Submitted by cleverocks t3_z3xkau in rva

Since last night was the biggest drinking night of the year me, my brothers, and sisters went to Buddy’s to have a few.

I came home really drunk and my wife wasn’t happy at all. “How much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me. “Nothing” I slurred. “Look at me!” she shouted. “It’s either me or the pub, which one is it?” I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled, “It’s you. I can tell by the voice.”

79

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

IntrepidDreams t1_ixo5wes wrote

A young man who worked at a grocery store had just finished stocking the turkeys in the freezer when a woman approached and asked, “Excuse me, do these turkeys get any bigger?”

“No ma’am,” he replied. “These turkeys are dead."

74

arolet t1_ixoikmu wrote

I’m on Ocracoke Island drinking pomegranate martinis! However, I feel for everybody having a difficult holiday. I have a relatively broken family and am all too familiar with how hard it can be. Luckily this year has been smooth for us so far but my heart goes out to those less fortunate

38

Vapid_Ingenue t1_ixpujil wrote

When I was a child I was told a story of how Ocracoke Island got its name. Apparently during the Puritan times a lot of people were put to death for supposed witchery, and one of the methods was to hang them from a cross on the shoreline, pierce their midsection, and essentially starve them to death. When the person died, crows would come and pluck their eyeballs out. People on the cross would be suffering so badly, in such misery and agony, that they would cry out, "Oh caw, crow!" because they wanted to die and end their pain.

Now, as an adult with Internet access, I realize my dad was full of shit

7

[deleted] t1_ixq5nox wrote

It's funny you say that because when we went to Kill Devil Hills this summer my son asked about the names so we looked it up and there were a bunch of speculative stories as to why they came up with the name and none of them really made sense so I made up my own reason lol

2

ohsweetpeaches t1_ixovvzr wrote

My MIL went on an absolute tirade about how she deserves presents after we asked if this year we skip the adults gift exchange for Christmas due to our lack of extra funds. Then she said how last year our gifts weren’t very good anyways and we should have tried harder this year. WTF? Thanks for ruining Thanksgiving you fucking loser. I can’t imagine responding with anything but kindness and understanding if one day my daughter asked to skip gifts. Jesus.

37

needsexyboots t1_ixp3fru wrote

Well I guess on the bright side you can skip buying gifts for her permanently!

19

ohsweetpeaches t1_ixqecvn wrote

Right? I told my husband I ain’t getting her shit ever again 🌟

6

__looking_for_things t1_ixp5eig wrote

You could always talk about not doing gifts at all. In my family only children get gifts 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

4

ohsweetpeaches t1_ixqeb40 wrote

That’s kind of what we were going for, but our daughter is the only child in the whole group. His mom basically said she waits all year for us to buy gifts for her, it’s so weird. It’s a toxic relationship that probably won’t be tolerated much longer.

3

NoFanksYou t1_ixqp6vl wrote

That’s really terrible. Sorry she’s your MIL

2

gracetw22 t1_ixof5e5 wrote

In case anyone else wanted to know, all the emergency vets in town are full.

34

coconut_sorbet t1_ixoltjg wrote

I'm sorry that you know that. :( Fingers crossed for you and your pet!

13

gracetw22 t1_ixoslc5 wrote

I think she will be ok she’s just in pain and I hate to not be able to do anything about it. Got her all snuggled up though.:(

11

Asterion7 t1_ixoogyl wrote

Ugh. I'm sorry about that. Fingers crossed for you.

2

[deleted] t1_ixoahiq wrote

[deleted]

29

Vajama77 t1_ixor85n wrote

Well I made a whole 10 lb turkey buttermilk brined and roasted that you're welcome to have I only took a few slices out of it and I've been trying to figure out what I'm going to do with the rest of it. I also made an excellent stuffing I have a huge pan of it I've only eaten a portion because I wanted to make sure it tasted okay and it's fabulous and you're welcome to have both of these. If interested, I can send you the recipe I used so you can see what's in it. I'm in Woodland Heights.

17

JosefDerArbeiter t1_ixodpj7 wrote

Wawa is open

8

zorak_robert t1_ixoinfu wrote

I would trade any thanksgiving I've ever had to eat a steak sub behind the dumpster at a wawa. MMMmmm that hoagie bun and those grilled onions yum yum.

8

Edree13 t1_ixp3lte wrote

Turkey bowl with mashed potatoes for LIFE

2

adognamedgoat t1_ixolarj wrote

I saw Beauvine will be open 6 pm -2 am.

5

NephrologyNoob t1_ixp7u82 wrote

Can verify that Beauvine is open till 2 am. I just door dashed around 10 pm. Vegetarian options available. Like you can build ur own burger.. I live alone and this was probably the best meal I had today ! :)

1

Asterion7 t1_ixoa3in wrote

Too much pie. I'm a gonna die.

28

KiloLee t1_ixokyhz wrote

First time hosting Thanksgiving at my house for my parents, and even though they cooked 95% of everything and brought it with them, it was still kind of cool. Very very small gathering, very enjoyable, and no drama whatsoever. Had a couple beers, ate some food, played some cornhole, overall good time.

Hopefully all is well with the rest of you, and for those not having such a great time, I hope it gets better soon.

