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Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jadbwdt wrote

Reply to comment by Hot-Tone-7495 in TIFU by cheating on my wife a second time by Odd_Ad_5639

She wanted to move anyway. What I did cause her to decide to move now without me. It’s what I deserve but perhaps not what my daughter deserves.

It’s not completely about finances. My wife has an apartment she can live in in her home country

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Hot-Tone-7495 t1_jadcg5q wrote

You cheated on her, that’s what. You broke up your marriage so you could get off, and put your own daughter in a tough situation because you’re selfish. That’s how.

If your wife is moving to this new country on her own accord, then she probably knows what she’s doing. You saying it’s not a good environment means nothing. Is it war torn? Oppressive? What’s so bad about where’s she’s moving other than that it’s away from you.

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Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jadcvmc wrote

It’s none of those things. My country has more freedom, more nature, a less oppressive culture.

Her country isn’t bad but I think mine is better.

This is all my fault. I’m not disputing that at all. My wife and my daughter will suffer because of what I did but I want to minimise the suffering my daughter experiences by providing her the best upbringing I or my wife can

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Hot-Tone-7495 t1_jaddl1r wrote

The best upbringing would have been with you and mom together, but you made the decision to screw her mother over and now you want to continue to do that? Do you WANT her to resent you? The way you speak sounds a lot like you just think you’re better than your wife. She (daughter) wouldn’t be in danger. Have you considered asking your daughter what she prefers?

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Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jadebmf wrote

My daughter is 19 months old and doesn’t have a voice yet.

My wife already resents me and for good reason. The last thing I want to do is hurt her more but I need to consider both my wife and my daughters interests

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Hot-Tone-7495 t1_jadhs0s wrote

Oh Jesus. You cheated when your wife had an infant?? And you want to take a child that young away from their mother? Good lord when does it stop getting worse?

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Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jadhxz6 wrote

I think you know it all now. I’m scum

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Hot-Tone-7495 t1_jadic8t wrote

So maybe make an effort to stop being scum instead of being… whatever this is?

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Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jadijjr wrote

I’m trying to do what I think is best for my daughter.

It’s not perfect and unfortunately it hurts my wife but it’s the best I think I can do

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Hot-Tone-7495 t1_jadkr7h wrote

What’s best for your very young daughter is to be with her mother. If you truly want what’s best for your baby, try talking to your wife about maybe relocating in the same country. Work something out, but a kid that young needs it’s mother.

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Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jadmxk8 wrote

Wife is relocating to her country. That’s non negotiable unfortunately. Daughter is young now but i need to make the decision based on her whole life not her current age

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Hot-Tone-7495 t1_jadpita wrote

Sigh. I’m really sorry you’re this way. If your account of this story is this bad I can only imagine your wife’s side.

You have an opportunity to change, you really do. But the entirety of your responses are “my hands are tied I guess, I know I’m an asshole but gosh darn it, I’m doing what’s best for me I mean my daughter!!

I really sympathize with your wife. You’re emotionally manipulative and you seem to know it but have no idea how to stop being that way. I hope this thread was at least a little bit of a wake up call for you because the one suffering the most by your ignorance, is your daughter. Good luck dude, I really hope everyone in this situations lives improve

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Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jadpwzt wrote

I’m being 100% honest so my wife’s side is probably not too dissimilar from mine.

I’m as fked up as it sounds, but I can only try to do what’s best from here for my daughter

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Hot-Tone-7495 t1_jadq71s wrote

Again “my hands are tied”. You seem self aware only of your past mistakes but not of the ones you’re currently making. Which is probably why you cheated a second time after feeling “so much remorse”.

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Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jadr0qe wrote

My hands are not tied. I am making the best decision I can for my daughter. Unfortunately it hurts my wife.

I hate myself for what my wife has to go through but I need to put emotions aside and see what is best for my daughter

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BeckyW77 t1_jaeb070 wrote

We know you're scum. Your trying to take your child from her mother. You are actually willing to make her pain and suffering that much worse so you can claim you "love" your daughter more. Give me a break.

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