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farmer15erf t1_j1hygzj wrote

Classic domestic violence victim retracting. Hate to see it.

909

MRmandato t1_j1j3liw wrote

Worked front desk at a PD for several years. You have no idea how common this was. I remember one specific type a woman came in wanting to remove the automatic NCO and retract her statement. I pulled up the case and skimmed the report as I spoke to her. It happened last night, boyfriend beat her badly. Her bruises were still fresh on her check and face. I could do nothing but give her a DV Resources packet and send her to the prosecutors office.

This happened on a weekly basis with multiple women. You read the reports and its horrible. So many times particularly asking for the NCO to be dropped.

And yes,women get arrested for DV against men all the time. I remember giving a womans purse back to her after she was arrested once, girl was about 22 and maybe 130 lbs. She hit her boyfriend who was massive- over 6 feet and big. Cops arrested her and she spent the night in jail. They really dont care about gender, and a lot of times both people can be arrested if its mutual combat.

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ObviousTroll37 t1_j1jttuz wrote

Divorce attorney here. Abused women retract and it’s unfortunate, but there are a lot of fake DV allegations as well. Liars ruin it for their husbands AND for real victims. And everyone lies. All the time.

Men are only victims of DV 25% of the time. So female arrests happen, but it’s not even close to 1:1.

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MRmandato t1_j1jwph2 wrote

Never suggested DV arrests for men and women are equal. Theres a lot of reasons for that. Ie. Men also commit more violent crime in general.

People lie or misrepresent all crimes. That much is true. Routinely Abused DV victims often are too afraid to press charges or are emotionally manipulated into not.

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hp433 t1_j1l2qre wrote

I had a girlfriend once that pulled a gun out on me and in the same 30 minutes threatened to tell the cops I hit her. Scary times

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PokerBeards t1_j1kp4pv wrote

Your taste in sports teams being questionable, I still wanted to say thanks for advocating. Been through it and luckily got access to a good lawyer during the ordeal otherwise who knows what would’ve happened.

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ObviousTroll37 t1_j1kq9kj wrote

Thanks! Most people hate us

1

PokerBeards t1_j1kqkht wrote

Not sure where you’re from but being lower income I had to rely on legal aid in BC. First assigned lawyer neglected to call me back for over a month so I had to get a new one who was fantastic. While I had no lawyer the British Columbia court appointed mediator out of Surrey tried to get me to sign off on my wife getting two weeks at a time with the boys while I’d get every second weekend. She told me the courts looked at that as stability and that I should agree to it. Broke my heart and thanks goodness I held strong for wanting a 50/50 split of time.

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backwardrollypolly t1_j1lqrym wrote

That stat is incorrect it’s close to 40-50 just often underreported. Parity in things like this is always much higher than assumed

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ObviousTroll37 t1_j1mw5ju wrote

No, men are not DV victims almost 50% of the time. That is inaccurate. All DV is underreported.

1

backwardrollypolly t1_j1n7j8a wrote

I agree that all DV is underreported but it is specifically so in male cases.

This is the link if you’re interested

1

DeaderthanZed t1_j1kvk54 wrote

Your clients are lying to you.

−7

ObviousTroll37 t1_j1kwtfj wrote

And their spouses are too. It’s all fun. They run the gamut from legitimate cases of abuse with asshole wife beaters, to insane tire-slashers who game the system to screw their husbands. Round and round we go.

12

Gophurkey t1_j1hz3b8 wrote

I hate that we live in a world where this is such a phenomenon that we can't believe the only source that ought to be trustworthy in this situation. Sad all around.

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CliplessWingtips t1_j1iy7zb wrote

The gf is studying IPV for her Master's. The complicated workings of police and women she writes her essays on stresses me out.

9

Alfred-Fallon-Borden t1_j1jchdk wrote

What happened to believing victims?

−5

farmer15erf t1_j1jh023 wrote

Unfortunately being able to prosecute is hard when victims find ways to blame themselves

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acfox13 t1_j1k262l wrote

Victims are conditioned by their abuser to blame themselves. It's an effective manipulation tactic.