22

Legitimate-Rooster-9 t1_ixom73b wrote

Signed up to work on thanksgiving for the first time in my life. Didn’t have to work my ass off in the kitchen. My angelic Dad brought me and the entire station dinner. Ran a few calls and watched soccer all day. This is 👌🏼

20

Wa_wa_ouija t1_ixq59fb wrote

Loved working on Thanksgiving. Gimme that double time, good food, less bullshit calls and we usually run a fire. I'm all for it.

3

BurkeyTurger t1_ixokx1d wrote

Relieved to be back home. I have nothing positive to say about today other than the food was fine. Happy for the people that had good family days, cherish it.

18

popeboyQ t1_ixobbil wrote

Trivial pursuit, football, food, family, and pot. It's been a good day and I never had to leave the house.

14

__looking_for_things t1_ixoom4z wrote

Had a solo Thanksgiving (even put the poodle in boarding for the night 🐩). Cooked myself my own Thanksgiving meal and even though it was just me, I still ended up with too much food. Got to test some new recipes and all around very happy with the result. Played Fire Emblem for most of the day 🔥

13

Vajama77 t1_ixorfg6 wrote

Same. Made an entire turkey and a pan of stuffing. I will never eat it all... but I love to cook and try new recipes. My stuffing turned out great. So did the turkey 🦃.

4

Soloemilia t1_ixomn9l wrote

In an effort to have a low-key Thanksgiving, we got Ukrops Thanksgiving and it was… Not great to be honest. So I’m a little disappointed, but it was good company. Nobody argued about politics or anything like that. Just relaxing now

11

geneb0322 t1_ixoo0nf wrote

So much food. I enjoy thanksgiving food probably more than most, but I am not looking forward to eating it every day for the next week or more.

8

Asterion7 t1_ixoowc6 wrote

I honestly think it's better leftover.

7

geneb0322 t1_ixourip wrote

I'll definitely enjoy it for a few days, but we'll need to eat it much longer than that. The kids didn't seem to care for any of it (except the sweet potato biscuits) so it's basically just going to be my wife and I.

1

CapWV t1_ixqixrq wrote

Last time I cooked Thanksgiving I took meal prep containers and made little thanksgiving meals. Turkey, gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, veggies. Then froze them for quick lunches or dinners. Loved having it every few weeks instead of every day for a week!!

1

geneb0322 t1_ixqu2m5 wrote

I have been thinking about vacuum sealing a bunch of it to freeze and have a couple of months from now. That may be a good solution.

1

baby_armadillo t1_ixoy1pd wrote

My dad died last year. Thanks for the groan-worthy dad joke.

8

Amandasch44 t1_ixovnp5 wrote

ate some brownies and don't really remember what else.

7

adognamedgoat t1_ixolr75 wrote

Quiet Thanksgiving at home with my boys and our doggy. Just ate a piece of Whisk chocolate pecan pie, which was tasty and chock full o nuts.

Rest of the night will be watching the Vikes game with a bourbon (or two) and trying not to think about work. Drama free day for us!

6

Daemonrealm t1_ixp6ww2 wrote

Catered from fresh market. For the price I can’t believe how much food we got. It would of been at the least 2x more money to just buy the ingredients and about 6 hours of work. Very good meal will get it again

5

rologies t1_ixosub0 wrote

Not quite turkey related but anyone have recommendations for 1 on 1 dogsitting?

He's a bit reactive so I'd like to work with whoever they are to get him friendly with them and make sure it's a good fit if possible. His current dogsitter put both of us in a bad situation so trying to find someone new for him.

4

rvauofrsol t1_ixp0pja wrote

If you live in the Fan or Museum District, I recommend Kenny Williams, The Fan Sitter . He was great with our reactive dog.

Edit: if you need behavioral help, Edie Larson (Hounds in Hand is amazing. She will come to your house and spend so much time with you that I don't even know how she makes money. But she does it the right way, by teaching you how to teach your dog and make your dog comfortable (i.e., no unethical methods!).

3

rologies t1_ixp2m19 wrote

What kind of tools does Edie use? I've looked into trainers but haven't found any that don't use some sort of punishment.

2

rvauofrsol t1_ixqr3c1 wrote

No punishment at all from Edie! No yelling, no shock collars, nothing scary, nothing to make our dog fearful. Our dog was a stray who was picked up when he was 10. He bit. He didn't even growl. With Edie's help, we went from him biting us to him LOVING to have us scratch his face.

She taught us how to teach our pup that we were (gently and compassionately!) in control and he was safe. Our dog had major resource guarding issues, so one of the first things we worked on was "leave it" and "take it" with his food.

It took a lot of work to get that poor pup into a good place mentally but it was one of the most rewarding things I've ever done. He had been abused for a decade, but his final 3 years were happy and safe. He even learned how to play.

3

KJ19912018 t1_ixqg0wi wrote

Best Life Dog Services, Canine Adventure, and Lucky Dogs don't use any aversive tools or methods for training

2

rvauofrsol t1_ixr9z18 wrote

Oh, and once you wrap up training sessions Edie includes free follow-up via phone for life. It's remarkable.

1

zensucht0 t1_ixp2njh wrote

Solo Thanksgiving. Holiday season blows goats. But I binge watched Wednesday and ate ice cream, so, you know, typical Thursday.

2