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Form84 t1_j9h0elm wrote

Religion and the lack thereof are something you grow out of, grow back into, then usually come to a realization more deeply about later in life.

It is COMMON for 18 yr olds to question their religion and the way they were brought up. It is COMMON to become an atheist at this age, just look at the trope of the angry college freshman. There is a reason for this and for you, the focus is your religion, but for many, it's politics, religion, sexual orientation, sexual identity, social status, or goals. This is just a short list, but I believe it's long enough for you to get the gist.

The point I'm trying to make is that at 18 yrs old, this likely feels like the first real step into your own skin that you've had or discovered for yourself. That's good, you should embrace it. But take some advice from someone who has walked your path, and is able to look back on it. It is very unlikely to last forever. When we shed the fallacies of our youth or past, we often turn around and remember them fondly years down the road. It is through this looking back that you can find the truth in the lesson of w/e it is you were pulling yourself away from. For you it's your religion, for me it was the expectations of my parents, for others it's something, and for some of us who are unlucky, they may never find it.

If you would allow me to, I would give you some advice. If not, please disregard the rest of this and just know that I wish you the best in your journey. If so, then I would say. Do not take unto yourself such rash judgements as the belief that this is a viewpoint you will carry forever, I find that this is rarely the case. Do not put the burden of such rash judgements on the feelings of others. In everything that you do, be true to yourself, but realize that does not necessarily mean everybody will agree with you. Loving someone, means understanding that they may not understand you, and loving them anyway. This is a difficult road to tread, but one that i find is usually worth the walk.

Best of luck to you, and I hope you find the way forward that helps you through your situation.

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rainystast t1_j9h6k2t wrote

I feel like your overall message is fine, but this idea that people just "grow out of being an atheist/agnostic" doesn't sit right with me. Many people are atheist or agnostic and stay that way forever, they won't necessarily "turn back" to religion once they get older.

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Form84 t1_j9h93qb wrote

If that was the take away from my message, then I feel i have miscommunicated. Please do not assume that I meant that OP should reconsider leaving or joining a religion based off of age, as that was absolutely not my intention.

I will summarize, don't make rash decisions, because decisions made at 18 are rarely decisions that last with us our entire lives. It is a very transformative time in our lives, and the knowledge of this is rarely communicated to the people going through it.

I hope that clears that up!

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TheTwilightMexican t1_j9h9z90 wrote

I think their point wasn't about religion specifically so much as that a fiery rejection of whatever one has grown up with is common in young adulthood, and often for reasons we don't understand, but that this emotion may cool in time such that a more reasoned look back throughout life reveals either overlooked things worth appreciating ... or more solid reasons to continue rejecting whatever.

Neither outcome is weird.

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Form84 t1_j9hl4p3 wrote

Thank you for summarizing my point better than I could

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FindingEmoe t1_j9kvqmm wrote

I mean a lot do it's common because it's more logical that God exists and we are part of it and the teen years are of rebelling and questioning. Sure there's plenty of people who stay athiest and the numbers are increasing but they're about to start dipping again and spirituality will be much more common now that the psychedelic revolution is happening and people are starting to wake up.

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Emergency_Bus_7989 OP t1_j9h1igk wrote

I am aware that what you're saying is very valid. I am aware that my ideas may change but I simply cannot see that happening. I believe (sometimes ignorantly) myself to be a very careful person, I like to think of what-ifs all the time, as a sort of preparation. Me returning to religion hasn't crossed my mind as a what-if, though. Although my talk with my mom has very much come over as a rash and sudden decision, my very first serious doubt of religion came about when I read a fictional book when I was 12. It has been very slowly and gradually eating at me that I cannot grow up like this. What seemed a few years ago like something I hoped to grow out of, in all perverted honesty, has now turned into a reality I have no choice but to embrace. The reality I speak of is not my belief or disbelief, it is the relationship between me and my family. I cannot and do not see my disbelief as something that may change. At least not yet, and because of that, I am afraid.

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FindingEmoe t1_j9kvfok wrote

I was extremely atheist and logical from 14 on I didn't believe in any god or anything I'm still very logical and the most logical thing is that "god" exists but you have to experience and see it for yourself and things will click

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MamaDee1959 t1_j9s5raw wrote

I feel so bad for you, because I know what it's like to want your parents' approval, (not due to religious beliefs in my case, but for other reasons). Are you in a position that you could move out on your own, because that sounds like about the only thing that you might be able to do now. If you are afraid of what your dad will say, you KNOW that at some point, your mom will HAVE to tell your dad, and that's when the other shoe will drop. (and maybe fly across the room and hit you in the head, like my mom did me--and that shit HURT!!)

Are you working at all? Could you and a few friends get a place together?? At least then, you could have some time to sort out your relationship with your parents, without the fear of being disowned, or put out, (which seems like what you might be afraid of. I would be). I don't know a lot about the Muslim Faith, even though I have a few relatives who belong to that Faith. I know in a lot of families that DO practice it, that the dad makes the rules, and they must be followed, or else. PLEASE be careful, and if you can go somewhere til things get sorted out, do it soon, so that your mom isn't stuck with this "secret" for too long. Good luck!

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