TIFU update: my mum saw me sending nudes to an internet stranger and is now trying to get me to marry him

Submitted by FlowingMonsoon t3_11e8qco in tifu

Edit: This is update for this post from last week.

My mom was not talking to me at all since that happened. Sigh.

My dad upset me for unrelated reasons, so I was upset and crying in the bathroom alone. My mum saw me storm off and felt bad. So she came to console me and hug me. Often our arguments will resolve when she sees me sad and so she ends up in her protective mom headspace instead.

So she spoke to me about the other issue and consoled me. But then asked me if the man is coming on the weekend with his parents to discuss getting married. Now I asserted that I didn't send the nudes to anyone. It was just for myself. She said she didn't believe me, but she was being a bit less aggressive and softer than before. I said that I really didn't, they were just for myself because I like looking at myself. (This is a lie but what else can I do?)

She said I need to swear on her life. Which eek I didn't want to but I don't believe it really matters, and the alternative is getting married off soo...I said I do. She held my hands and made me say that. She said she doesn't believe me still, but that she'll drop it. She is pretending it didn't happen now.

I guess the weekend will come and go, without any marriage proposals. I am still a maiden. Yay. Being a lot more cautious now..

TLDR: Mom dropped her insistence that I get married to a random internet stranger after I swore that my nudes were just for myself. I think she wants to pretend it never happened, and will just pretend it didn't.

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elizabethjanet t1_jadh4ex wrote

Saw this story before, this is still messed up.

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I_see_something t1_jae2cbg wrote

Yea don’t really think it’s real but whatever. If it is I hope she’s alright

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TroyFenthano t1_jaea14e wrote

Tbh, I’ve met people like this irl living in a conservative American town. I’d bet it’s a religious/Christian thing

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evd1202 t1_jaej6y1 wrote

This reads like a muslim or indian girl, not a Christian

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TroyFenthano t1_jaevd57 wrote

I’ve known plenty of Christian moms who feel the same way and push these sorts of beliefs on their kids, specifically daughters. Truthfully, I think there’s more overlap in the conservative extremism of all religions than we often think

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I_see_something t1_jaeav6a wrote

I’m sure you are correct. It’s just sad she has to face that.

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TroyFenthano t1_jaeb557 wrote

For sure. I hope OP is alright and that she can get to a more comfortable and safe living situation

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D34th_gr1nd t1_jadklns wrote

Tell your mom that you're going to marry me instead. It's an open marriage of course, and we don't plan on meeting irl.

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emptybottleofdoom t1_jaf4h38 wrote

Cam I be best man? I promise not to show up either, and I'll forget about this pretty quick.

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yumirow t1_jadlkvz wrote

This, who wouldn't let their daughter marry D34th_gr1nd ? It s not even a question really

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thrway_aabb1122 t1_jadpnss wrote

One of the hardest things about some highly conservative cultures is that they are often unclear about just how dangerous certain behavior is. They will say things are "sinful" or "forbidden" or "disgusting", but won't be clear about what the consequence is. Will you be ignored for a while? Will you be forced into a marriage? Will you be beaten? Worse (honor killings do still happen)? There's no book of laws that details which things are prohibited and what the possible consequences will be. A person with a semi-supportive family might be cloistered, a person with a less supportive family might be ignored until someone snaps.

You are on a forum that does not understand just how dangerous this could be. Few people from such conservative cultures are on reddit, and they don't talk openly about this stuff anyways. I doubt you know what the possible consequences are. Please be careful. If there is safe help to be had, find it. If escape is possible (it is if you are in a democracy, but other countries may have support organizations), consider it.

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FlowingMonsoon OP t1_jadqbxk wrote

"you are on a forum that does not understand just how dangerous this could be". That is very true, people have accused me of lying because this sounds so bizzare to them. When in reality, far worse happens to many others. My family tend to be fairly vague about consequences, so I can never know for sure what could happen. I am thankfully seeking help though.

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Laspz t1_jaehhpc wrote

Show her your onlyfans and tell her "he is but one of many.. your move mom"

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ArtofWASD t1_jacs77y wrote

Woof... is this like a tradition or religious thing? Would you have had to marry a peeping tom? Or someone who walked into the wrong locker room? Or is this more so just an extreme reaction in an attempt to scare you off of sending nudes entirely.

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FlowingMonsoon OP t1_jacsqwo wrote

Honestly I'm not sure if it's more traditional or religious. I think it's based on the religious idea that premarital sex is not allowed. So if I have sex with someone I'd have to marry them. So if I choose to sexually engage with someone in any way I should marry them.

