TIFU by backing my photos, endangering my gf's privacy

Submitted by pieceofshit_lol t3_11bce8l in tifu

TL;DR: Got nudes from gf, couldn't add them to the secret album of my phone so I tried putting them all in a new album, causing to upload all the nudes into google photos, now gf is mad insecure and I'm ashamed of myself.

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Throwaway because I need to get this off.

This happened some hours ago, my gf came over some days ago but we couldn't have sex since she was on her period but she promised to send me nudes. Today I came home from work and was feeling a bit horny so I asked her about it. She sends the nudes, I save them and get off to them. Afterwards, I tried to hide the pictures since my phone had a "private album" option. For some reason, it wasn't giving me the option to save them on that private folder. Here is when the fuck up happens.

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A quick google search told me I hdto synchronize with the cloud to use the private album. Thing is, my phone was a Xiaomi Redmi, which recenctly stopped supporting Xiaomi cloud (which was the ACTUAL cloud I had to be synchronized with). So my stupid ass says "well, let's back everything up" and starts synchronizing with google photos. Thing was, it didn't work, I still couldn't hide her nudes, so I had the brilliant idea of moving them to a new album and hide that album since it was my only alternative. Big mistake. Every single photo taken either by her or me during our long relationships ends backed in google. I said "well shit, just gotta delete them from here". No, you can't. Apparently if you delete them from any backing the photos just stop showing up on your phone gallery. I start panicking because I don't want even the most smallest sliver of a possibility that my gf's privacy is compromised, so I decided to delete everything and move the pictures to my pc in a folder. This might seem like the right move, except this process took more than 2 hours because my horny, stupid, testosterone fueled brain wanted to keep the pictures at all costs on my phone. So the pictures where on google for the whole 2 hours while I was frantically trying to figure out how to save them. I'm not a computer expert but I know perfectly well how any, ANY information on the internet can be recovered, so by keeping the nudes on the cloud for longer I endangered my gf's privacy more and more by the minute.

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Then it comes the worst part.

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I obviously tell my gf how I fucked up because not tellin her would be far worse, we always comunicate with each other and this was something serious and important. For some context, she didn't send nudes ever before our relationship, she even had some nasty experiences with guys taking pictures of her without her consent. She didn't even have penetrative sex, she is a very anxious person who can panic and freak out very easily. So obviously, this fires her alarms and starts feeling very anxious. I try to calm her down tryin to make it more casual, saying things like "don't worry, pretty sure I'm not important enough to get spyed for my pictures lol". I know, like an idiot. Take note this is all by messages, not a call, so everything is slow. I suggest that I completely erase the photos (at this point I already backed them on my pc and deleted everything from google and my phone). She says she's not sure because she knows I really like the pictures. I asked-again, like an idiot-if I could keep some. She said "Ok, let's go to discord and see whic ones we delete".

Then comes the most shameful and anguishing half hour of my life. We go through the photos (which again, are very explicit) of her and I select the ones I want to keep. I want you to take a minute and put yourself both on my shoes and my gf's. We are SELECTING nudes. The source of her anxiety and insecurity caused by my own mistake. I perfectly knew the correct thing to do was to delete them all. but I didn't, I didn't want to let go. Because I'm a horny asshole. Halfway during the process she starts crying. I'm mute, what could I say? I'm sorry? It was like she was a pice of meat and I was selecting the finest cuts. It was gross, awkward, shameful, and I still coulnd't make myself just delete them all. By the end I'm crying too, so she just says "goodnight, I love you". I try to quiet my sobs as she asks if I'm still there. I was devastated, I feel like I completely ruined our relationship -at least in a sexual way-. All the progress we did for her to open up and try new things to the trash can. She feels unsafe, exposed and used all thanks to me. I initially wanted to post this on r/AITA but I answered the question the moment after the idea came.

Insult me, give me advice, I don't care. I probably won't read anything, and won't reply either. Goodnight.

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Comments

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wakingsunshine t1_j9xkpni wrote

If it's on Google Photos... those aren't public???

