Submitted by ZombiePenguinQueen42 t3_115cfyo in tifu

Obligatory this didnt happen today but rather about 4 years ago.

Backstory: I am a chronic pain patient who is prescribed high doses of opiates and because I am a responsible person I got narcan to keep at home and in my purse. Not just for me but for all the situations I cant think of. And I really dont care what your opinion is of what my dr has deemed medically effective and necessary. Now onto the fuck up.

It's a warm October evening, my dad and I'm sitting on the back screened in deck watching the Red Sox play. After the game he goes back inside to go to bed. I decided to stay out there for a bit longer and smoke a fat joint before going to bed. About 30 minutes later, i''m beyond baked and things are about to get really bad. My heart feels like it's beating slower and slower so I pull my phone out and use the heart rate monitor function. It reads 60bpm and I start freaking out thinking I'm overdosing on my fentanyl patch somehow. (Side note, my average bpm was around 95 at the time.) Both my dr and the pharmacist had drilled into me years ago that I needed to know the signs of an opioid overdose because a drastic raise in body temperature can cause the patch to suddenly release more medication into your system which could cause an overdose. My mind is now racing thinking I'm on the verge of death from an opioid overdose and the only thing that will save me is narcan.

I'm was so ashamed and scared that I didnt wake anyone in the house and tell them what I thought was going on or ask for their help. Instead I tore off my current patch, stumbled down the stairs to my purse, grabbed the narcan and without hesitation I shoved it up my nose and pushed the plunger. Fuck that shit tastes awful once it finally drips to the back of your throat. But what I was completely unprepared for was yet to come. I had just pushed myself off onto a 12hr rollercoaster ride from hell.

First it increased my panic as I was instantly thrown into an intense withdrawal as the narcan starting blocking each opioid receptor in my body. Soon my body was on fire then I basically lost control of my body and how it moved. Urges to move a certain way couldnt be quelled. Then I was running to the bathroom to throw up. But mid vomiting I lost the strength to fully propel the contents fully out of my body and suddenly I couldnt breathe.

I stumbled the few steps to get my boyfriend to have him heimlich me. But there's a bit of a snag there. I have a massive scar on my abdomen that is so bad that any blow to my gut could literally tear my intestines. He knows this and is so afraid of hurting me he cant do it hard enough. I still cant breathe. So I fall to knees, ball my fist into my diaphragm and lunge with all my strength face first into the floor. Nothing came up so I did it again, success, i can breathe again. But this rollercoaster isnt over yet.

Now I'm still to ashamed of what I'd done that i lied to my boyfriend when he asked what was going on, i told him i was just having the worst panic attack of my life and he didnt question it. From that moment on he stayed by my side. Doing everything he could think of to soothe me thru the rest of what was to come.

The fire all over my body quickly returned but so much hotter because now all the pain the meds were blocking is also flooding forward. It was unbearable. He gets me into bed and tries to comfort me but I cant handle being touched. Then i lost control of my body movements again. Yawning. Stretching painfully. Contorting on the bed. I couldnt stop moving.

Hours looped of me yawning, contorting, shaking, stretching, running to the bathroom, feeling the most intense emotions on a pendulum, and micro napping. Thankfully he is a heavy sleeper and slept thru alot of it.

At about the 6hr mark my mind was finally gaining some clarity as the narcan wore off and the fentanyl that was stored in the skin and fat were still slowly releasing some of the drug even after taking off the patch. It was only then did it click that I was most definitely not overdosing but rather a fucking moron who got way too baked, got a case of paranoia so badly that I narcaned myself over it and nearly choked to death on my own vomit. That extra layer of shame kept me from telling anyone this for years. But a lesson was learned that day, I'm much more careful about how much weed I smoke.

TLDR: Got so high I thought I was overdosing on my pain medication, narcaned myself and nearly died choking on my own vomit.

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Comments

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toomanyd t1_j91bybg wrote

Weeds amazing at making you think something's wrong when it's not.

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strangerimor t1_j91hvx1 wrote

Yep. Did it once with shrooms and it fucked me up for couple days at least. Never mixed anything after that.