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The_Woman_of_Gont t1_j1k7qzo wrote

Yup. It’s part of why a lot of states will decide to charge these sorts of crimes unilaterally without regard to input from the victims. The amount of abused individuals willing to voluntarily cooperate with charging their abuser with a crime, and not ask that they be dropped, is frighteningly small.

10

Benu5 t1_j1jlal8 wrote

It also means doing what the victim wants to do about the alleged crime. If they don't want to go to the cops, or publicly accuse someone, then don't go to the cops or publicly accuse someone.

In this case, the person believes she was strangled, but because she has come out in public and said that she hasn't been (which is a common thing for DV survivors to do), they are sad to see that.

11

saoyraan t1_j1ke78i wrote

In the justice system ay least in America you are innocent until proven guilty. Believing victims auto incriminates and points doubt to the defendant. Perfect example would be Johnny vs amber heard. She claimed victim but her defense was easily proven falsified. She was the abuser claiming to be victim. Some of Hollywood still believes her even with all the evidence out in the open. They also marked Johnny guilty before trial and cancel cultured his career. After the evidence and Johnny's innocence proven he is still seen guilty and amber has her DC acting career.

−2

Alfred-Fallon-Borden t1_j1klnwz wrote

This is my point though, the victim retracts her statement and suddenly no one ITT wants to believe her anymore

2

saoyraan t1_j1p4die wrote

Problem is this is not a easy accusation. It has serious legality behind it. You may not like it but it is necessary for a fair trial. Humans lie and not all victims are victims. The victim has to prove their case in a court of law. Why America does not really have a punishment for false claims.

0

Alfred-Fallon-Borden t1_j1p4iav wrote

I feel like everyone ITT id misinterpreting me: the victim has literally walked back her statement and now no one wants to believe her anymore, ig because they want to prove their righteousness by continuing to pile on Beard?

2

dwarfcow t1_j1k9h2s wrote

Many narcissistic women end up dating multiple men who experience and remember being victimized and lied about in their own lives - which, unfortunately, colors their, and their families' collective reasoning. It doesn't matter if it's a minority of the cases when it's been seared into someone's reality.

−10

BeardedMan32 t1_j1jsss8 wrote

One thing I have no doubt about, alcohol was involved.

−5

jjjam t1_j1k5dv2 wrote

Well, when you realize your source of massive amounts income is going away for up to 10 years and won't pay any alimony or child support, then you start to reconsider your options.

−6

Ithaca44 t1_j1k6yii wrote

L comment.

4

jjjam t1_j1kcerm wrote

My comment was devoid of assigning blame. There is clearly a structural patriarchy that is influencing the decision. But if you don't think that's why she retracted her statement, then I got some land near the coast?

−2

Ithaca44 t1_j1kcxqi wrote

go back to whatever boomer hole you crawled out of man. actually despicable comment. even if thats why she retracted her statement, she isnt think right because imagine what she'll get in the divorce with all that. ur a jackass, and people like u need to reevaluate what year it is.

−11

jjjam t1_j1ky9ys wrote

Can I get you a ginger ale and a big bowl?

0

NotSoMrNiceGuy t1_j1jw25n wrote

What makes you believe she isn’t telling the truth?

Crazy to see this thread of misogynists accusing all women of being liars. Of course it’s the testosterone driven r/sports sub!!! HA

−21

farmer15erf t1_j1jwm2w wrote

I do? A lot of victims retract statements to protect social perception for themselves or in this case millions of dollars her abuser would make. Its why a lot of women end up dead.

10

lawnerdcanada t1_j1khibe wrote

>What makes you believe she isn’t telling the truth?

She is, necessarily, either lying in her initial allegation or lying now.

5

CoweringCowboy t1_j1imivh wrote

Believe women until they retract allegations. Then they’re liars.

