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jakedmj t1_iui0ev2 wrote

Reply to comment by Wrinklestiltskin in If living in Springfield was a video game what tips would you get on the loading screen? by Xefjord

Former smoker, personally. Partner and myself are formerly homeless. You do have a point and boundaries are very important. But I can remember that mentality very clearly, the conflict avoidance, the need for commiseration and socialization, the general inability to see the exploitative systems as greater than the individual in front of you. Just understanding Maslow's hierarchy of needs and the effects poverty has on general cognition and awareness was impossible. It took slipping in and out of it a few times to really understand how it affects your perception and ability to navigate your social environment effectively.

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Wrinklestiltskin t1_iui7osr wrote

I'm glad you both are in a more stable place now. I can't imagine the hardship of being homeless. I have worked with many formerly homeless individuals from our area and even still I can't begin to imagine how difficult that life is...

And I never wanted to come off like sharing your cigs is wrong or anything. It's just good to be able to say no from time to time and not feel pressured or guilty for our decision. Bumming a cig from someone can make you feel like someone else cares enough to share, and that is a good thing. But it can just as easily prevent you from hanging onto your own possessions out of perceived obligations.

Like everything in life, it's about moderation and it is not black and white. As in, it's not inherently good or bad to share your smokes. It's all about balance.

I'm sure you have enough life experience from your challenges to know that we all really live in the grey, and that people are too complicated to be put into labels as restrictive as 'good' or 'bad' or 'black' and 'white' sort of thinking. We all just have to try to find the right balance in our lives.

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