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cerialthriller t1_ixidlp6 wrote

The Amazon Driver Never Rings Once coming to theaters near you


RunnyPlease t1_ixig6bm wrote

The Ring^TM in theaters this Halloween.


GeneralZaroff1 t1_ixiqqdj wrote

There is a recent episode of American horror stories that’s literally this.

Woman buys a ring doorbell camera that can see ghosts.


MasterpieceBrave420 t1_ixifwor wrote

If you wrote a move starring an amazon driver protagonist with a heart of gold who saves a city, you could cash the check before the pitch meeting ended.


TacTurtle t1_ixjwoac wrote

Castaway but it is an Amazon driver in a blizzard in Texas.


MasterpieceBrave420 t1_ixjwwku wrote

Blizzard, Texas, Organ Transplant. We're half way there.


TacTurtle t1_ixke3ak wrote

Add in a mostly irrelevant subplot about a strained relationship, ends with him falling for a gal on the a farm that points him in the right direction.


ichuck1984 t1_ixii08c wrote

Do Not Disturb- the heartwarming story of an overworked and underpaid delivery person who throws tvs over fences and dropkicks packages onto roofs as a way to save time so that the last package gets delivered before the night is over.


itwasquiteawhileago t1_ixj6ygr wrote

And the inevitable sequel: The Package Punter.


ichuck1984 t1_ixj7kvl wrote

“In a world where an orphan needs insulin overnighted, one man is willing to run reds and take turns on two wheels to make it happen. Experience the thrills and heartbreaks in Mad Max Beyond Overtime.”


li_314 t1_ixitu3m wrote

You want to be bothered every time an Amazon driver drops off a package?


cerialthriller t1_ixjntrw wrote

Not now that I live somewhere better but previously I would have packages taken off my porch before I even got the email that it was here


Hi_Im_Ken_Adams t1_ixiewll wrote

I'm assuming the play here is to produce Hollywood movies which would then only be available to stream on Amazon Prime later on.

Every streaming service out there is desperate for original content.


NCBaddict t1_ixigepz wrote

This makes sense. Disney & Paramount seem to be maximizing their earnings with this approach as Marvel & Top Gun have demonstrated. Keeps talent happy as well.

Netflix releasing Glass Onion briefly in theaters seems to be along the same lines.

I love what HBO Max did during the pandemic with their films, but the BO failure of everything except Dune and Godzilla/Kong seems to indicate it’s a losing business strategy.


octopus_has_friends t1_ixilt3z wrote

What HBO Max did was a great way to push filmmakers away from your platform.


dantheman91 t1_ixjjc30 wrote

I'd argue there's probably a lot of film makers out there, getting subscribers is the more "essential" part of the business than finding film makers. There are tons of "up and coming" ones and such.


ngfdsa t1_ixkqo3b wrote

You're right but you have to hope you picked one of the tons who isn't shit


tankerkiller125real t1_ixij253 wrote

And once it's available on any streaming media, it becomes available on the high seas for everyone who doesn't want 6 subscriptions paying more than what cable did/does.


lord_pizzabird t1_ixkpzs3 wrote

That or an effort to help sustain the film industry till their big plans (007) start materializing.

I remember seeing reports recently that theaters are struggling, not due to low turnout as much as too few films for patrons to buy tickets for. If theaters start closing that's going to really jam up their plans.


Adequate-Comfort t1_ixifqgo wrote

I think it’s just a play to offset the cost of prime video. It’s an included service that takes billions a year


WexfordHo t1_ixib3zv wrote

Lol, so they laid off a bunch of people and now that money will be sent down the bottomless pit of movies in theaters? Brilliant.


Rankine t1_ixiivj2 wrote

I’d wager ROI on movies will be better than what they were getting on Alexa.


WexfordHo t1_ixijw1t wrote

The ROI on throwing money into a burning building would have a higher ROI than Alexa! Lol


steinmas t1_ixiob4x wrote

This is a completely different division than the layoffs.


giantpotato t1_ixifhys wrote

1 billion? That barely pays for half an Avatar movie nowadays.


[deleted] t1_ixiiq10 wrote



ghjm t1_ixilo7o wrote

It could also buy you twenty or thirty mid-budget movies that are driven by characters and stories rather than by CGI effects.


