avast2006 t1_ja5st1h wrote on February 27, 2023 at 1:28 AM

Reply to comment by SilverLugia1992 in TIFU by not noticing an opportunity to flirt with a girl by SilverLugia1992

Someone out of the blue found you attractive. Ponder that for a moment. Not that you were distracted or closed off enough to miss the cue, but that she found you attractive enough to make an overture. That says you’re attractive.

Cons being what they are, she saw fit to express it flamboyantly. It’s entirely possible there have been other attempts since then that were more subdued to fit the circumstances. Consider that as a possibility, and commit to being open to recognizing them when they occur, and letting them in.

SilverLugia1992 OP t1_ja5w4cs wrote on February 27, 2023 at 1:53 AM

I understand what you're saying, and I appreciate it! I'm sure there's been a few other times, all of which, again, I was either too oblivious to notice or I was not interested. I'd like to think that I'm more receptive now, but it literally never happens anymore. I'm still in school and I walk down the halls and attend class and I go entirely unnoticed afaik. Even if I'm not, I might as well be because nobody talks to me and if they do, it's because they're doing their job or just being nice, the latter of which is something that took me an embarrassingly long time to recognize vs romantic interest. I now always make the assumption that they're just being nice, and it's always worked out and the few times I assumed it was romantic intent, I was wrong. So yeah, it's never easy =/

avast2006 t1_ja63zrn wrote on February 27, 2023 at 2:57 AM

I hear you. There are definitely places where flirting is a no-go. Anywhere that someone is being paid to be nice to you. Places where people go to do their own thing by themselves and not be bothered, like the gym or the grocery store. Places that tend to be a meat market, like community dancing, (while flirting isn’t forbidden, tread very lightly).

By way of perspective, what you were describing about missing cues etc, pretty accurately described me in my twenties. Women friends suspected I might be gay; no, just painfully awkward.

I hope that more of those experiences come your way, and that you know your worth well enough to recognize them when they are incoming.