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MckittenMan t1_j6ik956 wrote

  • My partner and I have had an on and off relationship for the last 5 years
  • The house is 5 minutes from his job, it is about 2 hours from my job and friends/family
  • I feel like I’m making a lot of sacrifices for us to live together
  • I do all of the chores around the house such as laundry and dishes cleaning etc.
  • He makes double my income
  • He insists he also wants to split the rent 50-50 which I don’t feel is fair

Your reletionship has a lot of holes in it. Please postpone this idea for now:

>he bought an engagement ring, we will soon be engaged

You should be focusing on making your relationship something you're happy to exist in. Do not go into an engagement unhappy.

A ring isn't going to solve problems.

It's just locking you into the unhappiness.

Please correct these things and ensure the two of you are capable of understanding each-other and giving compromises.

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Anon1828272 t1_j6iouva wrote

Thank you. Do you have any advice for how best to approach negotiating this again? I get bad anxiety talking about finances or things like that when I know it’s going against what he wants because I hate confrontations

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MckittenMan t1_j6ishm2 wrote

>when I know it’s going against what he wants because I hate confrontations

I am sorry, but you cannot be afraid of upsetting your partner.

Remember. This is YOUR reletionship as well. You have a right to your voice and having your opinion taken into consideration.

Your reletionship has to be constructed in a way that you agree with and also works for you.

If every time you try to address something that you don't like, and it results in him winning the 'conflict'... then you stop focusing on that independent issue, and start focusing on the lack of compromise and willingness to value your opinion.

If he refuses to work on his ability to compromise, then the reletionship is dysfunctional. You've been officially silenced in the reletionship, unequal power distribution.

The above issue is the more severe problem in your reletionship.

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