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HeatherKiwi t1_jadp3tg wrote

Look. If you end up getting full custody of your daughter (which you definitely don't deserve) odds are when she grows up she will resent the fact you cheated on her mom amd gave her a STI while pregnant and still insisted on taking full custody.

Get people to meditate a custody agreement or something if you won't do the kind thing and let your wife take her. You gave your pregnant wife a STI and still think that your daughter would have a better life with you. I'm sorry but no.

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Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jadplo0 wrote

You are right. She will probably resent me when I give the the truth eventually about what happened.

That doesn’t change the fact that I think I can give her a better life than my wife could.

What my daughter decides to do when she’s an adult is out of my hands. I can only try to let her have the best upbringing possible under the circumstances (which I am aware are completely my fault)

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HeatherKiwi t1_jadq4g3 wrote

Look. Money DOES NOT mean anyone would have a good life. They need love and care and to be brought up correctly. And that includes leading by example. Heck even if your daughter hears about it when she is a teen or younger you're gonna be in a world of trouble. Go for split custody at the very best (which you still dont deserve).

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Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jadqrz3 wrote

It’s not completely about the money. It’s the whole environment.

I know that I completely ruined this family and it’s my fault. That doesn’t prevent me from giving my daughter the love and care she deserves.

She may probably decide to walk away from me at some point. I deserve it. Until then I can only give her the best upbringing I can.

I would go for split custody if I could but the wife is 100% leaving for her country so that won’t work

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HeatherKiwi t1_jadr9va wrote

People still split custody in ways if they live in separate countries. Heck you could even have her over summers/holidays. Your wife has a better bond with her per your post and you want to take your daughter away from her. At this point it sounds like you are just trying to be spiteful to your wife. Your daughter will most likely walk away from you. Honestly it's not upto you about what the environment will be better or not that's your wife's home country and she should know if it's safe or not or suitable for a toddler to live.

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Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jadrztx wrote

It split custody would work id go for it but I know that when my wife gets on the plane I’m never seeing her or my daughter ever again.

My daughter is young and has a natural bond with the mother. I need to make the decision based on her entire childhood, not just her current age.

My decisions are definitely not to spite my wife. I am extremely sorry about what I have put her through and the last thing I want is to put her through more pain but I need to take the emotion out of it all and focus on what I think is best for my daughter.

She may very well end up hating me. I deserve no less. I can’t control that but I can give her the best upbringing I can and then let her make her decisions when she is old enough

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HeatherKiwi t1_jadsf05 wrote

You aren't listening to any commentors. I highly doubt any judge will give you full custody when they hear you cheated on your wife when she had a baby and then gave her a STI while she is pregnant. Congrats on the future irreparable relationship with your daughter. May she have a good life with your wife and future sibling.

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Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jadtcgu wrote

I’m listening. I hear all the hate and I accept all of it. I know this is all my fault and I deserve to die alone.

I can only do what’s best for my daughter. If I end up alone it’s nothing more than what I deserve. Until then I hope I can do as much for my daughter as I can

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