Submitted by Throwaway6789531 t3_10vmg9k in tifu
A few weeks ago, I (29F) matched with a girl (30F) who I'll refer to as Amy on a dating app. We hit it off well, and soon moved to texting. After some spicy text exchanges, we planned a date for the coming weekend that included dinner and spending the night together doing all the things we talked about.
Prior to the date, we had a discussion about things that were important to us in a relationship. Amy told me that she was ok with me being non-religious and her being Jewish, but she did want me to respect her religion and take some interest in it. However, she did not expect me to convert. I agreed that this sounded completely reasonable. This will be important later.
The day of the date comes, I meet up with her, and we go up to her apartment, where I am immediately greeted by her Yorkie. And by "greeted", I mean the thing would not stop charging and barking at me. This continued throughout the entire time I was there, and would get even more intense anytime I got up to move.
All was going fine-ish until after dinner. We decided to play Mario Kart and after Amy realized I was very good at it, she demanded I unlock all of the tracks for her while she sat back and watched. When I said no because I didn't want to sit there and awkwardly play video games by myself, she proceeded to have what felt like the beginning of a minor meltdown.
A while after Amy composed herself, she brought up the topic of Judaism. It was then that she dropped the ultimatum that I needed to convert to Conservative Judaism or else she wouldn't marry me. Amy then began to tell me that she believed interfaith marriages were basically ethnic cleansing. This was entirely contradictory to what she had told me before the date and needless to say, I was done. At this point it was already past 1am, so I decided to stay and leave immediately in the morning because I wasn't comfortable driving around that late at night (seriously DMV drivers are crazy enough in the daytime).
So bedtime comes and I go into her room to find that it reeks of dog piss and perfume. Turns out, she's too lazy to take her crazy Yorkie on walks, so she just lets it pee on puppy pads and covers up the stench with perfume. I go to bed, disappointed that nothing went as planned that night.
The next morning, which also happens to be my birthday, I wake up at around 8am. She's still fast asleep, but I can't get up or else the dog will go nuts. She sleeps in until nearly 11am, so I'm laying there for hours unable to move, hungry, and needing to pee. As soon as she's up, I start packing up my stuff and getting the hell out of there. But not before the dog bites me on the upper calf.
I get home and check my dating profile to see she unmatched me (no major loss there). We had discussed ghosting before the date and she told me how much it's happened to her (gee I wonder why), so I decided to do the right thing and text her to let her know this isn't going to work out. She texts back and has the audacity to say that I'm the issue for things not working out. Screw me for not wanting to change a major part of myself to fit the mold for the type of wife she wants, right?
So here I am on my birthday, reeking of whatever perfume she had sprayed all over her bed, nursing a dog bite on my leg, and not having the night I expected.
Lesson learned: never go to somebody's home on a first date.
At the very least my birthday improved after that. I invited my best friend over, where we laughed over my crazy first date story and ate chocolate cake. Then for dinner, I made myself a pork chop with a butter sauce out of pure spite.
Update: I went to the doctor and they gave me a tetanus shot and antibiotics. I was able to contact Amy and she was at least cooperative enough to send the dog's vaccination documents, so no rabies shot for me. I realize now how fucked up it was to stick around on that date as long as I did, but that's why we're here isn't it? It was definitely a big fuck up on my part and I won't be that patient with someone again.
TL;DR - My date gave me the "convert to my religion or we can't get married" ultimatum on the first date, I was stuck in her home the entire night, her dog bit my leg, and I didn't get laid.