Submitted by dd_phnx t3_11cozsy in tifu

For some background story, last week, I was bitten by a house dog. After tending the wound with the doctor, I was prescribed with antibiotics and naproxen, which I still use to this day. The latter, however, is harsh on the stomach, as it causes intestinal irritation, culminating in frequent visits to the throne.

On to the main story:

Yesterday, my sister and my mother paid me a visit to spend the day together and to help me with tending my recent wound. After binge-watching the final episodes of The Walking Dead, we decided that we should eat some chicken salad. While the dinner was on preparation by my mother, my sister and I began teasing on each other, as we would often do since we were children.

In this case, I have the habit of retorting by farting from a distance. Along comes my sister's face of disgust after that. This time, however, after getting teased enough from my sister, I tried to fart as a response once more. But it backfired, as I heard that certain sound. At the same time, my mother came with the dinner ready, shocked at the scene, to say the least.

As soon as my sister began to laugh at me, I quickly rushed to the toilet only to find out I really had an accident. I had forgotten at the time I took my treatment meds, which made me cause this mess. I'll spare you any further details, but after coming out of the toilet, my sister and my mother were both laughing their buttocks off.

For the rest of the day, I was like, "somebody kill me!", and couldn't look at my sister and my mother in the face.

TL;DR: I attempted to retort to my sister's teasing by farting and it literally backfired on me.

Edited to delete unnecessary, oversighted stuff.



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BirdyDevil t1_ja50vlz wrote

It's probably the antibiotics that are wreaking havoc on your bowels, tbh, not the painkillers. Because they kill the good bacteria in your guts as well as anything dangerous and therefore mess with your digestive functions. Take some probiotic supplements and it should help, or at least eat some yogurt.

And yeah, don't trust farts while on antibiotics lmao.


meontheinternetxx t1_ja55m3k wrote

Yeah naproxen if anything gives me slight constipation (and more sensitivity to acid reflux/heart burn related issues). But if it's causing OP too much trouble they should consider an alternative. It's painkillers supposed to make you feel better after all, not worse

Antibiotics of almost any kind on the other hand, are sure to give me diarrhea.


BirdyDevil t1_ja5c32r wrote

Yup exactly, painkillers cause constipation more often than anything. But antibiotics are NOT nice on the stomach and bowels, I find the severity really varies with the type for me personally. And I also feel like all of those kind of medication side effect related things are getting worse with age lol.


Fartholder t1_ja49yfz wrote

Errr I have this username for a reason...

Pleased to say I've never sharted though


spook7886 t1_ja49orv wrote

Took your lumps and gave a couple of your own.


sebluver t1_ja575u1 wrote

I once projectile-vomited carrot soup across the living room while tripping when I was 15. Are your parents WASPs? It helps because then they don’t ever want to talk about it again.


Zikkan1 t1_ja7jm2l wrote

Excuse me but what names were changed?


dd_phnx OP t1_ja7x62n wrote

Thank you for letting me know, I'll edit that out.

Edit: For some reason, I can't edit posts here. I didn't notice this mistake till I saw this comment. My bad.

Edit 2: I was eventually able to edit this post. I've deleted these sentences already.


Zikkan1 t1_ja80e4b wrote

Don't worry about it. It was just a little funny.


ThrowRATraumatized t1_ja4lofv wrote

Lmao you went from “last week” to “to this day”


derpmcsterp t1_jaakb02 wrote

Oof. Big F. At least you committed to the fart tho i salute you


Dajukz t1_ja4ghsw wrote

Give it a few months and you'll be laughing about it


AcrobaticSource3 t1_ja5rtll wrote

> I have the habit of retorting by farting from a distance

Please teach me your skills, sensei


reevelainen t1_ja4va9x wrote

Reading this and yet americans are very sensitive when it comes to nudity.


Fartholder t1_ja4yyne wrote

I've also noticed they don't like to acknowledge peeing and poohing