490

SillyKing9012 t1_j9xl1x8 wrote

Yeah exactly, no one's digging through it unless you get hacked (if you have 2 factor authentication and everything, there is zero to no chances unless some vulnerability on Google's side).

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deathxcap t1_j9yj8mz wrote

Tell that to jennifer lawrence and kate upton and yhe other 240 people who had their private iclouds hacked and nudes posted publicly. Dude got 8 months but i bet hell be taken care of by donations from horny dudes for the rest of his life.

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SillyKing9012 t1_j9yrkr3 wrote

Which is why 2 factor authentication is super important to have. Which iirc wasn't as widespread back then when it occurred compared to today.

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Flossthief t1_j9z2kke wrote

2 factor authentication can be thwarted especially with Google's services

These clouds are just someone else's computer

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SillyKing9012 t1_j9z5dq9 wrote

Hence "Unless some vulnerability on Google's side". And Google will have every reason to make sure nothing breaks. Either way, OPs nudes would be the last thing an attacker would want during a data breach of Google's services

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DingDongShlongDan t1_ja13vb5 wrote

They're celebrities. It's not an easy thing to do to the point where you have such a slim chance of getting hacked as a non-celebrity, you might as well not even think of it.

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_oZe_ t1_j9yb9ed wrote

Yeah nobody interested in sex ever worked at google. Of course they don't have AI that knows what pictures are of XDD

Don't make porn if you don't want people to see it.....

−32

SillyKing9012 t1_j9yrvc4 wrote

Okay sure they can look at it, but once they distribute it that's a breach against privacy laws. And at that point you'll become a millionaire through lawsuits. I'd upload my nudes any day for that

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muddyshoe t1_j9yc4ft wrote

>If it's on Google Photos... those aren't public???

Came here to ask this! Not sure why OP is talking about the photos being public on the internet, because that's not how Google photos works!

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wakingsunshine t1_j9xkwz9 wrote

Also you could have just screenshotted the photos and deleted them so they still existed.

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FruitIceCream2000 t1_j9xwa8m wrote

If the OP's google account is used by someone else in his family or is logged in to other device, then the images will be accessible. That's the scary part of this post imo. Imagine trying to explain these pics to your family.

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moondeli t1_j9yg2pn wrote

Google has some very quick and easy settings to adjust who can see what. This whole post is one big giant waste of time lol, there is no fuck up.

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Spiderfffun t1_ja0jqzf wrote

The fuck up is overreacting to his girlfriend.

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MrChong69 t1_j9y8e27 wrote

who has a shared google account with his family?

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Ghost17088 t1_j9y9znp wrote

My wife has a shared Google folder with my mom so she can share all the pictures of our son.

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OkWatch4399 t1_j9yb6t2 wrote

And for that to you you have to specify the photos you want in that shared album, not your entire Google photos

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mangobutter6179 t1_j9ztazz wrote

this reminds me of photobucket approx 14 years ago...you could share a pic in your album by selecting the specific URL for the photo. album as a whole was private.

so you would think sharing just that link would allow anyone with the link access to only that photo

the glitch was that once you visit that link, u could click the album & all the content in the album was available to see

0

AcheronTourist t1_j9xlyuu wrote

So basically nothing happened and you feel bad for not knowing how to do something you could have learned from Google. You can pick which folders are synced by Google photos.

You two are clearly 15 or something.

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Caidynelkadri t1_j9ypp5c wrote

Surely a 15-year-old knows how to use a smartphone better than this though, that’s the only reason I’m confused

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nuggetwater t1_ja03twe wrote

read the phone name. seems likely it's SEA. higher end smart phones are very uncommon and having one at all even more so. not many over there understand what a vast resource these pocket computers are. redmi is near exclusively available in Asia

edit: guess i have to clarify teenagers with phones tend to not understand their full potency since people want to turn this into racism. i'm not calling asians dumb lmao. see below comment for more clarification.

