of him to talk down to you or criticize you when he can't understand. If you can afford one and if you can find one, I highly recommend seeking a professional therapist who can help you work through your trauma and help you deal with your emotions in a less stressful way. I also recommend going back to your gynecologist to get the IUD removed if you haven't done so already. You do not have to live with that physical pain. If the doctor won't remove it or tries to talk you out of removing it, find another doctor who will take it out. It's ok to try a product and realize you don't like it.