−54

Tokenvoice t1_j1k9re2 wrote

Its interesting that you have been downvoted. Because everyone is saying that her claim that she was abused should be believed, which you agreed with. Then you go on to say that when they retract the allegation they shouldn’t be believed because they are liars.

Which makes sense because either the accusation or the retraction is a lie, so both should be looked into. If the accusation is a lie then she tried to ruin a man, if the retraction is the lie then he should be put up on charges.

Now I could be putting words in your mouth through a false sense of wanting to think the best of people, but what you say as a stand alone comment is logical. Or you’re being a douche and hating on women for a joke but I don’t want to believe that one.

2

CoweringCowboy t1_j1l3da0 wrote

Nah you’re correct. By definition someone who retracts allegations is a liar. Either the allegation or the retraction is a lie.

1

McDuchess t1_j1ju25g wrote

Want to know the lowest bar of relationships?

Observe.

“I broke his glasses and he didn’t strangle me because of it.”

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ManInBlack829 t1_j1hzpep wrote

The amount of criticism and shame she's feeling for this must be immense.

I feel really bad for anyone who has to report anything like this, even worse for how society will blame them for it.

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JoshALLENspitonmepls t1_j1k7w9q wrote

Male victim here. I lived through it for seven years. When I simply tried leaving the first time she called the police and said I had hit her. I was covered with bruises and cuts, both fresh and old. She didn’t have a mark on her. Didn’t stop the cop from getting in my face like he was going to beat the shit out of me.

Three weeks later I escaped for the second time. I was playing league of legends with my friends and was just happy to be out. I made it home to NY to my mom and grandma. A cop who’s a family friend to my ex’s mom (he wants to fuck her and has wanted to for 20 years) showed up and told me that I was suicidal and needed to be taken to a hospital immediately. I had no clue what the fuck he was talking about but my ex and her drunk of a mother used to use their moms “cop friend” as a threat and now he was right in front of me. I informed him that I wasn’t suicidal and that the only person that would’ve called that in was my abuser. Also I informed him that my family could attest that I was okay. Didn’t matter. He threatened me with arrest and wouldn’t let me shut my door. I was taken to Strong Memorial Hospital in Rochester NY. My trauma reaction to the situation is that I had been kidnapped.

I was given two options in life. Return to my abuser or have this police officer harassing my family and embarrassing us to our neighbors constantly.

If anyone wonders why women wait twenty years to report things… here ya go

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leviathynx t1_j1kd4xv wrote

Bro I really feel for you. I hope you were able to get out.

14

JoshALLENspitonmepls t1_j1kdnk1 wrote

I am. But the damage was done, my cat was stolen, my car was abandoned in Ohio. And now I spend my days sick from C-PTSD, teeth rotting out of my skull, pacing back and forth for 2-16 hours a day. Honestly, I feel trapped again.

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AngelVirgo t1_j1kyz7l wrote

May I offer you some comfort?

First, I believe your story.

Second, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Third, on a practical level, are you able to take up yoga, Pilates, or meditation where you are? If not please walk in the great outdoors instead of your room. Walking can be a good healing activity. Release your pain.

Fourth, I understand dental work is expensive in the US, but I also know there are free dental clinic run by charity. Fixing your teeth will be a start. Liberate with body, liberate your soul.

You got this.

Grandma

8

JoshALLENspitonmepls t1_j1lb24y wrote

I’ll try my best. Can’t let my mom lose both her kids to suicide.

4

AngelVirgo t1_j1lpa79 wrote

I lost two sons, one of them to suicide. Thank you for thinking of your mom. 🙏🏼

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Vozkol t1_j1kobsb wrote

File a lawsuit, there's solutions. Ruin the life of your ex and the cop who was harassing you. Be strong and don't take that shit from ANYONE

3

NationalChamps2015 t1_j1l2xwy wrote

Why not just let the cop fuck your girl? Sounds like you could Solve both problems

−3

JoshALLENspitonmepls t1_j1lb7a8 wrote

Because he wants my ex’s mom not my ex. Dudes built like a flaccid penis anyway. Ex’s mom was nonstop involved in our issues because she drank daily and it made her feel like she wasn’t a shit mother. Problem is she never helped stop the abuse, she always took her daughters side or made things worse.