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PlatinumTheHitgirl t1_ja09c52 wrote

Noo? You're speaking out of your ass. By "higher end smartphones", I'm guessing you mean Iphones? They are definitely available in Asia, but are not as popular because there are so many other options which are better and cheaper. And you did not just say that people in Asia don't understand how powerful a smartphone is lmaoo. Asia is home to some of the biggest tech giants in the world. Most of the people have smartphones. People there aren't dumber than the west. Shut your mouth if you don't know what you're talking about.

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nuggetwater t1_ja0qyq3 wrote

higher end smart phones as in anything 1000$+. i studied in Tibet for 4 months. i'm not "speaking out of my ass". and youre completely controlling the narrative for no reason.

smartphones are not as common in SEA. there are tons of under privileged families that dont make enough to own them. smartphones are highly stigmatized as a sign of the rich and some families just look down on them because of what they represent via the stigma.

who the fuck compared intelligence? they dont have the same access. not many young kids who are lucky enough to have the phone quite understand all the capabilities. i've experienced this first hand communicating through google translate with a few kids (who had smartphones) asking for directions.

they were shocked.

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PlatinumTheHitgirl t1_ja0z444 wrote

I'm not controlling the narrative. I replied only based on whatever you wrote.

I'm Asian and I've lived in Asia for 20 years. I'm pretty sure I know about the people and their lifestyles more than you.

And yes, smartphones are common. That might not have been your experience in the 4 months you were in Tibet, but most people, even underprivileged families, have smartphones. There's many smartphones available in Asia that are both cheap and provide a lot of features. You can get good smartphones for as cheap as $150. $1000 phones are also available but are obviously not as popular.

You did compare intelligence, and you're doing it again. "not many young kids who are lucky enough to have the phone quite understand all the capabilities". Yes, they do. Most people know what their smartphones are capable of. You saying that Asian kids for some reason don't is racist. It has nothing to do with having the same access. They have a smartphone, they explore what it can do. Why should they know less than kids elsewhere?

Stop generalizing all of Asia based on whatever experiences you had in your short 4 month stay in Tibet. I'm not saying your experiences are false, but they obviously don't apply to a whole continent.

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nuggetwater t1_ja251rf wrote

Generalizing asia? its poverty rates are among the highest in the world. i wont apologize for you being privileged enough to live in a nicer part of Asia but people in Thailand, Tibet, Indonesia, and so many more with poverty rates in the double digit percentiles disagree with your sentiments. this is my experience.

You may have lived in Asia for 20 years but i traveled it for 3 and have probably seen more than you. i used Tibet as a main example because i thought you may have been able to recognize one of the poorest places in Asia and thought "oh yeah that makes sense". but seems not.

lastly. your statement on racism is redundant. anything thats less common is less understood. thats that. its not only smartphones. this applies to the internet as a whole. places where it was less common despite having full access to it neglected its ability to infinitely ease their lives. thats why the countries latest to adopting it tend to lag behind China, U.S, and Europe.

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PlatinumTheHitgirl t1_ja286d2 wrote

I don't know what kind of stubborn ignorance it takes for you to say that you've seen more of Asia than me. You can't be seriously comparing your experiences as a traveler to mine, someone who was born and has lived there for most of her life, right? And are you really gonna make assumptions on how privileged I am when you know absolutely nothing about me? I'm from one of the poorest countries in the world. Thailand, Tibet, Indonesia? My country is poorer than them combined. Believe me, I know poverty. I never denied Asia has high poverty rates. I know that better than anyone else.

All I'm saying is that there's a myriad of cheap smartphones here. So cheap that even the extremely poor can afford them. And because they have access to them, they know how to use them. You say that Asian countries lagged behind the west in adopting to smartphones and the internet. I don't deny that. But I don't know when it was you travelled across Asia, because in recent years many Asian countries have developed exponentially when it comes to technology, and some of them barely lag behind the west, if at all.

Your argument is rooted in ignorance. You say that since smartphones aren't common, people don't know how to utilize them to their full potential. But the very basis of that argument is false. Smartphones are very common, and people know how to use them. And yes you are generalizing. You're applying your limited experience to all of Asia. That's what generalizing is.

