The way this was written gives me a headache

I think the whole issue starts when you can't seem to use the word porn. Maybe you're just not ready to have these kinds of conversations.

Joking aside, the only real issue here (you seem to like watching porn and not mind him doing the same) is the fact that he's effectively spending your money frivolously. That's the real conversation that needs to happen. Everything else I honestly think you're overreacting massively.

Hold up, the teen part on those sites means 18 or 19 and is super common and doesn't really mean much of anything. Search for that all the time, and it's probably a suggested search. Nothing really out the ordinary there.

The other part is a little less usually but probably a lot more common than what you'd think. Might just be an experimental and fantasy kind of thing and by no means does it in any way indicate he isn't attracted to you. He might just like some variety. It was just a search.

Sit down and talk to him about it if it bothers you. The other piece of this thought is that you did go snooping, so you'll also have to address that.

Again, I would not be freaked out about it.

As for the spending money thing that could be sticky depending on what you've already all agreed on as far as that goes. If it's only some of his own personal spending money, then oh well. If it's like a whole hell of a lot, then that's it's own thing and he may have an addiction and that's not cool if it's eating into other needed things and that would also be a talk.

It's not like this has to be over unless you really just think it needs to be.

Good god, I had a stroke trying to read this.

You’re 20 chill out and break up. Maybe he’s bi, maybe he’s gay, maybe he’s just exploring his sexuality and that’s all okay. It also doesn’t mean he’s not attracted to you. However, you’re not comfortable with and that’s okay too. The reason I mention your age is because it’s very young and there’s a lot of life and relationships to explore still. This one doesn’t seem like a good fit but it’ll be alright. Good luck, OP.

Punctuation does wonders OP

Is the relationship otherwise healthy, is he a caring partner, does he listen, do you feel supported, is your sex life ok?

If no - you have other problems and better reasons to leave. Take care of yourself!

If yes - leave it, people are entitled to their little secrets, like their choice in, err, corn. If it helps, the... cobs? Are usually (depends on how good moderation is on those sites, since they will typically purge illegal stuff) mature corn cobs actually. Probably your age in reality. The teen thing is cringe, but if you think this necessarily makes the guy a... seedling lover? ... it doesn't really.

Don't pry into other people's secrets unless you have really good reasons to suspect something harmful or criminal is going on and you're prepared to make an intervention. Nothing good ever comes of it, otherwise.

wait so what kind of corn does he like

There were two TIFUs in this post.

You can just write porn, you know?

Yeah, but, are we talking teen like 18 to 19 or something on a whole different level?

Wow.

What a post.

YOU Got a lot going on in your lil punkin’head right now. I suggest you not react for the next few MINUTES, HOURS, DAYS, and just take some deep breaths, bring your focus to the present.

& sit your ass down!

GOOD.

The sky is not falling my dear little fried chicken friend.

It seems like It may be, and there’s definitely some crazy clouds, thunder, and other shit, however, THE SKY IS NOT FALLING.

Eat some chocolate, drink a little bit of tea or “?”, take some Benadryl, and get some sleep.

You can read all these exciting comments in the morning after you’ve had a night to Decompress a bit.

Got it?

GOOD.

SEE YA SOON

I don't want to be this kind of gf - is exactly this kind of gf.

He obviously seemed anxious and insecure about his porn searches. He didn't feel comfortable talking about it and wanted to keep it private, you should respect that.

But you plowed right into his privacy and betrayed his trust. You fucked that relationship up, because of your insecurities. He might not break up, he might even forgive you. But the trust is gone, and with that any future this relationship had.

You felt the need to go in his phone - insecurity issues. You immediately thought you find out he may cheat - insecurity issues. Your first thought finding the stuff, that he doesn't find you attractive - insecurity issues. Girl you got severe insecurity issues that need working on, in this state you are not ready for a relationship

There's a lot to unpack here, OP. The biggest thing you will need to tackle is betraying his trust and went through his phone. That's not going to be a fun conversation for either of you. However, it's something that is going to need to be done if you want to continue in this relationship. And the longer you wait to bring it up the worse it's going to be.

It's a shame he didn't feel comfortable enough to open up to you but sexual preferences can be a touchy subject for people, especially depending on what the preferences are and what their upbringing is.

Now as to what you found, I would not be too concerned based on only what you saw. Just because he likes x doesn't mean he doesn't like y and z, too. I'm other words, what he searches for has no bearing on whether or not he's attracted to you. That's something you two will also need to discuss. There's no reason at this point to indicate that he does not find you to be beautiful, sexy, and attractive so please try to stay calm and keep an open mind when you talk to him. Getting upset will only make him want to close himself off.

Finally, the search term 'teen' doesn't necessarily mean you're too old for him, either. It may be simply that the teens of that group have a more feminine appearance for him.

I typed a lot, but what I'm trying to say is you need to talk to him and if you love him you need to be accepting of whatever he says to you.

Finally, though, if you two are living together and sharing expenses while barely making your bills and he's hiding subscribing to web sites that is not okay. He shouldn't be doing that and breaking your budget while you two are trying to build a future together.

Take a few breaths and calm down... He is probably bisexual in no way does this does not mean he is not attracted to you. Teen usually means 18-19 that is not necessarily a big deal (assuming he isn't watching anyone actually underaged).