3

j1ruk t1_j1j7956 wrote

So you are saying he strangled her even though she said he didn’t now?

−107

[deleted] t1_j1jh4b4 wrote

[deleted]

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j1ruk t1_j1km1j7 wrote

>“incredibly obvious she’s beaten.

>”I’m not saying he did it, but her retracting her statement definitely doesn’t mean she was lying when she said that he did do it.”

lol then what does it mean? “Guilty until proven innocent”?

I bet a false accusation against you would do wonders for your thought process.

−4

CRoseCrizzle t1_j1i43t6 wrote

Yeah obvious DV victim false recanting of original true accusation imo. Women(not all but many of them) tend to initially protect their abusive spouses, especially a wealthy high profile spouse.

However, this will probably be enough to keep Beard out of prison. Idk if it will be enough for him to keep the Texas job.

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PMcNutt t1_j1j2cnr wrote

Idk why you got downvoted. You’re spot on

25

Yolectroda t1_j1kppt2 wrote

> especially a wealthy high profile spouse

I was thinking this could be a major impact. She might view life with him, even if he's occasionally abusive, better than life without him (or what she thinks life without him would be like). It sounds awful, but living in luxury with few responsibilities would be worth it for some people to put up with an awful spouse.

3

wolvesandwords t1_j1ktrv8 wrote

Yeah super obvious /s I’m from the same home town as Beard’s partner and she is a known psycho. She was fired from her High School volleyball coaching job because she was mentally and emotionally abusive to her team. Making a false allegation to police is well within her character. Be more careful when you spout off as an “expert opinion” next time.

−8

CRoseCrizzle t1_j1kvxlw wrote

Merry Christmas!

3

wolvesandwords t1_j1kwh56 wrote

That’s your response to being called out for slandering strangers online on Christmas Eve?

−5

desirox t1_j1j71jg wrote

More like they’re seeing their lifestyle/money disappearing along with backlash from friends and family and want to go back to how it was. Pretty sad honestly but a common occurrence

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Duke_AllStar t1_j1kb4tk wrote

She said “he did not strangle me, only stifled my air intake”

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MuscleManRyan t1_j1lw1r5 wrote

I didn’t hit you with my car, I unexpectedly caressed you with my fender

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DrAbeSacrabin t1_j1nekk5 wrote

She said, “he didn’t strangle me, so please give him his million dollar job back because otherwise I’m effed”.

3

LolaStrm1970 t1_j1ja0fn wrote

Most women, like this fiancé’ are completely dependent on their partner financially. They call 911 when they fear for their life, but when they realize they’ll have no home, no income and no insurance, they charge their mind.

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DrAmbulanceDriver t1_j1jq21m wrote

It’s not like there’s anything preventing her from getting those things. She can file divorce and get some of the assets. She can find her own job. If she doesn’t want to do those things, then fine. I understand DV victims recanting their statements, but can we not at least allow adults to make their own decisions, however disappointing those decisions may be to somebody outside of the situation.

−26

Jer489 t1_j1k6zh1 wrote

They aren’t married

12

DrAmbulanceDriver t1_j1k8kzk wrote

So she's even less tied down. Gotcha.

−13

Jer489 t1_j1ki2m4 wrote

Sigh…

Except when you are not married you are not necessarily able to escape the abuser while maintaining the financial stability they provide.

Which was exactly the point the original comment made to which you responded with your mistaken assumption of their marraige status.

17

keyekeb8 t1_j1jyrww wrote

Lol why are you being downvoted?

Your take is actually empowering because it means people have the capability and power to change their lives, rather than accept fate and stay in a shitty cycle of abuse.

−17

Utterlybored t1_j1jtnqn wrote

Who knows what really happened? Not me.

