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[deleted] OP t1_j9nlm7w wrote

Reply to comment by Turbulent-Grade-3559 in TIFU by hurting my soulmate by [deleted]

I can’t, she’s been amazing this entire time I just didn’t realize it. She’s the perfect girl, she understands me and has every characteristic of wifey material, she perfect and I actually mean it, I’ve seen messed up relationships. I don’t want to throw it away.

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Turbulent-Grade-3559 t1_j9nrv04 wrote

She is also a human being with her own heart, mind, soul, desires. You need to respect that. If she takes you back. Great. I'm happy for you. If not, you gotta respect her and move on

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[deleted] OP t1_j9oqpm3 wrote

I understand, I made this post only including my fuck ups. But truly this is part of the reason she broke up with me. Time is another factor, and she blames herself for that. I just want to work on myself in the mean while, while showing I still want to be there for her.

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Turbulent-Grade-3559 t1_j9p0kob wrote

Mate, I can't tell you what to do but I wish you luck. I hope you can treat her properly with the respect she deserves as a person. It's very painful right now and I understand that. Work on you. Grow. I know you can do it

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Colton_Omega t1_j9qj93o wrote

She was the perfect woman for you, you were far from the perfect boy for her. You can’t say that you “can’t” let her go because it’s not your choice. If she is done with you then she is done. You need to work on yourself as others have said, if you aren’t a teenager it’s probably worth looking into some type of program for sex addicts because you are borderline obsessive with your desires so much so that you are getting angry for two hours when you only fuck twice a month. It’s certainly not ideal but you are either a teen or you have a problem. It’s your actions that probably made sex less desirable for her, seeing how much importance you put on sex she likely felt like an object and seeing you throw a tantrum didn’t help either. Sex is great, but you can’t have a solid relationship built on just that and sometimes with work schedules, kids, and just life you don’t get to have it as often as you would like and if that’s enough for you to throw away your “perfect person” then that is entirely a you thing that you need to work on. I think a lot of us at one time or another felt we had the one that got away. Eventually you’ll find the right fit so long as you do the work on yourself to attract the woman that actually completes you. Coming from someone that was once a hormonal sex crazed teen that thought sex was the most important thing on the planet, lost the love of my life (at that time) only to realize with a lot of growing up, therapy, and work on myself that that relationship was far from an adult relationship. I have now found my person and the future mother of my children and I love her dearly and on a deeper level than I could even have fathomed at that time.

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SeveralAd2137 t1_j9ql53t wrote

This sounds like being codependent. I get it I’ve been there and done that. You’ll meet plenty and I mean plenty of other people you like just as much I promise you. She isn’t the only girl in the world man, I can assure you there’s plenty. I completely get where you’re coming from, your story seems to have many parallels to my own and I promise you it gets better.

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[deleted] OP t1_j9qocy4 wrote

It’s hard when your goals were aligned, having so much in common, having the same interests, same humor, same mannerisms, same thinking. I’m just implying that there’s much more to what I’ve said. I didn’t throw the word soulmate out there just to make the situation more dramatic… although you guys believe me or not, she was and still is my soulmate, we have so much more in common. I just think if she walks away I’ll lose her forever. We understood each other. And I talked to her family. They told me to be persistent because they think she did it out of impulse. They said she’ll be back in a month or two.

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