JarvisCockerBB t1_ixj43l9 wrote

You mean like TIL? Which no one saw. Or She Said? Which also no one saw. How about Emily the Criminal, Three Thousand Years of Longing, Death on the Nile, Nightmare Alley, The Card Counter, Worst Person in the World, Tar. You make it seem like there's this huge audience for these films when the truth is, barely anyone is even watching these stories in the theater.

And fwiw, I've seen 7 of those films all in the theater to barely anyone around.


raltyinferno t1_ixk35f4 wrote

Do they say anything about viewership?

No one is denying the big cgi blockbusters have higher viewership, but that doesn't change the fact that that budget can cover a lot of good character films.


braamdepace t1_ixip4rc wrote

That’s under the assumption that you are spending $0 in P&A which is insane for the movie industry. Way of Water is estimated to cost around $400 with P&A. $250mm budget $150mm P&A. Also you are talking about a movie where a lot of the budget was spent prior to the crazy inflation and interest rates we’ve seen recently. All the movies you mentioned are sequels though so proof of concept has been established and generally sequels are more expensive. So with inflation adjusted and some P&A, you could see $1B make

Either -Titanic and Avatar (Amazon would be pumped for this outcome)

Or - John Carter and Waterworld (Amazon would be less happy)

Realistically you might get, a few decent movies, but a billion isn’t really that much all things considered. Especially when Amazon Prime is generally viewed as the streaming platform with some of the worst content.

Edit: P&A stands for prints and advertising (usually 50% if a films budget)


BudgetCow7657 t1_ixirg38 wrote

I can't be the only one who thinks the upcoming avatar movie is gonna bomb like crazy.


dev1359 t1_ixje9mm wrote

Highly doubt it's going to bomb, ticket presales already have it tracking for a $175M+ domestic opening and China just approved the movie for release over there.

No matter how good or bad the movie ends up being, I would never bet against James Cameron. We've already learned this lesson twice when people thought both Titanic and Avatar were going to be box office bombs.


Spot-CSG t1_ixjlxdz wrote

I think the CGI (the big selling point of the first one) isn't gonna blow anyone away. We were playing modern warfare 2 on Xbox 360/PS3 when the first one came out. I can't see the visuals being anything out of the ordinary so its gonna have to fall back on its story...

I dont think its gonna bomb financially. I just think its gonna kinda suck.


Awoawesome t1_ixr4vjm wrote

The second one actually looks like it took another leap graphics wise, but if the story isn’t good that’s when number 3 has a lot to make up for as they were produced simultaneously


_one_lucky_redditor t1_ixih9fs wrote

They blew 8.5 billion earlier this year to buy MGM.

Pepperidge Farm remembers...


loshopo_fan t1_ixir2bv wrote

I browsed through Prime Video last night, Skyfall was in the "Leaving Soon" section.


gnelson321 t1_ixkw6s5 wrote

What? After they just put the rest on? I’ve been watching the 007 movies in order. Hopefully someone else streams skyfall by the time I get there.


BigDickOriole t1_ixiaxmg wrote

Hopefully they've learned their lesson with Rings of Power and now know how much money you spend is meaningless if you don't hire good writers.


GetWreckedDJ t1_ixidwco wrote

I heard almost everyone praise that show, is it not good?


CrackedandPopped t1_ixii9f1 wrote

Not really no. It’s okay, but it’s not 500 million dollars good. It’s like a 6/10


Caraes_Naur t1_ixim6mi wrote

I, a moderate Tolkien fan, knew I would not watch it when I saw the first trailer. First time showrunners and Galadriel wearing armor telegraphed how bad it would be. Learning that they fired Tom Shippey (40+ year Tolkien scholar) from being a consultant was even worse.

I have seen well-argued, in-depth criticism of RoP covering writing, pacing, fight choreography, cinematography, costume design, and more. And that's not counting all the outrage videos addressing the numerous WTF moments.

The two showrunners are buffoons who couldn't write themselves out of a single strand of spider silk, never mind a wet paper bag.

Half the reported budget at most seems to have made it on screen.

Then there was Amazon pulling a bunch of shenanigans with online reviews. On top of that, they have not made a single clear statement trumpeting its ratings. Not one.


Spot-CSG t1_ixk8kvl wrote

Nah you sound like a far-moderate fan. They tried to go game of thrones with it with all the different story lines but they skipped the whole making you care about the characters part.


Rankine t1_ixijdtz wrote

It’s an ensemble show and the biggest issue is that 3/4ths of the ensemble plot lines really drag.