I think arguing with you is pointless, though. You seem set on believing your view is the right one, and there's no amount of effort I can put into changing that. If you're really determined to believe your experience as an outsider grants you more knowledge about this place than someone who grew up here, go have fun with that.

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lil-dlope t1_j9yt2py wrote

I hope cause then they’re dumb adults

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Mzxonyoutube t1_j9ytw4x wrote

They changed how to hide photos on an iPhone in a previous update, I’ve only recently learned how to do it. Click on picture/open the picture, tap the three dots in the top right corner, go three down on the Dropbox and click hide. :)

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reapseh0 t1_j9zeymm wrote

I scratched my head more than once aswell while reading this

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justscrollingforever t1_j9xz3w2 wrote

Am I missing something? Google photo is your own private cloud. So you moved the photo from one private cloud to another (xiaomi to Google). It's not public, why are you upset? No one can see it. If you don't get hacked ofc, but that danger existed with both clouds.

The big fuckup is ofc picking and choosing picture with your girlfriend. Talk about being hurtful.

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Layne205 t1_ja3036a wrote

Sorting the pics is so confusing. How in the F is deleting some of them going to help?

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cm293954 t1_j9xjjrz wrote

Yeah the main fuck up here was in cherry picking the photos to keep, you had so many opportunities where you yourself even went "this is a bad idea, don't do that" and then you did it anyway. And then she's sitting there crying feeling like you care more about looking at some picture of her body than about her feelings as a person, and then you're crying (hope to fuck she didn't hear that, she doesn't need the guilt trip) and you still. Don't just. Delete the photos to make her feel better.

I'm gonna assume you guys are on the younger side because this is the kind of dumb horny mistake a young man makes. And cause freaking out over a Google backup locked to your account is a bit much. The important thing here, apologize let her know you know you messed up and that it won't happen again. Don't ask for nudes again, maybe get creative with texting if you're that hard up. Yeah you messed up, but you can learn from this (listen to the BIG brain next time) and it sounds like you two do actually care about each other so you'll probably be fine.

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Caidynelkadri t1_j9yqiej wrote

Yep, all or nothing. Not sure why he involved his girlfriend in that part anyways. You’re being honest about the situation, it doesn’t mean she needs to do it with you

“I’m sorry” and “I’m going to delete them all” or “I’m going to move them all to a secure location”. Going through them like that with the girlfriend was the worst option

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hamsterpopcorn t1_j9xb7f8 wrote

While choosing the photos was definitely not the right move and they should have just been deleted altogether…

Please, please, please, if you REALLY don’t want your nudes getting out and you’re scared of having them leaked, just don’t send them. Or at the very least, do something that deletes itself like Snapchat (since it’ll also notify you if someone screenshots) with someone you trust to not pull anything sneaky around that to capture the image.

Even people with good intentions, like OP, can still risk those nudes getting out there without necessarily meaning to.

Too big of a risk with major consequences.

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vaguegeneralitiessss t1_j9xc2up wrote

Yes!!! Do not place yourself in a position to be uncomfortable with your own photos Realize anything captured on phones or videos.. even just yours.. isn't safe. Be comfortable and aware always of your image and where it may can be.

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physco219 t1_j9yf6ww wrote

Stating the obvious here but there are programs that can take a screenshot and Snapchat hasn't a clue so it doesn't report it to you. Also someone could easily just use another camera or phone camera and get copies that way. The only way to prevent leaks is to not send in the 1st place.

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hamsterpopcorn t1_j9z7px2 wrote

That’s why I also said with someone you trust to not pull anything sneaky to capture the image, I was referring to that. But you are correct, the easiest way is to just not send them in the first place.

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physco219 t1_ja12v14 wrote

I was agreeing with but pointing it out for the few less savvy with tech because of the reference to Snapchat is all.

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hamsterpopcorn t1_ja13325 wrote

Probably helpful for people to know the ways around it and have that information, thanks stranger!

