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t92k t1_iwz2g3p wrote

If you identify with the “avoidently attached” part of this article then you should be aware you are going to bring that to therapy too. For me, my therapist was the first person in my life who was always where she said she was going to be when she said she’d be there. That allowed me to become attached — within the boundaries of a professional counseling relationship. From there we worked on disproving the belief that my parents (school, medical professionals) were bad to me because they all knew I was broken and I deserved it. That was a process of telling stories that seemed to support the belief and then looking at those same events from other perspectives so I can stop blaming myself. Eventually I was able to believe I’m a person who deserves attachment. I still have patterns where I proactively detach from relationships, or see rejection in absent-mindedness, but I have a lot more tools and a lot less anger than I used to.


Zephyr-2210 t1_ix2s7oo wrote

I mostly identify with anxious attached but all the hurt I've experienced also might be making me very untrusting and avoidant too, unsure if that defines me as also avoidant or not. I've got no issue with my current therapist themselves, other than I don't really know what else to talk about because I don't really feel like much has been resolved.


t92k t1_ix62kfn wrote

It might be worth bringing that up. I was in "cognitive behavioral therapy" so we had the goal of changing my beliefs about my place in the world. You may be in a different kind.