The one plot line that was universally liked actually didn’t have all that much meat to it, but the character interactions and acting were so good that you care far more about this side plot line than the main plot line.


iam6ft7 t1_ixily6n wrote

Is this your first day on the Internet? Rings of Power was so bad that Amazon throttled the reviews and literally deleted the bad reviews off IMDb which they own.

Search for it on YouTube. It was easily the worst show of the last few years.


Ahab_Ali t1_ixihah1 wrote

I only saw the first episode and thought it was meh. The stories and characters just were not as engaging as the Tolkien movies. And, sure it looked cinematic, but not $500M cinematic. The Mandalorian had a polished look as well, and cost 1/5 as much.


Spot-CSG t1_ixk89ab wrote

Is that 500m on making it or dies it include buying the rights and shit?


SlowMotionPanic t1_ixkgjbz wrote

The rights alone were $250m just for the indices more or less. That’s why they have to do all this bullshit dancing around because they didn’t purchase the rights to a lot of actual LOTR writing.

It seems so rotten that any other studio is accuse of money laundering. But this is Amazon; they are just more or less incompetent with filmmaking. They fucked with WoT in much the same way.

Amazon thought they would try a new marketing tactic known as fan baiting to get contrarians consuming their show. It didn’t work, and Amazon is covering their tracks because they overcommitted to this nightmare.

I’m a firm believer in giving a show at least 3 episodes to unpack. I think Amazon wishes more people did thag because they are still hiding their viewership data while HBO acts with transparency and gloats.


Therefirs t1_ixin1c7 wrote

Have you been living in a cave or something? Rings of Power gets shit on daily by the internet for its horrible writing, pacing and dialogue.

But what could you expect from people who act more like activists than writers of a multi-million dollar project.

And let's not even talk about what an immense flop it was and how much money was wasted.


Michaelmyers69420 t1_ixir5sk wrote

Who liked it lol everyone I seen made fun of it to hell. I stopped after 3 episodes it sucks so much. Even free its not worth it.


jeffreynya t1_ixify3k wrote

I enjoyed it. But I can easly overlook some bad writing and character issues if the story is decent. I could never review movies.


BigDickOriole t1_ixiet2x wrote

Some people seem to like it. I personally think it's the worst big budget show I've ever watched. Truly horrendous characters and writing.


StarBoto t1_ixieu5j wrote

It's alright, meh, mediocre as a series itself

People who really dislike, are just hardcore Tolkien fans lol


BigDickOriole t1_ixif5f7 wrote

I'm not even a tolkien fan, I just think the writing, characters and pacing sucks. I couldn't care less that it's not faithful to the lore.


Informal-Ideal-6640 t1_ixkgi9q wrote

It’s a solid show and I am somewhat excited for the second season but there is definitely a lot more to be desired and it is not an experience similar to the lotr movies. I think a lot of people really overexaggerate how bad it was but I won’t say that a lot of the points made by people are that wrong necessarily.


SpokenByMumbles t1_iximacd wrote

They’ve had some pretty good original content lately. The Boys, Terminal List, Reacher.


Whyisthissobroken t1_ixicigz wrote

Or they could buy Disney for the win! Beat out Apple.

Just saying...


Supreme_Mediocrity t1_ixigglu wrote

I feel like this is a fantastic representation of the absurd amount of wealth out there. Disney is a behemoth; 100 years of beloved content, massive tracks of land in Florida and California with hotels and the parks, several cruise ships, a literal island...

And there are a handful of companies that can reasonably buy it... Hell, Elon's net worth is larger than Disney's market cap.


4inalfantasy t1_iximzss wrote

Their tv show ROP suddenly comes to mind. Hm....


Therefirs t1_ixindee wrote

I can't wait to see all the failures they will poop out by trying to make a "message".


teoweald t1_ixih7rm wrote

Going by the TV output? No thank you, please, no


Dawnfreak t1_ixil4ul wrote

I can just picture Bezos on set in his tiny chair


randylikecandy t1_ixipggr wrote

How about investing on getting my Prime orders on time.


bryanwny t1_ixiqh0t wrote

Yeah, that's a thing of the past. On the first 3 search page results, EVERY item showed it wouldn't arrive for a week. Goodbye Prime!


