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RubyRaven907 t1_iww70sq wrote

Reply to comment by coyote-1 in Psychologists demonstrate why feeling appreciated is particularly important for avoidantly attached individuals by chrisdh79

I don’t think (for me) it’s about compliments but ACKNOWLEDGING EFFORT. Example: I ALWAYS thank the cook of a meal. I acknowledge their effort. So it makes me resentful and less inclined to make an effort when my teenage boys and husband slurp up a beautiful meal…and don’t acknowledge…ANYTHING? Not a thank you?

If I do a nice thing for someone and they don’t acknowledge it…I tend to not invest effort in them again. I’m not “mad” at them…I’ve just now learned my lesson that they are a poor relationship investment. I might try again if I’m aware they’re not in a good position emotionally but I’m careful.

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Ambitious_Medium_625 t1_iwx6ema wrote

Personally, I've learnt not to expect anything from anyone like a "thank you" when doing something nice for them. But it doesn't matter to me because I don't think people are required to do anything in return for acts of generosity, although I try to my hardest to return the favour and be thankful when someone does something nice to me.

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