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soulhot t1_iui905p wrote

Reply to comment by bror313 in Left in isolation: how the online revolution failed our elderly people | As day-to-day services increasingly move to the internet, older and vulnerable people are cut off by SetMau92

Whilst that may be true to a certain extent, there is considerable reluctance to join the revolution among some of the older generation. My mother in law who sadly lives alone now, is well educated and still very capable both physically and mentally, for an 82 year old.

My wife and myself both have IT degrees and worked in the industry all our lives so she is very aware of technology developments over the years, but we have never managed to persuade her to even get WiFi at home. We have bought her tablets and and mobile phones and offered to get her WiFi but she still doesn’t want or consider using them. She visits our house every week and she regularly sees us FaceTiming with our two children who she is very close to, but still no change.

She has a landline and that’s ‘all she needs’ but we find it very frustrating. Ultimately I think her generation are quite prepared to put up with inconvenience rather than have something that changes how they want to do things, or are a ‘waste of money’

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pizzainoven t1_iuidr80 wrote

I actually don't find that weird. It would be nice if she could use a basic cellphone so she could call or text someone if she gets in an emergency outside the home. But stuff like FaceTiming the grandchildren, I get how she sees that as unnecessary. She sees them 1x a week and gets updates from you and your wife, perhaps that is enough for her? Tablets, sure, but from her perspective she already had resources for getting the news, weather, and entertainment from other sources so why add something else?

I kinda get it. Why add more to your life if you're satisfied with what you have.

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jodido47 t1_iuj5cew wrote

No sane person would inconvenience themselves rather than continue to do things as they want to do them or waste money. You've totally undercut your own argument. "We"--ie, you and your wife--find it very frustrating. That's not MIL's problem, that's yours.

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soulhot t1_iuja3p5 wrote

Firstly and contextually, my comment was engaging with a previous poster saying it was an opportunity for training the elderly and I was pointing out the elderly sometimes do not want change regardless of opportunity or benefits. Your comment on the other hand added nothing to the discussion other than your judgemental preconceptions. If you were genuinely interested you would engage and consider more details, but you rush to judge when you know nothing about our family circumstances.

FYI our frustrations are as a very loving family trying to help our relative with difficult issues. The fact she says she is often lonely and depressed, because many of her friends have passed or are not well and they are unable to meet is a major concern for us. We take her out to meet them regularly but it’s not the same as being able to chat and meet when you want. Some of her friends have embraced technology or live in houses with access to it so her being online would provide opportunities to engage with her friends who are not mobile. Indeed many schemes to help the elderly run locally and they use online facilities engage and provide information and advice, which again would be a boon to her. She also often feels bored but bemoans the lack of interesting things to watch on tv which would be less of an issue if she could stream. There are many other benefits but it is pointless discussing these here now.

A very wise person once said that when you point your finger at someone, take a moment to look at your hand and see just how many fingers are pointing back... perhaps you should try it some time

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