TIFU by thinking avocados were indestructible

I grew up in a very cold climate. Every summer, there was a pile of rocks for sale in the produce section at the grocery store. They were like $8 each. I always wondered what idiot was buying those stupid rocks.

Years later, after moving to a much warmer climate, I found out those rocks were actually avocados. After learning about all the delicious things I could make with them, I decided to try my hand at making spinach avocado dip. I had finally become one of those rock purchasing idiots.

There was only one problem. I had no idea how to infiltrate the rock. So I thought to myself, how does one break a rock? With a hammer, of course. A claw hammer? No way. Look at this thing. It’s impenetrable. It’s time to break out the giant ball peen hammer from my diesel mechanic days.

So I happily marched out to my garage, placed the rock on a baking sheet, and with the power of a thousand suns, brought the hammer of Thor down upon it.

The resulting mess was indescribable. I was not prepared for the shower of toothpaste-like goop that rained down upon every crevice my garage had to offer. My lawnmower, my tool boxes, my hair, even my car foolishly parked a mere six feet away… nothing was spared. I stood frozen, shocked at the scene I’d created out of nothing but sheer stupidity, absolutely marinating in avocado and regret.

It’s been months and I still find the odd bit of rotting avocado, just waiting to remind me that I should have just googled how to peel it. I never got to make that dip and at this point I’d rather just leave it to the experts at my local restaurants.

TLDR; Smashed an avocado with a hammer because I am an absolute moron.

EDIT- Just to clarify some things from the comments:

1. As funny as it is to picture a big dude doing this, I am in fact a small woman.
2. The avocado felt hard to the touch, so I didn’t bother thoroughly squeezing it because I didn’t know I was supposed to.
3. Today I learned there is a far less slippery way to infiltrate an avocado, and that is to cut it, rather than peel it.
4. The pit did not survive. It died along with my dignity.
5. Here’s the hammer, which I have now labeled appropriately (I hope this is allowed but if it’s not please let me know and I can remove it!): https://imgur.com/gallery/2ZxwPPd