ixramuffin t1_ja78gul wrote
Just to give you another male perspective: I feel the same way about marriage as your boyfriend does, and I love my partner to bits. I would even argue that overly emphasising marriage is a big red flag, because to me that signals "I care more about the marriage than being together and loving each other".
Cerbera_666 t1_ja7hef1 wrote
I see women who are overly eager to get married as a red flag too, I show love in plenty of ways, and a contract isn't one of them. Divorce is messy and all too common, he's right to be wary of it.
ZeroRozuMagika t1_ja7tgn4 wrote
I think it all depends on the relationship. If when two people start dating, they have kids or are older, they may be inclined to get married quicker. Younger people are more likely to wait until they are 27-29 to get married. But as long as each partner is consenting, and there’s a healthy happy relationship there, I don’t think it’s up to outsiders to decide if marriage is right for them. I am realistic in that I know how important it is to consider all factors including that marriage is a binding contract. Divorce is ugly. Premarital counseling is important.
LambKyle t1_ja7x9vy wrote
Premarital counseling? I legit have never known a single person to do that. You go to couples therapy when you are struggling. If you are going to couples therapy before your married, that seems like the relationship isn't working.
ZeroRozuMagika t1_ja806bn wrote
No, it helps you ensure you are emotionally and mentally prepared for marriage. It also helps work out any kinks in your relationship. It’s proven to reduce divorce rates.
LambKyle t1_ja86lcx wrote
You shouldn't be getting married or even thinking about marriage until you already have that. Otherwise you are getting married for the sake of getting married.
ZeroRozuMagika t1_ja7sxqm wrote
Thank you for sharing, and I’m happy to hear you’re in a great relationship.
It’s not that I value marriage above all else in our relationship. Being together, caring about each other, and showing each other love in little ways are important. But it is something I would eventually want. It’s the ultimate commitment.
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