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physco219 t1_ja18kaf wrote

While I am highly tech-savvy (don't ask I signed an NDA) I know a lot of others who aren't. They can be younger or older or even my age but I am the go-to and the 1st to be called when they see something on FB or if their computer is acting weird. The last convo I had with a friend in her 80s was "my camera on zoom shows my door on the wrong side, how come and how do I move my door." It was just a flipped video and had me laughing for the rest of the day, but I walked her thru fixing her door without her realizing the entire video was flipped. Only after did I explain and it made sense when I asked her about photos with writing she had taken a long long time ago. So I try to point out things that are obvious to many but many others go "oh I didn't think of that. Just so happened that your awesome comment tweaked my need to add my insight and share the 411.

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hamsterpopcorn t1_ja199kk wrote

You know, saying that just makes me want to ask...

Must admit I'm definitely not the most tech savvy. I grew up with technology so I know how to navigate it, but I couldn't tell you how a lot of things work. Input like yours is always much appreciated, especially when considering horny teenagers who don't realize the danger of sending sexual pictures and videos!

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Solid-Effective-457 t1_ja00zmm wrote

Also confused as to why he was so adamant that he couldn’t delete them. Like why couldn’t he have said “hey I absolutely loved those photos and while trying to save them, I accidentally uploaded them to the cloud, your privacy trumps everything so I immediately deleted them. I’d love to have a few more for the future because I love being able to be intimate looking at you when we can’t be intimate together”? She was willing to send them once, she’s probably willing to do it again. Tell her that you love her and love her body but for fucks sake don’t make her sit and decide which ones are “keepers” with you

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hamsterpopcorn t1_ja015pl wrote

True, does she still have the nudes on her phone? Either way, she can just take more. Really confused why this happened the way it did.

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Solid-Effective-457 t1_ja01lj8 wrote

Precisely. Odds are she still has them unless she deleted them AND deleted them from her recently deleted. Plus taking more isn’t that hard. She already sent him some which says she trusts him, I guarantee after the way he handled this situation, she will not be sending any more for a veryyyy looooong time

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vaguegeneralitiessss t1_j9x6a4m wrote

Um...

If you take naked pics...

They are out there. I would not be guilting you. Ladies... they are boobs, butts and vaheenas. Calm down

Signed A 43 year old lady that learned it isn't worth it yo. Intention is so much. Taking and distribution of my naked form leaves things to chance. Carpe diem or stop sending nudes

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BackOfTheHAT t1_j9xfqlh wrote

Actually, i think you shouldn't send nudes to each other anymore.

If you wana wank use your imagination. That second half tells me you have a problem. They are just pics. Let them go! You can wait a few days to see your girl irl.

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Zikkan1 t1_j9y1bpk wrote

It is great that you feel this way, nudes are an insane show of trust so you shouldn't take that lightly but I feel that you have misunderstood how the cloud works and backing up photos. These photos are not public, they are only available to you, you can make them public but even then people need the link to your page to see them so the odds anyone could have seen them even if you had them up for 2 years would be miniscule, 2h is just you being VERY paranoid. Sorry to say this but you talking to her about this only made her worry about something that was completely risk free.

But if both of you are so paranoid about having nude on the Internet then why not get a cheap Polaroid camera and do a little photo shoot, could be really fun.

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mike_is87 t1_j9xqo8d wrote

Are you in Europe? Asking becauase the privacy laws in EU make you the owner of anything you upload to the NET and legally not even the host or vendor of the service you are using can access, see or share what you upload into your personal account. So if you are in EU those pics were never compromissed. In other regions I don't know how it works.

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wakingsunshine t1_j9xr06v wrote

Same in the U.S. actually, Google Photos is private unless you share them externally on purpose.

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Foktu t1_j9yfve2 wrote

This needs to be a reason why people don't like Gen Z.

Because they're actually terrible with technology, lol.

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g0dfather93 t1_j9z2pf3 wrote

Is this couple seriously thinking that uploading to Google Photos (personal drive) puts those photos up for the world to search through or something? Because.... that's not how it works. I'm confused now.

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Layne205 t1_ja30udv wrote

I think he thinks the same hackers that get celebrity's nudes are also working tirelessly to find idiot teens who had their nudes up for 2 hours and hack into those? But deleting some of the less desirable pics will somehow thwart this process??? The thinking in this post is pretty hard to follow, honestly.