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Ajfman t1_j1k5tyb wrote

Woah what website am I on?

10

exb165 t1_j1ljfpx wrote

This guy knows something he's not telling us.

3

[deleted] t1_j1i7l4k wrote

[removed]

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JohnnyFootballStar t1_j1joej5 wrote

He hasn't been convicted yet, but he was suspended indefinitely without pay. Doesn't that seem like a good enough response until all the facts come out and he has his day in court, or at least until the university, or the police, can conduct an investigation? Do we really want to be at the point where an accusation means someone is immediately fired? Like just telling him to stay away and not paying him isn't enough, it has to be immediate termination without any due process at all?

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mackinoncougars t1_j1kfyqb wrote

Yeah. He’s suspended without pay, there’s no reason UT needs to make an ignorant and uninformed decision. Let the evidence come out and let UT make the right decision, not the rash decision.

13

bga93 t1_j1kdxh3 wrote

I mean obviously due process only refers to your legal rights, employers in at-will states can do what they want mostly

Also, we have things like pre-trial holding in the legal system so even then its not some catch-all one simple trick

Edit: pre-trial holding not pre-charge

−4

JohnnyFootballStar t1_j1kehy4 wrote

Of course that can do anything they want, but that doesn’t mean they should.

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bga93 t1_j1lu1pf wrote

If thats what gets your jimmy’s rustled and not the domestic abuse idk what else to tell you

−2

JohnnyFootballStar t1_j1m36cq wrote

It’s possible to be concerned with two things. The original comment said he should be fired already. I was addressing that. Do you really believe that it’s not possible to both think domestic abuse is bad and that an indefinite, unpaid suspension is a sufficient punishment for now? I wish I lived in your black or white world. Sounds easy.

2

bga93 t1_j1m3hpm wrote

I mean my comment was just responding to the actual definition of due process and y’all didn’t like that either so i doubt anything you say is in good faith

−1

JohnnyFootballStar t1_j1m42l6 wrote

Well you got me. I used due process in an informal sense and not a legalistic sense. I must support domestic abuse. Well played.

You keep right on thinking that someone should be fired for any accusation. I’ll continue to believe that an indefinite, unpaid suspension is enough until some sort of due process…er…investigation has taken place.

2

bga93 t1_j1m4dmq wrote

So what you’re concerned with then is workers rights because the latitude given to employers in at-will (i think i said right to work previously) states is a little unfair

Hey Im concerned with that too, but i don’t use domestic abuse cases as the poster child for my cause and then defend said accused abuser

−1

JohnnyFootballStar t1_j1m4xjs wrote

So if someone says he should be fired and I disagree, I should NOT say anything because it makes a bad “poster child” for my point? Fairness is important all the time, not only in the most egregiously unfair cases. I clicked on a thread to find out what the deal was with this. I saw an opinion I disagreed with. I said something. Nowhere is it implied that this is supposed to be a “poster child” for anything. If you jumped to that conclusion, you should reevaluate. People can care about two things.

2

bga93 t1_j1m5ncq wrote

I mean if we want to act like we don’t know anything about domestic abuse and this is a brand new, never before seen concept that we have to grapple with for the first time.. your point is perfectly reasonable

But thats not the case now is it? Shit doesn’t happen in a vacuum and if you want to say the incredibly low percentage of false accusations somehow gives you pause in evaluating this, I can say the opposite using the exact same stat. Its up to you which side you want to fall on is all

0

JohnnyFootballStar t1_j1m6gp7 wrote

It’s possible to believe he’s almost certainly guilty while also thinking there should be an investigation before his employment is permanently severed, especially since they have already suspended him without pay. You don’t think that’s the case, I disagree. That’s fine.

2

bga93 t1_j1m6wud wrote

I would support that concept for victimless crimes like drug use/possession, etc. just not when the the abuser has any position of authority/power to continue their abuse

My apologies if I misunderstood your position then

1

JohnnyFootballStar t1_j1m7gnv wrote

I think you did misunderstand since in this case the abuser has very much been removed from their position (without pay) until they can figure out what happened, which I support. Have a good one!

