It's understandable that you want to help her but tryna set her up w/o her knowing might not be the way to go. That could backfire and make her feel even more betrayed. It's all about trust, bro.

She's probs still hurt from what happened w/ your dad and that's why she's not interested in dating. 20 yrs is a long time to be alone but it's also a long time to get over a traumatic experience.

Maybe try talking to her about it, see if she's open to the idea of getting back out there. If she's still not interested, then it's probs best to respect her wishes and not push it.

But if she does open up to the idea, maybe consider getting a professional involved like a therapist to help her work through the trauma and help her get back in the dating game.

Just remember, be there for her and support her no matter what. Hope this helps, bro.