My husband (31M) is treating me (31F) bad but says he's not mad at me.

Submitted by cnthcltr t3_10qbg5x in relationship_advice

Yesterday night we have a fight, and slept in bad terms. Today morning I said I was sorry about the fight, and cooked him a nice lunch, treated him really well, I bought his favourite beverage. He said everything is ok but he is treating me like shit. When I ask why he's treating me like this he says he is completely normal and fine.

I'm losing my mind because I don't know what to do. If he's still mad, why he doesn't say anything? Why is he saying everything is normal yet he's not behaving as usual?

Please help!

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Fuzzy-Constant t1_j6pa8ry wrote

Why are you trying to fix it if he's the one with the problem? You should tell him that you're not OK with the silent treatment and if he wants to have a talk like a grown-up he should let you know. You don't have to cook for him and buy him stuff when he's acting like a child. You're just encouraging him.

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cnthcltr OP t1_j6paxd7 wrote

I thought about that too, I keep encouraging this kind of behavior by being like this. I'm someone desperate for everything be in good terms :(

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Pleasant-Excuse-2530 t1_j6p2x0z wrote

How immature. The silent treatment? Jeez he sounds like he is 5

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Jmm1272 t1_j6p057m wrote

What did you say when he told you he’s normal? Did you say no you’re not, something is different?

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cnthcltr OP t1_j6p0k76 wrote

I did! He said that there's nothing wrong still. It's driving me crazy. He's giving me the silent treatment.

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Jmm1272 t1_j6p5l1c wrote

I suggest asking what you can do

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cnthcltr OP t1_j6pairi wrote

I did and he said that there was nothing to do because he's not mad.

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Excellent_Care1859 t1_j6pj8zk wrote

Maybe just try leaving him alone. Stop pushing him to talk about it. Some people need more time to process their feelings or to move on from negative emotions. You pushing him is probably making it worse.

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Jmm1272 t1_j6p0a9y wrote

He’s clearly still upset so you need to discuss it more

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HatsAndTopcoats t1_j6p1tc8 wrote

Since what he says is meaningless, stop paying attention to it. What do you want to do about the fact that he's treating you like shit?

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cnthcltr OP t1_j6p2hm4 wrote

I tried to talk to him, but he doesn't want to. He keeps saying he's fine and he's treating me normal. I wish we talk about it and solve the issue.

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HatsAndTopcoats t1_j6p3em7 wrote

And he's telling you he isn't going to talk about it or acknowledge what's going on. So are you going to sit there and accept being treated like garbage?

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cnthcltr OP t1_j6p3lvh wrote

What can I do? Because I really don't know what to do.

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HatsAndTopcoats t1_j6p4kng wrote

Decide that you don't want a marriage like that, and make it clear to him that if that's what he wants, you will make other plans.

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diagnosedwolf t1_j6p2aw9 wrote

When you say he’s treating you badly, what is he doing?

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cnthcltr OP t1_j6p2yvr wrote

He's giving me the silent treatment. I tried to talk normally and he just doesn't talk to me. If I'm at the bedroom, he leaves and spend time in another room so he doesn't have to be around me.

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diagnosedwolf t1_j6p391k wrote

What happened during the fight? Did you say anything very hurtful?

Could it be that he’s still processing his emotions after the fight? Sometimes a person needs a little more time to get over something, even if they accept an apology.

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cnthcltr OP t1_j6p4eya wrote

He was mad at me last night because I asked him to stop banging his leg on the bed because it was waking me up. Then he proceeded to sleep in the couch. I went after him and said that he he was behaving like a child and it was unnecessary, that he should come back to bed, but he didn't. And woke up like this.

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