[22M] [22F] I’m being ghosted and feel like shit

Submitted by benzodiazepine_ t3_10qc864 in relationship_advice

Last week I (22M) met an Italian girl (22F) who came to the United States 2 weeks ago on Bumble. We've talked like a week and after that arranged a date. Before the date we have seen each other most naturally (no poses, no effects) on FaceTime. And after FaceTime she texted me "you're so cute I wanna see right now -time was 3am- and sent me a voice msg “I like you but I don’t know if u liked me bla bla”. She was hanging with her friends in Manhattan and wanted to take a train ride to see me to Long Island at that time. I said no because I thought it will be better to see her in a larger time and arranged a meeting for after that day. I asked her to hold her hand while I'm driving and she letted me. I took her to nice restaurant, drank some wine etc. . After the date she said she's available after work in the week and fully free on weekends before I asked. Before I dropped her I asked for a goodbye kiss and just gave me kiss on my cheek. In the morning I texted her "hey I had a nice time, enjoyed your company I wanna see you again if u also like to" and never got respond. She left me on delivered. I'm a bit confused what she didn't like about me. I don't think it's because appearance because we did FaceTime already she was seeming so hyped to meet me. Maybe she's not satisfied of my financial situation. I've been here to different world just for 7 months and I still don't have a classy car. I don't have any financial support after me so I'm tryna get things done by myself. She might be feel uncomfortable because I wanted the things get done faster. I'm pretty new on dating apps and have not lot of experience on dating face to face. I need your help guys to figure out what I’ve done wrong. I think I wanted develop the things so quick

1

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

RoosterPorn t1_j6p5149 wrote

Dating in your early twenties is a wild ride. Sometimes really good connections just drop with no explanation. Don’t think too much about it. Also, idk what your expectations are, but if I was 22 and someone didn’t date me because of my car I’d consider that a bullet dodged.

3

benzodiazepine_ OP t1_j6p57np wrote

It's not bad tho. (Nissan Sentra 2013) I don't know about her expectations

1

RoosterPorn t1_j6p5hwl wrote

Don’t stress over a girl that would take a pass on you because of a 2013 Nissan Sentra. Not saying she did, but I feel like that’s a good rule to live by. The only time a car itself becomes a red flag is if it’s destroyed or filled with trash.

2

DM_ME_YOUR_PET_PICSS t1_j6p5ysb wrote

“Cheater” spay painted on the side?

1

RoosterPorn t1_j6p6f0t wrote

Eh that’s a reason for concern.

1

DM_ME_YOUR_PET_PICSS t1_j6p6l57 wrote

Fuck

1

RoosterPorn t1_j6p6zjp wrote

Not necessarily a red flag though. Maybe your neighbors ex got the wrong car? Maybe your neighbors exes friend got the wrong car? Maybe a drunk person thought it’d be funny? Maybe you ghosted a girl after the first date and she turned out to be crazy? So many possibilities. But if I can’t see the floors of your car due to fast food garbage that points toward serious issues that don’t have a lot of reasonable excuses.

1

benzodiazepine_ OP t1_j6p6l0v wrote

Lol. I think about this possibility because she posted a Insta story in a classy car after that day. Idk whose car is it tho

1

DM_ME_YOUR_PET_PICSS t1_j6p7cxi wrote

Haha, If that’s really the reason you seriously did dodge a bullet.

Nice, good, caring people are not going to ghost someone over 2013 Nisan Sentra.

Good luck, friend!

1

RoosterPorn t1_j6p7p1n wrote

There IS always the possibility that she’s still emotionally a child and has crazy expectations for what is important in life. I don’t know her though. My best advice is to just think of it as a learning experience and take whatever positive things you can from it. I’m 26, and the first 6 years of my twenties were all learning about what I do and don’t want in a relationship. I went through a lot of hard stuff, but I wouldn’t be where I was today if I hadn’t been through those events.

1

BlueBelle2019 t1_j6p7xdt wrote

She just got here. She doesn’t want to commit to anything too fast and too soon. She wants to go out and have fun and explore her new city.

This likely has nothing to do with you.

2

benzodiazepine_ OP t1_j6p8qux wrote

Yea i realized what i did wrong and i'm still mad at myself. i screwed the entire thing and she was so sweet

1

BlueBelle2019 t1_j6p8zf3 wrote

You didn’t do anything wrong! You told her you had a nice time and would like to see her again. That was perfect! That’s why I say it’s about her and not you.

You didn’t do anything wrong!

2

benzodiazepine_ OP t1_j6pb8cp wrote

I knew about her situation. She was always make me feel that she's so new here and came from small town in Italy. I was aware but nevertheless played the game wrong

1

AutoModerator t1_j6p4h5s wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1