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Literatelady t1_j0029v1 wrote

Reply to comment by Wagamaga in Frequently using digital devices to soothe young children may backfire. The habit of using devices to manage difficult behavior strengthens over time as media demands strengthen as well. The more often devices are used, the less practice children - get to use other coping strategies by Wagamaga

This is really interesting but it makes me wonder about the other distraction techniques we use with children. I was babysitting my nephew and he started crying his eyes out for his mom so I tried to comfort him but I could see he was getting more and more agitated so I used the good old distraction technique. "Hey bud, you excited for Christmas? What are you hoping to get from Santa?" I wonder if that's also problematic. My mom did this all the time to me as a child (distraction) and I wonder if that's why I'm so bad at processing or dealing with emotions.

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helm t1_j0169qg wrote

No, distraction is good. What you did was distraction by shifting attention of thought, not by one specific external thing (screen entertainment). Distracting with snacks also works short term, but leads to problems long term (snacking as a coping strategy).

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TheRiverOtter t1_j020fpu wrote

> snacking as a coping strategy

This is the one my wife struggles with. Her family always had lots of sweets around when she was growing up. Rewards for good behavior and pacification were done through food.

We're being extremely deliberate with our twins about rewards being extra "one-on-one time" going on adventures or playing with mom or dad. We still do sweets and screen time, just not in connection with behavioral triggers. When they are upset we make a point to talk through the emotions.

We do have a hidden stash of kids books in our closet that we use as bribes / rewards when absolutely necessary (getting over the fear of a doctor visit), which has baffled other parents that we can "get away with bribing our kids with books".

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JamesRobertWalton t1_j02z9bo wrote

Nah, a distraction like that can be good for a young child, so long as it’s not the only technique you use over time. A young child crying over their parent not being present is just a sign of separation anxiety. It’s nothing like giving a misbehaving child a reward (mobile device) to make them stop misbehaving (which is what I think the parents in the study were often doing), though one still shouldn’t give a child a mobile device, as the study states it likely stunts a child’s ability to cope with certain emotions. I’ve known many adults who have undergone immense emotional stress over an event & they often find a distraction in a project or hobby. It may not be perfect, but it helps keep them from dwelling on the stressful event &/or doing something extreme.

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