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PepeMzero t1_j923rqo wrote

that is a very VERY bad idea, at least it seems from my experience with both weed and shrooms.

coming from a paranoid person, both weed and shrooms make you feel more paranoid, bad trips are a hell of a bad experience

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strangerimor t1_j923zv6 wrote

Oh I know that now. I was young and stupid back then. We didn't have access to internet back in the day so there was really no one who knew

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lipsticknic3 t1_j91j6u7 wrote

At the great risk of being downvoted:

Your use of weed while you're on opiates suggests to me that you're not responsible

Your dosing yourself with Narcan because you were too high to tell if you ODd or not is exactly like, one of the worst things that could happen as a result of mixing opiates with weed.

You are lucky that you weren't over dosing. You are lucky you are alive. My sister aspirated after an OD, her death day was just a few days ago 2/15/07.

I hope you learned not to mix weed and opiates. If you're too high to measure the effects of the opioid then I don't think you are acting responsibly. Do what you want, I just wouldn't keep self describing as responsible.

I'm glad you made it out of that one.

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ZombiePenguinQueen42 OP t1_j91k5h7 wrote

I'm so sorry your sister died from aspiration due to an overdose. That is terrible and tragic.

I however use marijuana in conjunction with my opiates as advised by my dr. I've been able to reduce my opiates by half by using medical marijuana under the care of a licensed physician. I completely respect your opinions here tho. My biggest mistake that night was that I smoked my brother's weed that had a much higher thc content unlike mine that is less thc more cbd.

Again I am sorry about your sister.

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lipsticknic3 t1_j91ksoa wrote

Right on! I appreciate that you heard my opinion.

I guess I just... I rushed to faces of her and other people just out their minds.

I can see mmj as being great in pain relieving and harm reduction. I have no issues inherently with opioid either other than the addiction properties. And I read your post and I was like oh no.... this poor freaking person and I got legitimately terrified. And no doubt bc I've been ruminating on my sister so it felt more close to home.

It sounds like I jumped to a conclusion. I can definitely remember panic attacks I've had on pot and they've always been wild. So I now see this was more a one off than a , well call it medicating to the point of certain termination.

So I do apologize , sincerely. Also, if you're on opioids now at all you've got to have some high level chronic pain and I'm so sorry that you're going through that

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ZombiePenguinQueen42 OP t1_j91pi8i wrote

You have nothing to be sorry about. I can see why my post would strike a nerve with you and bring up such a painful part of your life. And the way I received your reply was more of genuine concern because of your personal experience which is valid.

Before adding in the mmj I was on 100mcg/hr fentanyl patch(the strongest you can get outside of a hospital or being prescribed 2 patches to wear at a time) and oxycodone for break thru pain. I asked my dr if I could lower the fentanyl dose and add in mmj to compensate and he was all for it. So over 6 months we tapered me down to the 50mcg/hr patch and half the break thru oxy and I was able to get the same, if not better relief of my pain. I mainly use RSO as my mmj with the occasional joint that last me 3-4days taking just a few tips here n there.

Yes I am in severe chronic pain that will never be cured or fixed. I was in a motor vehicle accident as a young child and I was not in the proper child restraint seat for my size and age. As a result of that my gut was crushed by the lap belt that caused my intestines to rupture. Then as a teen I had a bowel obstruction that required surgery to remove the dead tissue and everything went tits up. That left me with a scar from sternum to my pelvis that's as wide as my hand and is widening constantly due to losing 40% of my abdominal muscles. So as it widens it also thins and now it's only a few millimeters thin separating my insides from out. You dont realize just how much you need your abs for walking, sitting, ect. So without the pain medication I literally cannot walk more than a few steps without collapsing.

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thrwayhairbortion t1_j9253hp wrote

I just want you to know how much I respect this comment as well as your original. You must be a great human.

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lipsticknic3 t1_j95no7n wrote

Aw thank you. I try . When I mess up I try to be accountable and learn from my mistakes. That's life, right? Much love to you, your comment made my day

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goldenchubby t1_j921gdw wrote

Post Acute withdrawal is not to be fucked with! Absolutely horrible

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Swedenesebishhh69 t1_j94d81z wrote

omg i swear I've always wondered what it felt like, it sounds horrible even though it's a life-saver

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