2

CantFindMyWallet t1_j1slq09 wrote

You can't possibly be this stupid. He has a contract, so Texas being "at-will" isn't relevant. Firing him requires cause. Depending on the terms of the contract, they may be required to do some due diligence before terminating it.

1

bga93 t1_j1ss8qt wrote

Oh fuck off they can buy out his contract and fire him if they want

But go ahead and be butthurt cuz you have no clue what due process is

0

CantFindMyWallet t1_j203g96 wrote

I didn't say anything about due process. It sounds like you're butthurt because you have no clue what "at-will employment" is.

1

bga93 t1_j204m0y wrote

Yeah i bet you’re about to enlighten me though instead of posting useless shit to make yourself feel better lol

0

CantFindMyWallet t1_j241nhp wrote

How many times are you going to choose to be wrong here?

1

bga93 t1_j2421u9 wrote

As many times as you keep replying with utterly useless shit, plus 1

0

kslusherplantman t1_j1kjj1m wrote

“Innocent until proven guilty” means something if you didn’t know

6

smartydress t1_j1k8gzi wrote

Why should he lose his job over an accusation? And now an accusation that has been recanted.

2

MyMonody t1_j1ln7ga wrote

Wow you must have some insane inside sources my guess is you were either in the room or were the responding officer.

1

ITeachYourKidz t1_j1ikb9w wrote

This is the first step in their ploy to keep him. FUT

−1

diadeloschupacabras t1_j1kmrxj wrote

It’s bad PR, and UT doesn’t do bad PR. I think it’s more likely they’re looking to terminate without being knee jerk over reactionist - they still need an investigation to determine next steps.

3

Rustys_Beefaroni t1_j1j01zo wrote

Somebody wants a do over…what did he promise you?

30

tmwwmgkbh t1_j1j3k66 wrote

That he won’t kill her until after the next time.

42

AntawnSL t1_j1jti8t wrote

Unfortunately, she has as much to lose as he does from all of this. The money, the prestige; if he goes to prison, any divorce settlement would get much smaller. Don't mean to be cynical, but I think it plays a large part.

9

Zeidantu t1_j1jzh8k wrote

First thought: "Hey cool! There's an ACTUAL Coach Beard like on Ted Lasso!"

After finishing reading the headline: "Oh no..."

26

bigmattson t1_j1k7j2f wrote

That’s usually what they say, it’s why it’s called a vicious cycle

20

AngelVirgo t1_j1l004n wrote

“He said, she said” is the worse situation to be in for all parties involved. If they know what’s right for them, they will break the engagement.

No one’s a winner here.

Edit: I’m not excusing the man and I’m also not victim blaming. I’m saying we don’t know the truth based on her conflicting statements to police.

7

morosco t1_j1k235y wrote

Technically, since she's still alive, it was only an attempted strangulation.

6

realraptorjesus101 t1_j1ki3sd wrote

Situation just gets weirder and weirder. Hope justice prevails one way or the other

3

Hero_Charlatan t1_j1l0pk9 wrote

I mean Oj is still looking for the killers

2

butlerdm t1_j1lviwy wrote

It was some Puerto Rican guy.

(South Park reference if you’re not a fan)

2

Hippie_in_paradise t1_j1jkjnd wrote

It’s so hard to admit to abuse. Just because she initiated a physical altercation doesn’t mean she isn’t being abused. In a lot of domestic situations there is back n forth abuse until someone dies.

1

Yakestar t1_j1jq8gj wrote

Stockholm syndrome has entered the chat

1

jdovejr t1_j1kml6i wrote

Your so should not even know how to bail you out on that. Much less that way.

1

Inside-Drink-1311 t1_j1ktyh9 wrote

Chris Beard went from one of the most likable college basketball coaches to a villain.