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mat-2018 t1_j9yasp6 wrote

you're a nobody, and thus your stuff is safe. google storage is so uncomprehensively massive and secure that the chances of someone 1) hacking it 2) getting YOUR specific information among the terabytes of user data is essentially zero. i'm not saying you should go put your passwords online or whatever, but imo, if you're not a millionaire, government employee, or CEO, your data is safe.

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obamothanos t1_ja0g9lk wrote

OP has successfully told us not only how inept he is with modern technology, but also that he is seriously not ready for romantic relationships

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NMEChachi t1_j9ytj9h wrote

I recognize this is unnecessarily harsh, but as one who’s always struggled with even getting into relationships, it will never not piss me off watching the way luckier guys take them for granted and spike the bag into the ground so hard it gets stuck there.

The massive fuckup here is being so unbelievably horny that you can’t go without photos for three days. People are saying “this is what horny guy brain does,” but it really isn’t. I have experienced horny guy brain. If it is, please seek therapy. Only an extremely immature (or young) guy would pass this many “I know I shouldn’t do this but” checks in his head over a couple of nudes. Assuming the story is true the way you tell it. Imagine causing a major problem in your relationship that leads to both of you crying over what is basically nothing (these photos aren’t public or anything) because you can’t keep your dick in your pants for five minutes. Making your girlfriend watch you pick photos of her so that you don’t have to jack off with porn, or god forbid your imagination alone, on rare days in the future. If this does spell the beginning of the end of it, do me a favor and don’t be such a fucking idiot when you luck into another one

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ChiefTestPilot87 t1_j9yhphg wrote

Google and Xiaomi…you privacy is “secure” 😉

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-Cinnay- t1_j9ylmva wrote

So one cloud is perfectly fine but a different one is the biggest mistake of your life? Am I missing something?

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DingDongShlongDan t1_ja13jsx wrote

Honestly... you're VERY safe with google photos. Not only because the photos are private, but also because there are hundreds of millions of people that have nudes in google photos. Unless you or your girlfriend are some kind of celebrity or public figure, or you have a lot of people that hate you, you are completely safe. If you set up two-factor-authentication, you're even safer. Truly, I'm sorry to tell you, all of this was for nothing. (This is coming from a tech guy that knows what it takes to get private information from someone btw)

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Nebulaires t1_ja1albt wrote

Man this dude is fucking DUMB. Allllll the way to the ending.

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kromaticorb t1_j9xhf79 wrote

My brother in laws hacked my accounts and went through my emails and cloud storage. The two places my wife's nsfw pics are. And they distributed the emails to their friends.

Not to mention the way they treated my children.

Cloud storage isn't the same as dissemination.

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amsalau t1_j9yh6mo wrote

Just delete the pictures ... no big deal.

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glenmcfarreddit t1_j9ywud4 wrote

You can absolutely delete them from the cloud just by using Google Photos on your phone.

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Neither-Candy-545 t1_j9z4ord wrote

How old are you two? This is such an easy problem to fix - fucking delete the pictures. Nudes etiquette is very clear: you get a nude, you enjoy it, you delete it.

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BabyyImaStar t1_j9znhds wrote

Google photos is perfectly safe! I work in a cellular store and help people transfer their photos daily...many of them have nude or x rated photos. Not a big deal.

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_Skotia_ t1_ja08xjx wrote

Bro pictures uploaded on cloud won't be seen by anyone who can't log into your account. So unless you are a total idiot who gave his Google password to other people, you' re safe. You deleted them literally two hours after that, nobody saw them except you and your gf.

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LogicMastermind t1_ja0iqcr wrote

Am I missing something or did you just say discord? Any pictures you put on disc are uploaded to the cdn, and anyone with the link can access it. not even requiring you to be hacked.

Anyways this is all a huge clusterfuck on your end not to make yourself feel even worse than you do now.

