Submitted by ThrowAwayAnother1991 t3_119evud in tifu

So I just wanted to share 2 of my most idiotic moments that almost killed me. For context im now am recovering alcoholic, if there are others out there, god help us. This affliction sucks. The fatality rate for alcoholics is so high, the likelihood of recovery is so low. I’m going to estimate 10% of the population suffers from addiction and it makes me so sad we havnt solved it. Can’t even talk about it without getting fired or ostracized.

  1. Im 24 years old, drinking, on my tiny 13 foot motor boat watching the sunset. The sun dips below the horizon and I start to head home. I decide I’ll stand (not a boat you should stand in) and I hit an unexpected bump and boom, im in the water and the boat is spinning violently full throttle. Im over 3 miles out in the ocean, and it’s getting dark. I grew up around the ocean and I know I can attempt to swim back but if I hit a riptide, I’ll only get pushed further out into the ocean without even knowing it. Land is a sliver in the distance. I decide I have to try and grab the boat. It’s spinning so violently so as im swimming im trying to time it to grab it. It comes whipping around, I realize the motor blade is about to annihilate me and I try to get away. The side of the boat clocks me in the face hard and I start bleeding ALOT. I know there are sharks in the area but now I know I can’t get the boat and it’s time to swim. I’m on my back to save energy and telling myself to stay calm. I know if I panic I will drown. I start thinking about how I’m going to die. No one will know what happened . It’s getting dark. For what felt like an hour I was in a mental battle trying not to think about drowning. Somehow, someone saw the boat and found me. I woke up in the hospital and threw up salt water for hours. I found the guy and thanked him for saving my life. The feeling of being alone in the dark ocean haunts me to this day, I honestly thought I would die

TLDR I almost drowned in the open ocean

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cliffordc5 t1_j9ons0t wrote

Glad you’re ok, and on the road to recovery. Your story reminds me of why clipping that little lanyard tied to the kill switch onto your belt loop is so important, especially on small boats!

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ThrowAwayAnother1991 OP t1_j9orf96 wrote

Yeah it really is. A lot of people go missing every year because they don’t have the kill switch clipped on. Putting that on will save your life.

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MD7001 t1_j9ooc0d wrote

Brother, I’m also a recovering alcoholic. 5 years in. It sounds like your in your early stages. Don’t give up 5 mins before the miracle happens because it will. Took me going out twice before it clicked. Hoping you have a sponsor and a good group around you. Honestly nowadays it’s not looked at as negatively as in the past. It’s recognized that it’s a disease and not simply something you can stop without help. Sending positive energy

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ThrowAwayAnother1991 OP t1_j9pbzhs wrote

I tried that. Did all 12 steps. Started sponsoring another kid my age, drove 3 hours to give him the big book and he took his own life that same day, he never got the book. Left behind a daughter. I still remember the sound of panic in his voice, knowing his wife wasn’t coming back and his life was in ruin. He sounded like someone who was trying to escape a flaming building but knew it was too late. RIP buddy, I hope you found peace

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MD7001 t1_j9secqs wrote

Sadly that’s the very dark side of this disease. It does remind us why we need to stay sober. Suicide is permanent. My best friend in High School tried 3 times before he got it “right”. Took me years to get over guilt and what I could of done different. Bottom line the answer is nothing. Hang in there my friend

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Big_dad_big_dad t1_j9qx66u wrote

Man this is probably my worst fear. Falling off into the open ocean miles from shore. I never learned to swim, but have gone unconscious under the water twice. Just hearing your story makes me want to stay out of the water for a while.

Amazing to hear you made it back to shore, and grateful you're willing to share this with us all.

Rest well dude, you've earned it

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ThrowAwayAnother1991 OP t1_j9qxpsb wrote

Learn to swim. Could save your life or someone else’s. It’s pretty easy, babies and puppies can do it naturally.

But yeah. It was pretty scary. No one to hear you scream. Just the wrath of mother natures greatest force for miles in every direction. Biggest thing is to just stay calm, and not over exert. Unfortunately if you’re not found relatively quickly you will die. I swallowed so much salt water I’m surprised I didn’t pass out from the headache of dehydration. That would be the one thing I would have managed better was not swallowing so much water. I was saving energy by swimming on my back but that also meant waves would wash over my mouth every 30 seconds

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Big_dad_big_dad t1_j9r22dy wrote

Trying to get back in the water this summer and overcome the fear. As a kid i would just freak the fuck out once my head went under water. But I've got a better handle on things these days, and after hearing your story, I believe it's time for me to learn.

I appreciate it man, hope you heal well

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Dragonic_Smile t1_j9ravy2 wrote

Sorry to hear about your disease. I salute you for your effort. I hope you are in a better place now.

Im interested in part 2, if you still want to share it with us.

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ThrowAwayAnother1991 OP t1_j9tpfot wrote

I’ll post it later. But I set myself on fire while holding a gasoline container. Being in the ocean felt like it was going to take me over time no matter what I did. Having my right arm in flames while trying to put out the fire felt like a bomb was going to blow up on me at any moment. And yes I was drinking again.

Don’t salute me yet, I only conquer it for months here and there before I relapse. I really hope I win this battle. There’s this phrase “the devil is doing push ups in the parking lot”, meaning that the disease never fades and weakens, it’s always just outside, getting stronger and stronger while it waits for you to slip up

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