Hollowpointsmilexx t1_jdoabut wrote on March 25, 2023 at 10:17 PM

James River wants to perform a miracle in there, but no one can look

whiskeytastesgood t1_jdoufka wrote on March 26, 2023 at 12:49 AM

where's my "toes" at?

Cold417 t1_jdp5f4n wrote on March 26, 2023 at 2:14 AM

Different area codes.

thisxisxlife t1_jdp693o wrote on March 26, 2023 at 2:21 AM

Walked through the building for a normal maintenance call and came home to 8 toes on one foot

rasta4eye OP t1_jdqo12s wrote on March 26, 2023 at 1:03 PM

For people who don't understand the reference: https://www.news-leader.com/story/news/local/ozarks/2023/03/22/james-river-church-leader-says-woman-regrew-toes-during-a-service/70028744007/

DjValence t1_jdp5xeg wrote on March 26, 2023 at 2:18 AM

☠️😂

Ipuncholdpeople t1_jdoawtk wrote on March 25, 2023 at 10:21 PM

The penguins breached their cell. They evacuated, but there is still mass carnage

Imactuallyadogg t1_jdorhq7 wrote on March 26, 2023 at 12:26 AM

Well as long as the sharks didn’t get out I think everyone will be ok. That’s why they keep those fences electrified. The fences only work because sharks can’t jump.

just_another_monster t1_jdp6m9h wrote on March 26, 2023 at 2:23 AM

The penguins were riding the sharks. It's over for us all.

Raddad47 t1_jdockff wrote on March 25, 2023 at 10:34 PM

They're just down for another 8 year remodel

Low_Tourist t1_jdofp8s wrote on March 25, 2023 at 10:58 PM

Oh, so it's gonna be a lot quicker this time?

Raddad47 t1_jdoi0r5 wrote on March 25, 2023 at 11:16 PM

Real.

creepinDan t1_jdokfva wrote on March 25, 2023 at 11:34 PM

Someone pulled the fire alarm but I think it was a fake. Source: customer

rasta4eye OP t1_jdp1l39 wrote on March 26, 2023 at 1:43 AM

Thank you for the one serious answer.

The non-serious answers were funny tho

python_boot t1_jdoi5pc wrote on March 25, 2023 at 11:17 PM

candygram

rasta4eye OP t1_jdou98q wrote on March 26, 2023 at 12:48 AM

I'm just a dolphin

indiefab t1_jdom4dh wrote on March 25, 2023 at 11:46 PM

UNICEF, ma’am.

beerme72 t1_jdp5i40 wrote on March 26, 2023 at 2:15 AM

a CANDYGRAM! OH BOY!

BonelessLucy t1_jdrad6q wrote on March 26, 2023 at 3:58 PM

Candygram for Mongo!

rasta4eye OP t1_jdrbcpt wrote on March 26, 2023 at 4:06 PM

Different movie. Here's what the reference is to: https://youtu.be/p_NS2H55dxI

Azanskippedtown t1_jdohsyg wrote on March 25, 2023 at 11:14 PM

Crack in the glass!

MLC3527 t1_jdosxqo wrote on March 26, 2023 at 12:37 AM

Sharknado. Probably...

TungstenElement9 t1_jdovife wrote on March 26, 2023 at 12:57 AM

I farted

mungermoss245 t1_jdp2w7o wrote on March 26, 2023 at 1:53 AM

Someone overheard me saying I was gonna blow the place up without a chance to wipe

MonoChaos t1_jdpp9mr wrote on March 26, 2023 at 5:23 AM

Oh dang, I volunteer there on Mondays and Fridays. I hope everything and everyone was okay.

rasta4eye OP t1_jdrbfo8 wrote on March 26, 2023 at 4:06 PM

Please report back tomorrow with the inside scoop

MonoChaos t1_jdxie7j wrote on March 27, 2023 at 10:26 PM

So I ended up asking and apparently someone pulled a fire alarm or something. There was no actual fire though so everyone and everything was perfectly fine. No harm done.

rasta4eye OP t1_jdxjzx0 wrote on March 27, 2023 at 10:38 PM

Thanks!

Gaysuperman302 t1_jdtaeda wrote on March 27, 2023 at 12:42 AM

I also want to know

Eat__Moneyz t1_jdpnhg3 wrote on March 26, 2023 at 5:02 AM

It escaped.

PumpkinGuy85 t1_jdqxj8i wrote on March 26, 2023 at 2:24 PM

I'm not sure. Seems fishy though.

T-money79 t1_jdr21b2 wrote on March 26, 2023 at 2:58 PM

One of the sharks sprouted legs

DrMcdoctory t1_jdqxtj8 wrote on March 26, 2023 at 2:26 PM

Fish escaped.

Exaltedautochthon t1_jdq9v80 wrote on March 26, 2023 at 10:14 AM

This fat guy was brawling with some dude who sounds like Phil Hartman after they both signed up for a charity program helping young boys

CheezWizonator t1_jdrb20s wrote on March 26, 2023 at 4:03 PM

Baptist farts stink the worst.

LilSisterCumGutters t1_jdp1tun wrote on March 26, 2023 at 1:45 AM

Because it’s a shithole?

3078655 t1_jdphvk7 wrote on March 26, 2023 at 4:04 AM

What, you want to give the fish toilets? Dam Libruls and their nature these days, smh...

/s for the dull ones

Gaysuperman302 t1_jdtajey wrote on March 27, 2023 at 12:43 AM

We aren’t dull for downvting you it was just a bad “joke”

3078655 t1_jdtfavf wrote on March 27, 2023 at 1:22 AM

Yea borgs will do that

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