> I asked off-handedly if her parents were proud of her as I scooped up scrambled eggs at the conference center walk-in breakfast and she seemed surprised as if she'd never been asked that particular question

Wtf? You asking for advice or practicing creative writing? There is just so much unneeded detail here (scooping eggs?!?), not going to waste anymore time reading past that. Stop obsessing over the new girl, most likely you have a crush on her because she has what you want in your life, so go back and work to develop that in your relationship with your wife, in yourself or with platonic friends. If you’ve done more than talk to this new girl (affection or emotional investment) you’re cheating or getting dangerously close so knock that shit off.