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nothanksandthensome t1_j6oelp1 wrote

To me, it sounds plainly like he is just not over his ex-girlfriend.

The fact that he calls you immature just for bringing it up and uses phrasing such as "other women don't have an issue with it" suggests that he is the one being immature here.

What "other women"? Why do these other women's feelings seemingly take precedence over yours, the person he is currently dating? And if you're the only woman in his whole vicinity to question his interactions with his ex-girlfriend, why isn't he dating one of those other women instead?

I'm not at all suggesting that he has any specific women in mind, but people who use this line of argument are usually people who are in the wrong and can't think of anything better to say. If it were me, I would think I deserve more than to be compared to a bunch of unspecified women who probably don't exist and whose opinions anyway have no relevance.

Edit: missing word

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canyouaskfirst OP t1_j6oukmz wrote

Thank you so much for your thorough response. I really appreciate it.

I guess we were both on dating websites and talked about who we were dating while we were also dating each other. I do agree though that if there are people out there that he aligns on this matter, he should be with them rather than choosing to be with me and complaining. I agree that it is an unnecessary comparison and a way to distract from my feelings.

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nothanksandthensome t1_j6p2j5z wrote

It's absolutely a way to distract you from your feelings.

Again, I really don't believe your boyfriend is thinking of anyone in particular when he says "other women don't have an issue with it". It's just an excuse he throws out there to feel more justified in continuing his inappropriate behaviour. It's like when a man is called out for cat-calling and claims "none of the other women I yelled inappropriate things at ever complained to me about it".

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