If it bothers you THIS much you might as well break up with him but imo this is 100% overreacting. Also porn use does not always translate to what you want in real life, at least in my experience.

This is exactly why most men are uncomfortable talking about porn use with their girlfriends. Sorry if this sounds harsh it's just pretty common for people to have seemingly strange tastes when it comes to porn and does not actually mean he is not attracted to you or gay.

Something you may not know about guys, a lot of guys at least, is that we start viewing porn generally from our early teens, so, over the years that Man Woman porn doesn't do it anymore, you know, it can get stale and boring.

That is sort of the danger with porn nowadays, it is so varied that you can find some pretty intense shit.

This is basically a long winded way to say that he might not be gay, instead, the stimulation he receives from porn is numbed and to achieve that same level of stimulation that he used to, he views more and more intense shit.

It's like saying because you choke your partner during sex that you want to beat them outside of sex.

EDIT: Teen stuff is a buzzword in porn, it usually means amateur, not industry produced, even so, half those chicks look like their pushing 30. I don't personally seek out teen stuff, though it is pretty common in titles.

Well, girl, ya blew it. Never snoop if ya don't want to see something you are not able to handle emotionally. If you love him set up a fantasy night and surprise him with a realistic strap on. You say he likes anal...let's see how MUCH. You are the fembod. Fantasy's are often just that.

You're both poor, he asks you for money and he spends it for porn.

This is the important part.

"teen" means nothing too old, not kids. Maybe he's bicurious or maybe bi tout court, or maybe even straight with this kink, not all the craziness you're talking about. You're blowing this part out of proportion and not focusing on the important part, the money lies about it and subsequent broken trust part.

He's living off you while spending your money on his private things. Focus on this.

You lost me at "onlyhams"... I can see it now. Only $10.99 a month to see the spiral cut strip out of its packaging and baste itself in the juices...

So slow down on the assumptions about his sexuality and the world ending. For a lot of people porn and only fans is just a harmless fantasy.

On the other hand he may be pansexual and he hasn't told you. That doesn't mean that you need to break up. Unless you can't deal with it.

There are really two things you need to work through. One he's spending money on Only fans that clearly he doesn't have. That's a big issue.

And two whether you want to be with him and whether he wants to be with you.

If I was you I'd be glad he didn't look for some Grammar Nazi stuff.

The first step, for your own well being, a license will be a big source of empowerment and freedom for you. Look at driving classes in your area, programs are relatively cheap, with manageable schedules. The environments are low pressure, and they take you through the entire process of licensing. It is very low pressure, and will be very rewarding.

The main question is do you trust him. Are you worried he will cheat on you. It sounds like he’s just got a broader sexual appetite, and was understandably insecure about being honest with you about it. I mean, look at your reaction. If you love him, and you don’t have any intimacy issues together, maybe focus on ways to improve the situation. Maybe try watching the stuff he is into and see if you could share that with him.

Whatever you decide, it will all be ok. You guys are young. Even if you feel you have to break up, and you need yo Uber around for a while, you will always find ways to move forward.

I like corn too

This is Reddit, not TikTok. You can say porn. You can say OnlyFans. You can say sex, shit, fuck, goddamn, & Tiananmen Square.

Just as a tip, Reddit users like functional grammar. And you also don’t need to censor yourself. You can say porn. And OnlyFans. It makes it very hard to understand what you’re actually talking about when we have to decipher half of your text.

You won’t be able to get over that on your own, so might as well bring it up with him and then decide what to do.

[removed]

[removed]

[removed]

[removed]

[removed]

Maybe he’s bisexual? I’m sorry you’re going through it all right now

Don't read too much into what type of pron your bf is looking at. Maybe he's just curious or whatever. All forms of sexual preferences are available on the net and many check out types of pron they wouldn't prefer irl. You're both still very young, so both of you still have a lot to explore when it comes to sex.

As for the 'teen' part: that's very probably totally harmless. It's a category of young men/women, but all are (as long as it's a legitimate website) above the legal age, so no minors there.

As for advise, if you don't talk about this, it's going to leave a shadow over your relationship, as it's obviously bothering you deeply. So, the only thing to do is to be open about it and talk. Try not to be judgmental, but do state your concerns. After that, you can make up your mind on whether there is a future for the both of you or not.

I was gonna make a joke about who's gonna tell her he may be Bi but she already mentions that so like...What is the problem?

good ol corn, natures bookmark

I couldn’t finish reading it, but didn’t trust him, you invaded his privacy by first interrogating him about his viewing preferences, then later investigated confirming the funny feeling-red flags. Snooping on the phone was stage two of violating his privacy… I wouldn’t worry about what he thinks of you or if he finds out - there’s nothing to salvage - there was no trust. Best to move on. Also, you’re loaning money to someone who is spending it on something other than essentials, this isn’t a financially sustainable living arrangement.

Youre overthinking the shit out of everything and making a mountain out of an ant hill. Just talk to him

[deleted]

Get tested for STIs today, please. And stop financially supporting him if he's spending your money on OF.

The teen thing is yikes. Anyone who likes this stuff is a borderline pedo.