Same. A lot of what I’ve read about avoidant attachement focuses on the role of parental figures but I honestly trace it more to my early social life. I grew up idolizing my best friend, who always had a way of getting people together wether it was planned in advance or a spur of the moment hangout. When I tried to mimic him and invite people to do something I thought would be fun, i wound up going alone. eventually I stopped bothering to invite people because disappointment would ruin the thing I’d been looking forward to.

I’ve moved on and met new friends who are reliable, but i still get nervous about asking someone for help and spend most of my time on my own.

When they were still a thing I would only write in pencil in my address book, because I expected addresses and phone numbers to change constantly. I moved 9 times within the same small city growing up. My bio dad was dodging child support so he changed information faster than I outgrew clothes. My mom would change our phone number while I was at school because she was mad at a boyfriend. So I felt like it was on me to keep track of people and let them know how to reach us, she never did wonder how people always got our new number.

I basically parented my younger sister, and then when I graduated I had to move out and our mom moved states with her. There are very few people I trust because of that and many other situations.

I hope you get a solid group of people you can trust and learn to manage your boundaries in a healthy way.

I completely understand! Upon reading this post…it seems the premise here is that feeling appreciated can help folks shift from Avoiding to Prosocial behaviors; which are considered more favorable in nurturing relationships. I guess I really do, do things to just appease rather than benefit some relationships where I have experienced less than consistent returns.