You're not alone. I hate to admit I was an evangelical for a couple of decades. I bailed on religion about 10 years ago. The deconstruction process was painful, mainly because it was hard to find like minded people...a new tribe as it were. Brenea Brown talks about how a "tribe" equates to "protection". Without it one is vulnerable. So we compromise at times to create that sense of security, and acceptance.

It's even more difficult when we live in the bible belt. We've attended/supported the Venues for several years now. I think they are the closest tribe we have in the area. Still not 100% in line with where I stand theologically, but close.

PM me if you want to talk more.