During COVID right at the beginning I got laid off by my employer. For 3 months, my partner and I both were paid to be home (in Canada we had the CERB, which was $2k per month). It was..wonderful. But there was this tiny bell that rang in my head while I was off that said “you can’t go back to that.” So I applied for a masters degree. The idea was, if they didn’t call me back, or if they did, I’d have to do that forever. And no cell in my body could handle that reality. So I made the choice, threw myself into more debt, but hoped for a better future.

They called me back to work eventually. So I went back, of course. And the 6 months following I got very depressed. Depressed and suicidal. Eventually my coworker convinced me to go to the doctor, and I did. They gave me a note and a prescription, I found a psychotherapist, and for a whole year I worked on myself so I could understand how I got to be suicidal.

I went back into the workforce a new person. But I had that opportunity. Not everyone does. Mental health is health - it should be treated as such. If you hurt yourself you need time to heal, this is the same for your mind.

But anyways, being off was the catalyst for my depression because being off made me realize how unhappy I was. It was a huge turning point in my life. While it hurt at the time, today I’m grateful for it.