19F and 44M

Submitted by tushitouuu t3_10pfuva in relationship_advice

im 19f and hes 44m pls help meeee

so I’ve been talking to this guy for the past few weeks and we had sex and everything and it’s really good, but there are a few icks and I don’t know what to do. First of all, he hasn’t seriously dated someone in 10 years, so he just fucks a bunch of women on and off and the youngest he has been with before me was 26, so not that young… I don’t mind having a fuck buddy thing but I mind it when for example I come over, and he barely says three sentences to me before he starts tryna fuck. It feels like he just sees me as a dumb 19 year old that he can fuck and he is not interested in anything that I have to say. he is a gentleman though, and it takes me out and shit but lately it’s just been me going over to his place having sex and then leaving. I’m wondering if I should bring this up or if it’s not worth it. I’m also trying to see what this might be for him from a man’s point of view. and he has a company and works a lot of hours so I understand that he’s not always able to give me time, but just like the bare minimum would be good lol

0

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

temporarilysux t1_j6k5zu7 wrote

>It feels like he just sees me as a dumb 19 year old that he can fuck and he is not interested in anything that I have to say.

Guess why it feels like that

40

Kill_The_Dinosaurs t1_j6k64yg wrote

>It feels like he just sees me as a dumb 19 year old that he can fuck and he is not interested in anything that I have to say

It feels this way because it is this way.

>I’m wondering if I should bring this up or if it’s not worth it

It's not worth it. You should end things - he's using you and he's a creep.

EDIT: I don't think you're dumb ... I think he's seeing things that way and that you hit the nail on the head about how he views you and how it's made things feel.

34

tushitouuu OP t1_j6k72uf wrote

yea i think we just want different things, i dont mind being sex friends and tbh the sex is really good but i just wish he was kinda more into me as a person lol

−6

fireheart337 t1_j6kaolw wrote

Perfectly normal to want a sexual partner to want you just as much as they want your body. Your time and energy is worth more than just sex <3

3

PeachDream1 t1_j6k6594 wrote

Unless you enjoy being treated like a piece of meat, end it.

And since you wrote this, I'm guessing you don't enjoy it.

19

Sufficient_Natural_7 t1_j6k8139 wrote

He’s taking advantage of you, it’s that plain and simple. And you know it.

17

tushitouuu OP t1_j6k87dq wrote

i mean i dont really think so bc i am like giving out full on consent so i dont see how:/ explain

−7

Alarmed-Size3129 t1_j6k9hyx wrote

You are a 19 year old who doesn't know that him treating you like shit is something you're allowed to say no to. He picked you not because he thinks you're special (which you are!) but because he knows you won't stand up because you don't have the experience to tell that something is deeply, deeply off about all of this. Ditch the creep

7

Sufficient_Natural_7 t1_j6kan94 wrote

Not sure where to begin, from your inexperience to the power dynamic he has. Most likely love bombing and other forms of manipulation, and for some reason he’s complaining a teenager (you) is acting like a teenager.

With age gaps there’s always a general rule; there’s a reason they go for younger and that’s because people their own age won’t deal/accept the bs they’re putting them through. People their age see through their bs.

3

kitkatquak t1_j6k8s7a wrote

He’s not a gentleman. He’s a predator

12

No_Copy_5473 t1_j6k81br wrote

You don’t know what to do, because you are still a teenager, who is dating a senior citizen.

Gross. Stop.

8

Kilyth t1_j6k8zrp wrote

Mid 40s isn't quite OAP territory. But he is old enough to be her dad, and that's gross.

4

777777777777777p t1_j6k7g8m wrote

Yeah girl, you understood everything. If you hate it just cut off contact

7

spoookyhalloween t1_j6k69dx wrote

Hiii. I do think he is just trying to fuck a young 19 year old. Which is gross. You deserve someone who is actually interested in you for YOU and not just because you’re young and willing to have sex with him. He’s probably not interested in what you have to say because you’re INCREDIBLY young and cannot relate on many things. Please try dating and fucking someone around your age. 44 years old and fucking around with someone barely out of high school is really really really gross.

5

themanfromUNCLE100 t1_j6k6aye wrote

Have some respect for yourself and get a boyfriend your age who's actually interested in you and not your body. Why would you want to be with a guy who is old enough to be your father. Do you have daddy issues? Leave the relationship.

4

Kilyth t1_j6k8ol0 wrote

"It feels like he just sees me as a dumb 19 year old that he can fuck and he is not interested in anything that I have to say"

It feels like that because that's what it is.

This guy is a massive creep. Get away from him ASAP. Men do not get with women nearly half their age because she's so mature for her age, they do it because you're naive and easy to manipulate, and women their own age won't touch them.

2

pspisy t1_j6k9i58 wrote

>It feels like he just sees me as a dumb 19 year old that he can fuck and he is not interested in anything that I have to say.

...yes. Absolutely, yes.

You're not dumb, you're just young and inexperienced. He took you out enough times for you to think he's a gentleman, but in reality, he's a pathetic old man and women his age won't entertain his bullshit so he goes for younger women who tend to be more permissive of this type of shit behavior.

Unless he's gonna buy you a car or something just leave.

2

shrimpfajita t1_j6kcke5 wrote

You’ve got to be joking. Cmon now. I’m 30 and he’s still too old.

2

Malibucat48 t1_j6kerui wrote

It’s called a booty call. You go to his place for sex only and leave. It’s not even friends with benefits because he doesn’t see you as a friend. So, yes, you are being used by a man old enough to be your father. You are worth more than that. And if you want a FWB, get a hot young guy. And he wants a 19 year old to be mature? Come on, if you were mature you wouldn’t be with this POS.

2

tushitouuu OP t1_j6kf55w wrote

yes a booty call exactly, and I think I’m just gonna tell him that personally it doesn’t work out for me and it’s not something that I want right now I can’t really hold him accountable for something because he never told me that we were anything so I just kind of got ahead of myself lol

1

AutoModerator t1_j6k5s05 wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

kristerxx68 t1_j6ksjhk wrote

Don’t walk, run! If he was a good man you’d never have met him.

1

tushitouuu OP t1_j6k8rav wrote

also failed to mention he keeps telling me to act mature and shit and i feel like i cant bring up anything bc otherwise he’ll see me as immature and childish. and i really did want him to like me for me (bc ngl i kinda like him) i dressed older and acted more mature, but i think inevitably from day one he sees me just as like a really young girl he can fuck but i’d loooove to be wrong bahhaha

0

brainonvacation78 t1_j6k999r wrote

You aren't wrong. He doesn't like you for you. He likes you cuz you put out.

3