I'm not sure if it was an extreme reaction to scare me off either. I stood my ground enough she dropped it. But it felt pretty real and genuine.

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JosKarith t1_jadmntn wrote

I don't know your family background but I wonder if this is your mum blowing this up to 1000% to scare you so you don't send anyone nudes.

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ArtofWASD t1_jact3nz wrote

What a strange world we live in... well. Good luck. Keep up your body positivity and what not. Be safe.

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Empire2k5 t1_jadhr40 wrote

Wasn't this just post like a few days ago?

Edit: yes it was after checking OP profile. You are one interesting individual to put it nicely.

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Verbenaplant t1_jae8eg7 wrote

I mean you don’t have to get married to anyone You don’t want to. Get a privacy glass protector for your phone.

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yassinox12 t1_jaeh0ib wrote

Out of curiosity and not to be judgemental or any sort of that, why you would send your nudes to some random stranger?

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FlowingMonsoon OP t1_jaeimhi wrote

I'm an exhibitionist so I enjoy showing my nude body to others for fun. I am not in a relationship, so I found people online to share them with.

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yassinox12 t1_jael4q7 wrote

I got your point, i think if you start a relationship that would be better. I think your mom is just threatening you -to protect you-, just stop overthinking that.

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jadonsvd t1_jaemdja wrote

in the best way possible Ur mom needs help

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anm767 t1_jae3rb8 wrote

Why is everyone ok with sending nudes to strangers?

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cech_ t1_jaef2wx wrote

or lying, she could have just told the truth and still said no to marriage. You cannot force someone to marry. Don't sign the paper.

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Verbenaplant t1_jae8jxn wrote

So what if the guy was like 70? Would you mum still insist on it? Good luck on him bringing his parents thow

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FragFrog101 t1_jadohoy wrote

Ask him to marry you and then show her the message where he calls you crazy and says he doesn’t even know you…and then break down in tears. That should buy you some sympathy

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Wheels9690 t1_jaea5fg wrote

You need to seriously run if you can... Nothing good will come from this type of life and honestly puts you in danger

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derliebesmuskel t1_jaecz8b wrote

So your advice isn’t ‘maybe don’t send nudes to strangers on the internet’ but rather ‘abandon the support of your family because they are obvious out to get you’? Amazing.

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AriesTheDesty t1_jaedvj0 wrote

Being in a toxic relationship in which someone tries to marry you off to a stranger is not support.

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Wheels9690 t1_jaewaca wrote

Her family is not offering support.

She is in a deeply and dangerously religious family.

If you can not see the potential danger she is in then you have never lost a loved one or friend to archaic mindsets.

She needs to escape the trap shes in.

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greenduck4 t1_jaejnum wrote

Is your mom 4 by any chance? Or what's the relation from nudes to marriage?

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lskerlkse t1_jad2o5c wrote

How'd your mom find out?

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FlowingMonsoon OP t1_jad5xsu wrote

She saw the photos on my phone. I've been pretty good hiding for years, but messed up this time.

Can read on my previous post here.

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GodsGreenGirth t1_jadw5sn wrote

i really hope your account is just a secret one where you post sexual…stuff because you can’t speak or discuss it in person and not just solely used to attract those who fetishise this sort of thing

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everyothernamegone t1_jae1la9 wrote

Thank god you weren’t raped, she might’ve tried to get you to marry your rapist.

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iloveembig t1_jaewvgt wrote

Plot Twist: I'll be at your place w/my mom this weekend.

Real talk though, sounds kind of concerning. Stay safe.

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JadedSociopath t1_jaeygak wrote

I’m glad you’re okay. Learn from your mistake and be a lot more careful!

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Imnotanad t1_jaezz3l wrote

If you are a minor in a conservative social structure, hold on. If you are at legal age to take your own decisions, then take one. The one that you actually want.

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Tre_Altrix t1_jaez7a5 wrote

Holy shit! Just saw the pic you posted on another subreddit. You look fabulous! Please post more.

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TasteFlavored t1_jacrz3f wrote

Youre both gas lighting each other. Quit it

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FlowingMonsoon OP t1_jacs6la wrote

What else am I meant to do, admit I sent nudes to a guy and get forcefully married?

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TasteFlavored t1_jacuosy wrote

Talk to your mother

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Cpt_Woody420 t1_jadk894 wrote

Her mother is trying to marry her off to a man on the other side of the world just because he's seen a couple nudes.

That woman cannot be reasoned with.

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