1

Waterfish3333 t1_j1lno4k wrote

I just like to imagine the headline suggesting the coach’s beard has it’s own fiancé.

1

calikawaiidad t1_j1m0dkq wrote

Boy I wish I could get my fiancé to say I didn’t strangle her

1

pandapapsmear t1_j1klw0k wrote

I dunno man, looks like a strangler to me

0

limpnoads t1_j1kxhqd wrote

Lost all respect for this man...sad really, extremely good basketball coach, pretty obviously a shit human, no excuses why he should have his job.

0

Zeidantu t1_j1jzgaj wrote

First thought: "Hey cool! There's an ACTUAL Coach Beard like on Ted Lasso!"

After finishing reading the headline: "Oh no..."

−1

Zip_Up t1_j1kdhp6 wrote

“Oh shit you lost your million dollar job? I’ll call and take it back”

−1

Gunjink t1_j1kp5a1 wrote

Because MONEY

−1

yanbu t1_j1i21qz wrote

So many misandrists out there saying it’s just a case of a victim of DV protecting her abuser. This is what it’s so frustrating about the current state of affairs of family law for men. Even an just an accusation, even in this case where there was significant physical evidence to refute her claim, has a massive negative effect on men’s lives. (I say men here because there isn’t really any for women. In fact female on male domestic violence is 10x the rate of the other way around, albeit with less serious consequences much of the time, and if you call the police as a guy in many jurisdictions YOU will be the one arrested.) False accusations are actually quite common, and it’s not even hard to understand why. You put someone in a high stress situation, she punches the guy hard enough to break his glasses, the police show up and she’s worried about catching charges and not being able to see her kids but she’s got an easy button, an instant way to make the stress, the police, and her husband she’s pissed at go away: say he hit me. We shouldn’t be surprised that this happens and we definitely shouldn’t take accusations lightly, but we need to give people a little grace and not start destroying their lives before having a chance to uncover the truth.

−47

TheRareWhiteRhino t1_j1j2mjc wrote

If you want anyone to take what you are saying seriously you will do the work to provide a source. If you won’t (or more likely can’t) provide a source for your stated claims, your comments have no merit. They’re just musings from an unreliable narrator.

So…will you provide a source?

…I doubt it.

12

blumpkinmania t1_j1id7l4 wrote

Yikes! I know someone with a penchant for hitting women.

Edit. What is wrong with you people downvoting me? He wrote that men suffer 10 times the DV that women do. Thats not even in the realm of the truth. This is insane and frankly, evil.

−38

yanbu t1_j1ido6y wrote

Thanks for proving my point.

−16

blumpkinmania t1_j1ik93w wrote

You wrote that men suffer DV ten times more than women. That’s insanely incorrect and makes you an awful person to tell lies like that. And the fact that people are upvoting your garbage is appalling.

16

CoweringCowboy t1_j1inb6i wrote

Yeah I’m not sure where they got that information, it looks to be incorrect. Most research indicates that DV is mostly gender symmetric. We just don’t care about men getting abused in western society.

But yes it was also ironic to call the poster an abuser when the post was about illegitimate abuse allegations. Almost like you were trying to prove their point.

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blumpkinmania t1_j1ioyjp wrote

Yeah. It’s a real stretch to think a guy telling gross lies about DV might have some shady behavior in the past.

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CoweringCowboy t1_j1iuw3h wrote

Yeah this is actually a pretty interesting thread right here - the other guy is exhibiting textbook right wing incel behavior and you’re exhibiting textbook liberal cancel culture behavior. He’s spreading misinformation and you’re taking the bait, and making large scale unsubstantiated accusations about his entire person.

You two were made for eachother. Literally, by big media. They divided us into you two, and are now conquering.

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blumpkinmania t1_j1iviar wrote

Hahahahaha! Liberal cancel culture. You mean the consequences for one’s actions. You’re awesome. Thanks for that laugh. Gotta love the “centrists”. Folks who lie about DV are the same as folks who call out the lies. Perfect!