LevelDosNPC t1_ixmd3ob wrote

Go work in a fulfillment center and ship it yourself


marion85 t1_ixjip5b wrote

A billion dollars? To make movies?😕

Not a billion dollars to raise the wages of their workers?😐

Or giving their drivers air conditioned vehicles?😰

Just gonna spend a billion dollars to add more movies to the literal metric ton of movies being made already?😡

Thanks Amazon...😒


colin8651 t1_ixjn7fq wrote

Why don’t you make content for your streaming service; it’s so sad on there.


AdDear5411 t1_ixk3609 wrote

Bezos saw Musk loosing tons of money and said "Hey! I want to get in on that!"


3nclav3 t1_ixiq75m wrote



Iyellkhan t1_ixiq7v1 wrote

this wont make as many films as people may think with a first impression, though if they're financing internally and not externally that is a bit old school and abnormal for the current era


Thiezing t1_ixixqss wrote

I'm guessing they will all be some kind of miserable dystopian story with a big mystery organization causing problems for miserable people. Oh, wait, that is every Amazon series they have on Prime.


sofasofasofa t1_ixixsgx wrote

Peeing in a bottle strikes back vol. 3


D-luxxxx t1_ixj0ziz wrote

Bury it.

Let it die.


w3bCraw1er t1_ixj981w wrote

Packages Never Stop…one of the leaked titles


bamfalamfa t1_ixjcn9u wrote

movie tickets sales were declining long before streaming became a thing


TheCh0rt t1_ixjhjx7 wrote

They have no idea what they’re going to do to appease shareholders and I love it. Welcome to the rat race you made, fuckers.


demoran t1_ixjhqxt wrote

Oh man, now I have to wait for them to come out on Betamax!


ghaelon t1_ixjsrml wrote

so long as they hire some decent writers, and not ones like those that wrote 'the rings of power' garbage.


birddit t1_ixjtfwz wrote

I really have a hard time hearing dialog in movies so I always watch with subtitles turned on. I believe the show The Expanse was picked up by Amazon. No subtitles. Thanks Amazon.


stackered t1_ixjyl8u wrote

oh my, what a dumb idea!


Curse-Bot t1_ixk3d2s wrote

Well that's not going to work


DreadPirateGriswold t1_ixkel0f wrote

"Amazon to invest $1 billion yearly to produce movies THAT DON'T SUCK for THEATERS"

FTFY...I hope.


SlowMotionPanic t1_ixkh02i wrote

$700 million on production, $300 million in relentlessly and proactively attacking the audience with accusatory statements. Amazon calls that marketing.


[deleted] t1_ixkxn5d wrote

I read this as “Amazon to invest $1 billion yearly for produce for movie theaters”


capitalismisokiguess t1_ixl80xe wrote

I ordered something on Amazon this morning and it arrived at my door at around 6:30 PM. I live in a major city but that's still impressive. Jeff gets shit done.

His business model might need some tweaking to eliminiate people pissing in bottles, etc. and eventually he'll have to do something about turnover otherwise he'll run out of people to hire. But when it sorts itself all out he will still be richer than all of us. The logitistical machine he and his people built is threatening to replace every single retailer on Earth.


Realistic-Duck-922 t1_ixled3t wrote

Could you please not do it in Hollywood? Maybe it's time for some competition there ya think?


Anon-fickleflake t1_ixln2fb wrote

Mark it, boys and girls: the nail in the coffin.


Gem-xtz t1_ixm3e63 wrote

Need more old school style 007 James bond films & games please


leanpork2015 t1_ixme3s8 wrote

Rings of Power Season 2 available only in theaters.


HeavensCriedBlood t1_ixk1kqn wrote

After Rings of Power's shitty writing? yeah no stay away


Uncle_Applesauce t1_iximd5j wrote

Heh.. 120 million to combat homelessness.. And 1 billion for movies... Our priorities will never be straight.


juptertk t1_ixk9rub wrote

Amazon is a publicly traded company, not a charity or a governmental agency.


Uncle_Applesauce t1_ixokt9q wrote

Ok? I'm still free to criticize their actions all I want. Please go away brownnoser.


Uncle_Applesauce t1_ixomd2z wrote

Also you can't act like more people that can afford prime is good for the company. Hasn't Amazon already wasted tons of money forcing down their entertainment sector at all costs? If it's publicity traded then it doesn't matter... If it's private then it doesn't matter matter. Your argument is mute and lacks any teeth.


Pay-Green t1_ixig9tm wrote

Hollywood/Movie industry is just going to get whiter got itttt