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SinVerguenza04 t1_irukzt8 wrote


MrBubbles226 t1_irun8ua wrote

It's somewhat comforting that it's 30% nurture in their opinion even if it's just one data point. Gives me hope for other people who are caught up in that cycle.


SinVerguenza04 t1_irunh2e wrote

Yeah, but I should say while he wasn’t sexually or physically abused, he did raise himself as a parent died when he was 5, and the other one went back to school and then worked all the time. So, he basically raised himself. I guess that could be considered abuse in some way.


MrBubbles226 t1_irunqe6 wrote

Definitely neglect at least. Neglect and abuse cause damage in similar ways.


SinVerguenza04 t1_iruo38z wrote

Yeah, I’d agree with that! But despite being a sociopath, he’s always been very helpful to me and spent a great deal of time tutoring me when I was in college for free. I think I’m his longest lasting friendship. But it’s been very interesting seeing him grow up and mature. We’ve been friends for over a decade now, and when we were younger his disorder definitely came across. Now that we’re in our 30s, he’s chilled out a lot. I’m not sure how to articulate it other than him at 25 and 35 are pretty different.


MrBubbles226 t1_irv1ak3 wrote

When young people are abused or neglected, it can be hard for their minds to come to terms with the reality of it.

Many reenact the behavior. That's why you often hear of the abused becoming abusers. Reenacting gives then some sense of control again, and tries to make the reality make sense to them.

But as they grow older, like your friend, the brain develops, and perception becomes better. They have a chance of catching themselves and changing for the better, like your friend.

Some do, and some don't. Imo it explains a lot of the people in prison. They were not able to catch themselves, so society eventually had to.