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mcbelisle t1_j9yzu9u wrote

i wouldn't use google photos. get a private cloud for photos. i got a synology a few years ago. it works great to backup photos

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linthegreat t1_j9z85hv wrote

More nudes will come with trust. The will to keep and the pain of going through which one to keep is so distraughting to the woman whom someone was supposed to protect her.

You should re-evaluate yourself and personally and physically comfort her not just through call or message.

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voododoll t1_j9z8ni1 wrote

See, I wen’t one day through my google and apple accounts. I saw that they auto upload photos and videos they think are important to me and keep them there. Mostly memes and screenshots, not a single nude from my phone and I have a lot of nudes on it. I still don’t trust them so I’ve disabled all syncs, backups, and sorts. And yet Google still backups some, even that I explicitly disabled those. Apple on the other hand didn’t upload or backup anything since I made those changes… buuuuut, when I connect my phone to a PC and give it permission to connect, and I open my camera folders all hidden pictures and videos are there and visible. I can’t go through my photos on a PC with anyone, because of this. Google and Apple had a lot to work on their privacy and security, tho. Especially Google. But bare in mind that a lot of the apps you give permission to read and write your albums, backup them on their servers for quick access. Especially apps like snapchat, tiktok, etc…

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greenie65 t1_j9zt5kz wrote

One solid takeaway: If you are worried about pictures getting out to the internet, probably a good idea not to send them.

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MRDBCOOPER t1_j9zt99b wrote

Lmao anyone who thinks Google is secure is smoking something. Google makes it money selling our information as it is an advertising company bottom line.

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IanFoxOfficial t1_j9zx7gx wrote

Don't sweat it. It's all encrypted there. Nobody at will see them unless they have your password.

And how were they sent? If it's with an online service then they were already on some other server anyway.

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DemonicSphynx t1_ja053a3 wrote

Dude this is so stupid. #1 she should NEVER be sending nudes if she isn’t comfortable with them being in your photo album. #2 both of your reactions are so child like

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MrsHavercamp t1_ja0c9kg wrote

I can tell you feel horrible about this. I know you feel like you effed up and you did, (can't lie, but it's just about selecting the "best" pictures really). The fact that you are so concerned about your girlfriend's body issues and you realized it as you were going through them is very telling. I don't think you're as horrible as you think you are. Hopefully your gf and you can move on from this together.

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CartographerOk3118 t1_ja0u5tz wrote

If they’re on Google Photos, they’re not public unless you upload them on places where you can actually do that lmao

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wojtekpolska t1_ja6ybfy wrote

Op, im not sure i understood, but what was the purpose of going trough all the photos and pick-and-choosing them?

i think that was the only fuckup here, and i dont even get why you did it? there was no need to go trough them in front of her

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DenielG t1_ja0ibah wrote

A true warrior shouldn’t be afraid of a smearing a little blood, my friend

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DrunkPhoenix26 t1_ja074cw wrote

You couldn’t have sex because she was on her period? If it’s because she’s not feeling well/uncomfortable, fine. If it’s because you’re squeamish about it, grow the fuck up.

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Vekxin_Sama92 t1_j9x7s2t wrote

What is she mad about??? They’re backed to an account that only you have access to and is literally no different than if they were just sitting on your phone, honestly the account would be more secure than just on the phone anyway so she’s essentially upset for nothing, guilting you for nothing and messing with your mental state because she’s not using reason to understand that there is absolutely nothing to be upset about

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Eraevn t1_j9xay0v wrote

Every hear of the fappening? Or any celeb icloud hack? His password gets snagged in a phishing incident or a data breach on another site puts anything backed up to the cloud at risk. Technically more secure on the device, because of outside of it being stolen, he can directly restrict access, although as long as it has internet access it too is vulnerable, people just don't consider that aspect.

Plus it takes a certain level of trust in sending nudes, simply because you have to have complete trust that they won't send em to buddies, putting them on the internet, or if a bad split sending them to friends and family.

Sounds like you need a lesson in internet security and empathy. She isn't making him feel bad out of malicious intent, she is coping with significant insecurities being triggered, and is justified, because even if the risks are microscopic, they aren't 0.