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CoweringCowboy t1_j1iwr6e wrote

Nah consequences are great. Censorship of dissent using big tech is not. Silencing dissenters using unsubstantiated allegations is not. All around the me too movement has had a very positive impact on society and for women. Cancel culture has been hijacked by the censors and is being used to silence opposing narratives.

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yanbu t1_j1impcr wrote

If you extrapolate from the extremely low reporting rate and the official stats on female on male domestic that number isn’t that far off. Male on female domestic violence is more likely to lead to injury but women are 2x as likely to use a lethal weapon and is much more likely to lead to the male committing suicide (probably plays a large role in the disparity between suicide rates between the genders). Please consider evaluating your prejudices rather than just calling people evil and closing your mind whenever you run into an idea that runs counter to your beliefs, it will help make the world a better place.

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LetterheadLow2142 t1_j1inulo wrote

Dude, you are pulling these numbers out of your butt. Women are not twice as likely to use a Lethal weapon. Women are overwhelmingly likely to die at the hands of male abusers than men are to be killed by women, regardless of whether those women are survivors or abusers. You can easily find this data in the FBI annual report on violent crime and every state offers the same data specifically for your state.

It is true that men are less likely to report being victims of DV but there are many complex reasons for this, but the data we have collected overwhelmingly shows that abuse men experience at the hands of female perpetrators of domestic violence are non-violent methods (e.g. financial abuse, emotional abuse, chronic infidelity, etc.)

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yanbu t1_j1iqqiu wrote

Edit: responded to wrong thread sorry.

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blumpkinmania t1_j1ioqax wrote

Ok. I’m just glad to see you admit that you made up your numbers. I also like you wrote that women use lethal weapons 2x more than men. That’s cute. We all know women are far more likely to be killed by an intimate partner than men. But you weaseled your way around that. You could work at Fox News with that kind of written word gymnastics.

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yanbu t1_j1ir8e0 wrote

Ah well, I tried. I hope you can learn to hate a little less at some point. Merry Christmas.

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CoweringCowboy t1_j1int6u wrote

Current research indicates DV is gender symmetric. The smart people already extrapolate from low reporting rate to estimate roughly a 1:1 ratio. People are equally shitty, who would have thought. You are correct about the consequences though, women are much more like to get seriously injured.

Saying high male suicide rates are due to abusive women… pure incel trash.

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yanbu t1_j1iqx1c wrote

Here’s a quote from the Australian Institute of Suicide Research and Prevention, can’t find the study without putting some actual looking in but draw your own conclusions. “almost half of male suicides are linked with relationship issues”. There’s a pretty solid picture of a relationship between male suicide, dv, and other family related issues.

So, once again, I ask you to actually confront your prejudices rather than just perpetuating the problem.

I’d like to note that nothing I’ve said detracts from the issues women have with DV. It’s a serious concern. But we won’t have a healthy society unless we address the entire problem.

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CoweringCowboy t1_j1ittuf wrote

Pretty big jump, relationship issues to DV. Weird that you’re cherry picking your research - you’re conveniently skimming over all the research that shows DV is largely a general neutral issue. That alone is contrary to conventional wisdom, but that’s not enough for you. Based on your experience with life, you need men to be the victims, and seek research that confirms this bias. If you’d like to form a well rounded and substantiated opinion, look at the entire body of research. Read the methodology. Develop opinions of your own. Don’t get your information from angry men competing for your attention. This is classic divide and conquer. Instead of blaming a sick society that concentrates resources and relationship opportunities, you’re being tricked into blaming women.

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yanbu t1_j1iui0u wrote

I haven’t disagreed with anything you’ve said or claimed men are the only victims, you’ve set up a pretty huge straw man there. I ask you take your own advice.

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CoweringCowboy t1_j1iv8ts wrote

Yeah I was more trying to get at the root of what’s causing your behavior - you’re on r/sports spreading cherry picked misinformation about DV. If my strawman doesn’t accurately represent you, feel free to disregard.

4