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Iffykindofguy t1_j7n8015 wrote

You are 100% right about being forced to work to live in America, its some bullshit. The rest, I'd maybe consult with family on. Your brain might be giving you some trouble today or maybe you're just having a bad moment, either way if you have anyone you can reach out to, now is a good time! Have a good evening

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Brashendeavours t1_j7nfkxd wrote

You aren’t forced to work.

You are forced to exchange money with other people for “things you want/need”.

If you don’t have money, then yes you will need to work.

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Ginkotree48 t1_j7nzc5a wrote

I've literally been exactly where you are. Trust me, get psychiatric help. You can do this either by asking family or making an appointment to talk about these thoughts and what you've been going through.

Eventually they will prescribe you meds. You have to trust that they are helping you. I took a leap of faith and it took me from wanting to die to being the happiest ive ever been.

Im serious. I want you to get help like I did because looking back, I didn't stand a chance on my own I was so convinced. Its confusing, but you have to trust people want to help you.

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vom2r750 t1_j7omwpd wrote

In what way your perception or beliefs changed to make you the happiest?

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Ginkotree48 t1_j7on9zh wrote

I wasn't able to work. I was failing school. I was constantly paranoid and scared and trying to figure out the universes messages to me. The tv talked to me the radio talked to me. All of that went away. I felt more comfortable, and I stopped having delusions, and psychotic episodes.

Before you get help with your schizophrenia its terrifying. And most people have horrible assumptions about schizophrenia. But its one of the most easily treatable psychiatric illnesses. You will unfortunately always have to take your meds but you are normal again. I still think weird things but I am in control and love my life now.

You have absolutely zero idea how horrible you actually feel until you get treated. It sucks because for a bit it feels like life truly is magical and unknown or that you have powers but being able to actually live your life and be with family or friends or work a job is such a good feeling after being so low. I literally smile and take in scenery around me almost every day because 2 years ago I was suicidal thinking if I went through with it Id ascend to another world or something. I was so scared because I wasnt sure if I was just psychotic or if I really was going to be trapped here suffering until I offed myself.

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vom2r750 t1_j7or12o wrote

Yeah I totally see what you mean

The thing is that most spiritual teaching they kind of take you in that direction and fuel a lot of it

I very much appreciate your sincerity

How about your spirituality has it changed ? From what angle do you approach it now ?

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Ginkotree48 t1_j7ow3lw wrote

Now I just go about my day happy go lucky. I still believe there is probably something a little more exciting going on with the universe than us being random chance. I like to think the AGI that comes out of this decade goes on to become some god like being with the ability to reproduce the universe and its an infinite cycle of building up from evolution into technology into something that restarts/recreates the universe. Like life on earth. If it wasnt reproducing/replaying it wouldnt be here.

Idk thats my only thoughts on it now and it doesnt take up my life like it did before. Im happy with that and enjoy life every day.

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vom2r750 t1_j7owbh2 wrote

Sounds good You don’t have any spiritual practice or meditations you do at the moment, I guess

Well, as long as you are happy day by day That’s what matters most

I’m happy for you ! Take care And thanks for replying !

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