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Vekxin_Sama92 t1_ja3j0iq wrote

Not gonna lie empathy is lost on me at this point cuz I’m honestly going to always look at self accountability, like what did you do to put yourself in this position and why did you do it?

As far as internet security goes I know quite a bit about it, seeing as I literally just finished SEVERAL courses on the the topic and related, so. It all boils down to if they’re someone who uses the same pw for every site, do they use generated pws that are more complicated, do they routinely update them, etc. your standard person sadly doesn’t do all of that but it still ultimately falls on them. Not someone else. The last thing I have to say on this is if you’re gonna send nudes and you trusted them enough to it in the first place, then hold that trust steadfast instead of getting paranoid, you lost that reasoning soon as you tapped send on the booty pic

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vaguegeneralitiessss t1_j9xboqp wrote

This is precious If you send a nude as an actual adult be prepared for it to go to anyone. Even your douche bf who will make you cry whilst perusing them. Yall some real weirdos. She should not be taking and sending these pics. She's not there. She's uncomfortable. She's doing it though. So I'm confused. Why are we supposed to feel anything but.. what even is this post but a boys way of talking about he has nudes and wanted to save them and because he is so new to technology doesn't get the moment they leave and travel t9 him... They are fair game. They are out there. If someone is gonna hack his anything sweetie trust they will get alllll the things worth having. And if someone is so personal and dedicated to getting the naked pics he has... they will get them. Why this dude made her go through knowing this dumb shit and then... picking through them until she cried...

That's the real mystery/interesting bit

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Eraevn t1_j9xnr2c wrote

That is the true fuck up part, should have dumped em and called it a day rather than awkwardly going through them like that.

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vaguegeneralitiessss t1_j9x8q4r wrote

Thank you.

Sounds like some lil ones that don't need to be snapping photos and sending much less on discord choosing ones and crying goodnight

Sorry but.. this seems super young and just.. Odd

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vaguegeneralitiessss t1_j9x6ptm wrote

Also bro Why ever say anything? If you were so sure nobody else would see or know.. That part was shitty of you. What's up with that is way more interesting than any chick taking any nude and anything after with the photo.

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pieceofshit_lol OP t1_j9x70jc wrote

As I wrote, this was something serious. I wouldn't keep things from my partner, ever, specially a sensitive topic like this.

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vaguegeneralitiessss t1_j9xa18m wrote

One last contribution to this... odd post

Being a serious mature adult partner is more than keeping things from one another or not.

A true partner doesn't engage in harmful behavior. Not that I think what occurred was but you two kiddos seem to think it may have.. Nice of you to declare you don't hide things from your partner but the real adults.. Don't do dumb shit like this and then feel the need to seek reassurance or responses online. That's why I said that part was more interesting. Why you felt the need to save them then in a way that you knew would upset her tell her about it and go on discord and pick out some to keep till she's crying good night?

Seems really..healthy and awesome and mature? /s

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vaguegeneralitiessss t1_j9x8fvm wrote

But... Being an adult means you know the moment you send a photo out it's out.

There is zero reason to panic with a cloud. Saving. Whatever. It is out. And if you are so traumatized that you are on discord crying picking photos..

Perhaps neither of you are ready for that level of technological exchange. You are never safe in the world of pictures be they on the cloud or phone or printed. Think before you do. And if you really love someone don't hurt them because you wanna keep something they already sent to you on an unsecured platform by talking about how you messed up. Just save your stuff and move on. It's not hiding. You didn't sell her photo or post it. You didn't open it to the masses any more than her sending it did.

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Eraevn t1_j9xb5fe wrote

Communication is key in a healthy relationship. He done fucked up, but he came clean about it. Fucked up after coming clean too, but thats a separate issue. He breached trust and opted to take the L rather than add to it.

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vaguegeneralitiessss t1_j9xbvwz wrote

How???? Seriously how did he breach trust She sent photos to him They are out there. Once you send a photo out what happens after isn't a guarantee and that's why I say these kiddos aren't ready for this level of technology

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