I am the one who is 44 he is 26.We would talk about pretty much everything. We were co-workers as well. My best friend and I and as well as him, would go out after work every other week to drink and hang out. Over the time we had been hanging out as friends and talking about our lives and past relationships, I fell in love with him. Because of our age difference, I was never going to say anything. One evening, while we were all out, he made a physically suggestive gesture, and like I said, we were all drinking. That night, we ended up messing around. Things were weird at work after that. We finally ended up going out to talk about it and ended up having sex. Things at work got awkward again. Probably about a month later, we all went out again. I ended up admitting I was in love with him. That night, we ended up having sex again. He told me he didn't want a relationship, and I did understand that. But I was already in over my head for him. At one point, I ended up asking if he wanted to be FWB he said he doesn't do that. After that, though, we would all go out every month to six weeks. Every time, we ended up in bed. He kept saying he wanted things to go back to the way they were, and I was like, fine, I won't put my hands on you if you don't touch me. Well, he didn't keep his hands off me. For the longest time, he was the aggressor. Lately, it has been mostly me I won't lie about that. Like I said, there has always been drinking involved except the last time it happened, which was earlier this month. Like I said, he has always said he doesn't want a relationship. He has also said that if he did, he would be with me. He kept using the alcohol for an excuse for why he was sleeping with me, but how long can that be an excuse? This has been going on for over a year now. He has known I want more this whole time. He would say things about me to our friends or sometimes try to say nothing happened. While alone with me, though, he has always been a completely different person. He has even told me he has feelings for me. Every time I start to try and move on, that's when he pops back up. I know it's not fair when he was clear about not wanting a relationship to hope he would change his mind, but with him knowing I love him and it going on for over a year I kept thinking he would change his mind. I want to move on, but I can't seem to get over him. I have even quit that job for him because he told people I made him uncomfortable, and I didn't want to do that to him. Yet, during all this, he was still coming to my bed. It has been about a month since the last time we were together, which means he is due to want to get together sometime in the next 2 weeks. I don't know what to do or how to handle it. So what do I do? At this point, I don't know if one of us or both of us are at fault advice, please.