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nickcash t1_jdd3cak wrote

necromancy requires a license, according to Springfield city code. I'm 100% serious


LeeOblivious t1_jddax9y wrote

But only if you use it for fortunetelling and not for raising a zombie hoard to bring destruction on all those who you have perceived to have slighted you. Skeletons and flesh golems are also available. But, using corpses, body parts, and other such things violates other laws. gif


plated_lead t1_jdex12l wrote

Holy fuck… you have no idea how badly I want to apply for a necromancy license


mrsdex1 t1_jde32sc wrote

The megachurch sits in Christian County.


nickcash t1_jde7r76 wrote

which as we all know, is a lawless place, overrun with necromancers


VaderTower t1_jdgj0xz wrote

G'dam necromancers keep tearing down my chitty wall!


_ism_ t1_jdcjiq4 wrote

that's just code for tax fraud


CloudofAmethyst t1_jdcssil wrote

I love that there is a God so loving and caring that he will grow back three toes that weren't impacting anyone's longevity or health, but there will be so many children who will die of preventable disease. I love how mysterious the ways of the Lord are. Keeps me on my...toes


crw201 t1_jddp2ph wrote

Who cares that there's homeless children in Springfield? This woman can stand on her tip toes now! God has priorities.


VaderTower t1_jdgj5rg wrote

Well see she tithed and believes in god. Those homeless kids deserve to be in the shadows!

VERY strong /s here...


crw201 t1_jdie192 wrote

Jesus "Holy Reaganomics" Christ.

Unfortunately I can see that sentiment being half believed by members of JRC. I used to go tl JRC and they always used to give sermons about the poor widow who came along and put in two small copper coins. The poor woman, as a widow, would have had no source of income after her husband's death. Therefore the two small copper coins were all she had - and yet she offered them to God. We were taught to give even if we had nothing.

We were also taught in the youth sermons that if we did nothing for God, not giving tithes or evangelicalizing and recruiting people to join the church that we would get nothing in heaven. We'd be homeless in heaven essentially lol.


daveydave1987 t1_jdcz6zt wrote

I actually got my sex change thanks to James River! Lindell prayed over me and I finally got my vagina! God is so good!!✝️🏳️‍⚧️


randomradomski t1_jdcnhp9 wrote

Hopefully, this situation will get some people to wake up and realize that their church/ pastor is a fraud and leave it for a better one.... Hopefully.


Odd_Cat_5820 t1_jdh7aa3 wrote

I expect Eric Metaxas will have him on his show, and he will be one of the headliners at the Reawaken America tour with General Flynn instead.


LifeRocks114 t1_jdcjn9x wrote

I know the guest pastor that is actually responsible for the Toes tried this back in california, it did not work


brainkandy87 t1_jdcuqmd wrote

Trying to raise someone from the dead didn’t work? No shit?


merrythoughts t1_jdffvhk wrote

Holy fucking SHIT. It’s the same fucking guy???? I followed this intensely. Mother fucker preyed on this tragic event. Now he’s with JRA?? Fuuuuuck him. And fuuuuuck James River.


Golden3ye t1_jdcmlbm wrote

Once we get 10,000 raised, we will try to bring back little Timmy! Come on, people. Love with your wallets!


External_Staff_300 t1_jdd6arj wrote

Pretty sure the Bible has a lot to say about making false claims and soothsaying. None of it good.


crw201 t1_jddowtu wrote

John Lindell is a megalomanic who is addicted to be worshipped as if he is Jesus Christ himself.


Digital-Latte t1_jddd71i wrote

If you have watched Pet Cemetery you know this is a bad idea lol.


CRMagic t1_jdcyi1q wrote

Isn't the Bible really against magic or something? Oh well, guess they gotta keep all the followers on their toes.


Marqueso-burrito t1_jddbkby wrote

One of the priests involved in the toe thing was from out in California and he tried to resurrect a congregation members 2 year old daughter through prayer. This isn’t surprising me at all


lightsrage85 t1_jdgcqmz wrote

I am never surprised by churches or anything people in them do including the church i am a member of. dont cast every congrantant in the same light as the ones involved in this story.


joinmygirlgang t1_jddpscg wrote

Y'all uhhh...y'all ever seen Midnight Mass?


sajabla t1_jdf8b0r wrote

If heaven is real what bullshit it would be to be there and have some asshole raise you from the dead and make you come back to this wretched place


DaisiesSunshine76 t1_jde3ehk wrote

Oh Jesus Christ. This is turning into the Olive situation at Bethel. (They attempted to resurrect a dead infant/child.)


NitazeneKing t1_jdg67ho wrote

Church full of pedophiles, scammers, and nutjobs.


darlenajones t1_jddgjzu wrote

I think they've jumped the shark.


Deathhead876 t1_jddwwe8 wrote

Wait is necromancy legal now? You mean that I don't have to hide my undead in the shed anymore.


indiefab t1_jde90z2 wrote

The Gillioz is showing classic movies every Wednesday through the summer. May we request a special showing of Pet Semetary?


huscarlaxe t1_jddwp8u wrote

Yeah but that's just for voting purposes.


yvnglawyer t1_jddo9fx wrote

“Death” or “raising people from the dead” is interchangeable with “raising people from a dead life/raising people up” pretty much! Just taken out of context it sounds weird lol but I’ve heard this a ton it’s not meant to literally mean necromancy


mdchally t1_jdeg1t8 wrote

But the mobs don't want facts


DaddyToadsworth t1_jdft5fj wrote

Do you think her toes grew back? It really seems like you think her toes grew back.


mdchally t1_jdfwlf7 wrote

That's not even what this thread of the comments was about.

For the sake of feeding you: I believe God is capable of anything. I do not know this lady in question, so I don't know if He provided new toes or not.

I think if it happened to me, I would be so thrilled to share His miracle with the world that I would provide proof. But we're all different.


DaddyToadsworth t1_jdfwqrp wrote



mdchally t1_jdfx3p1 wrote

Look at how you reacted when I actually gave you a sincere response. This interaction says a lot more about you than it does me.

I still never even told you a yes or no. So, further proving the mob doesn't care about facts.


DaddyToadsworth t1_jdfx89h wrote

>I believe God is capable of anything

"I didn't say yes or no".

Get a grip.


mdchally t1_jdfxm6q wrote

That means, I believe God can regrow toes. It doesn't say anywhere that I think he did.

My grip is strong, my friend.


yvnglawyer t1_jddodqw wrote

This is just to say “you’re going to introduce people to the Christian faith” rather than bring back deceased people


Hem0g0blin t1_jdegnqu wrote

I hear you, but I have to admit it's hard to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they're not speaking literally when they've recently made the fantastic claim that they literally caused a woman's amputated toes to grow back.


lightsrage85 t1_jdgcnf9 wrote

right? I mean I am a christian I believe in miracles but that is a bit um no I dont know about that.


evilspawn_usmc t1_jdpacyw wrote

Except the bible literally says that Jesus gave his disciples the power to cure all diseases, dispel spirits, and even raise the dead. In fact, he commanded them to do just that:

>Matthew 10: 5-8 5 These twelve Jesus sent out, instructing them, “Go nowhere among the Gentiles and enter no town of the Samaritans, 6 but go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. 7 And proclaim as you go, saying, ‘The kingdom of heaven is at hand.’ 8 Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, cast out demons.