I foster neonatal orphan kittens and I just recently had to let go of my 18 yr old senior kitty. Between the two they are both extremely difficult but nothing compares to the first time I ever lost a kitten. It was an extreme tragedy, despite my best efforts her chances of survival were basically nothing. She danced on the knifes edge between life and death, with barely a drop of blood in her body after being absolutely infested with fleas, and it was a miracle she lasted for a week after that. But still, the hope and optimism the shelter and I both felt about her fight for her life made it to this date the worst loss I have ever experienced. Particularly because she passed while I was taking a one hour nap after a brutal week with barely any sleep. It took me a very long time to accept that it wasn't my fault.

I still can't name any kittens with names that start with P. Someday I'd like to but not yet.