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littlebrownmoth t1_j2uilap wrote

I feel like there may be context we're missing here? So what I say may or may not be relevant to you depending on that context - but at least for finding friends, in my experience requires putting yourself out there, be it in the local discord (linked from this reddit), in social events in town, at clubs, in facebook groups about your interests, etc.

When theres stigma around part of your lived experience/identity, or have particular values that are important to you that you want people you trust to be as emotionally intimate as friends are, it can reduce the pool of Potential Friends a bit, for sure. But I think it's important to be mindful of which areas and in which ways you're trying to make friends, and reflect on if youre exposing yourself to a group of people who you're likely to connect with in that way with what you're trying.

I think something else folks sometimes stumble with is putting things on a really high pedestal that comes w a lot of expectations, or doing other stuff that makes it really intimidating or not as safe feeling, emotionally, to potential friends, for them to try to get close to you? So sometimes reflecting on if anything can adjust there might help too.

Otherwise, really, I think the secret ingredient is just: genuine connection really truly takes Time.


SweetSewerRat t1_j2x35kn wrote

I'm a dude, but sometime if you wanna go fishing and talk about girls and stuff, I'd be down.


mr_try-hard t1_j2ux20m wrote

What are your personal interests? Springfield has a decent amount of community-based groups/clubs/etc to engage in.


FlyProud7801 OP t1_j2uxyw6 wrote

I like poetry , traveling, clubbing sometimes and exploring local places since i am new to this country, not new been here since 2 years. Still feel like i am a stranger.

What are those?


mr_try-hard t1_j2v08o4 wrote

There’s a local writers group that’s also on Facebook called Making Pages. I am semi-active in that group myself, but have yet to attend an in-person meeting.

The Outland Ballroom offers an open mic night on Thursdays. It’s a bit of a mixed bag with that crowd, but there are often local poets there. Years ago, Big Momma’s on C Street had an open mic night that I attended regularly and enjoyed quite a bit. You could call to find out if they’re still doing that. Pagination used to host readings and poetry readings before the pandemic as well.

As for clubbing, I’d recommend Friends karaoke bar or Prime Time. And, traveling & exploring locally is also a great way to meet people! I’ve had luck making friends while skating, on walks with my dogs, and in the small businesses around here.


Punnchy t1_j2ukw1w wrote

Honestly I can vouch for the discord building friendships. In my time there I've seen more then one new friendship blossom, at least one relationship, and there's been regular meetups established for some time.

Otherwise like they said, you gotta go to the places to meet the people.


AnEmptyBookcase t1_j2uyiyl wrote

I’m just gonna put it out there; if you’re my downstairs neighbor, just come up an say “hi” anytime bro.


FlyProud7801 OP t1_j2uynfi wrote

Unfortunately i am not your neighbor i guess 😂


AnEmptyBookcase t1_j2uzej9 wrote

Whoever they are, their dinner also smells amazing!

Hope you put yourself out here and ask some locals for food suggestions. Usually a good approach to open dialogue. If nothing else you might discover your new favorite place to eat!


dead_wit_laugh t1_j2ykrz4 wrote

Brother, it's gonna be an uphill battle in Springfield. I am white but my best buds were Desi back in my college days (90s). They both got arranged at the end of the day. I like Springfield well enough as it was where I was mostly raised but I travel for work now and there's just objectively better options for you.

For instance, I'm in New Jersey currently with some Southies right at the end of my street running a restaurant so I'm straight killing masala dosa, veda, sambar, chole bhature, etc on the regular. Since the Google Panopticon is still mostly dumb, I got a YouTube pre-roll ad for shortly after my order there lol. I'm white and 43 but it's all good.

Those MSU/DU Desi honeys are locked tight: studies, family expectations, etc. They just didn't date in my experience but it's been some time ago. Things change. The Indian diaspora and Springfield cultures are individually very insular and, as such, it's tough to get them to mix but it's not impossible. Bloom where you're planted. At a minimum, you now have 3 places for a date night if you want to convert a local! That was definitely not the case 25 years ago.